Andrew Vachss - The Weight

“Why?”

“ ’Cause if there’s enough of that stuff going to the person I’m staying with, and I could say that, then maybe I could get permission to look for it. You know, even if I had to bust through drywall or something.”

“Meaning, nobody there can tell you where what I want is, because they don’t know themselves? Or are you getting held up?”

“I can’t tell. Not for sure.”

“So?”

“So, if nobody does know, then I got to smash up stuff. And I can’t do that unless they let me do it.”

“I get it. And I got a trump card, too, it comes to that. But you try and find out first, understand?”

After Solly hung up on me, I used that bat-the aluminum one-in the trunk of the Lincoln to splatter the cell phone.

Then I drove back to where she lived.

The Thunderbird was in its slot.

It was late. I figured I’d try the next morning.

I was taking off my clothes when she walked in. Wearing a bathrobe, with a towel around her hair.

“I thought I heard something.”

“The garage door. When it opens, you hear that?”

“I… guess I do. I was never inside by myself at night when it did before. So maybe that was it.”

“I’m glad you’re up. ’Cause I want to ask you something. And it’s real important.”

She sat down on the bed. I zipped my pants back up and made sure I stayed as far away from her as I could.

“Albie’s books?”

“Yes?”

“Remember you telling me about them?”

“Yes, I remember,” she said, like her voice was a wall between us, and she had to use all her strength to keep holding it up.

“What you said was, you knew where they were but you never even looked at them, right?”

“Yes.”

She was like a big talking doll. A doll that could only say one word. I knew she’d just say it again and again if I kept asking those same kind of questions. I was stuck. So I just shut up.

A little time went past. She never moved. Then she said, “I told you, it was a matter of trust. Didn’t I do that?”

“Yeah,” I said. But even as it came out of my mouth, I realized I was going to end up sounding just like her. Two parrots, who only knew one word between them. I had to take some kind of shot. “Did you know Albie left a will?” I asked her.

“No.” Just like that. Maybe she didn’t even want to think about it. Maybe Albie had family somewhere. Maybe she didn’t know that; maybe she was afraid to find out. Everything out of this broad’s mouth was a “maybe.”

“Well, he did,” I told her.

“Where did he leave-? Wait. I get it. Solly, he’s got it, right?”

“Yes. I called him earlier tonight. I wanted to make double-sure before I said anything to you.”

“So you’re saying… you want to trade?”

That’s when I knew she was lying about Albie’s books. His “ledger,” like she told me. Telling me she never opened them. She’d opened them, all right. And she couldn’t find one thing in there that would pay her a dime.

I just looked at her, waiting.

“How do I know you’re not just saying this?”

“If I can prove that, prove I’m not making it up about a will, you’ll show me Albie’s books?”

“If you can prove it? There’s only one way you could do that, Wilson.”

That’s when I got my idea. I thought about it for a minute. She didn’t move. Then I said, “I need to go out again. I need to make a call.”

“Just stay right where you are,” she said. Then she got off the bed and walked out.

By the time she came back, she had changed into one of those silly outfits you see in gyms all the time. Fit her like blue paint, with white stripes down the sides of the legs. And she had a cell phone in her hand.

“Yes, it’s clean,” she said, handing it to me. She stood there with her hands behind her back, telling me she wasn’t leaving.

Okay.

I dialed Solly again. When I heard the click, I said, “What if I had to prove that there really was this certain paper? Is there any way I could do that without actually holding it in my hand?”

“She’s standing right there, huh?”

“That’s right.”

“Good!” he said. Which surprised the hell out of me. “Ask her, does she know what a partners desk is?”

“Do you know what a partners desk is?” I said.

She just nodded.

“Yes,” I said to Solly.

“Then tell her to go sit on it. Tell her you’ll be there in five minutes.”

I told Rena. I couldn’t read the look on her face, but she turned around and walked out.

Then Solly told me what I had to do.

I walked through the house, cursing myself for always being such a fucking dope. And just when I thought I had played it so smart, too.

See, I knew Rena was sitting on a partners desk. And what I was supposed to do with that desk. Only, I didn’t know where the damn thing was.

I knew where it wasn’t , because I hadn’t seen anything like what Solly described. But I didn’t want to walk through the whole house. It was dark. Maybe she was thinking Solly knew she could hear what he was saying, so he’d used some code. Like “tell her to go sit on it” was really telling me to kill her.

It wasn’t just that I didn’t want to scare her; I was scared of what she’d do if she thought I was coming after her.

“Rena?” I called out. Not loud, but strong enough to carry.

Nothing.

I turned on the TV in the living room. Maybe the sound would tell her where I was.

But then I shut it right off. For once, I wasn’t going to mess something up. If I’m Rena, maybe I think the TV is just a trick. So I could trap her instead of trying to hunt her down.

So I went to the gym.

I was doing lat pulls, front and back. Ten front, ten back. Over and over, until I lost count. I don’t even know what I set the weight for. I wasn’t tired. And nothing was coming to me.

Except Rena. She came into the gym and stood in front of me. She had on that same blue outfit, but now she was holding a pistol. She handled it like she knew what it was for.

“What happened?” she said.

I let the bar go back up. Slow, the way you’re supposed to.

“I’m stupid,” I said.

“Meaning…?”

“I tell you, go sit on the desk. Only, I don’t know where that damn desk is , okay?”

She made a pretty sound in her throat. It made every part of her wiggle a little. Except the hand holding that pistol.

“Go that way,” she said, pointing with her other hand.

I walked. She was behind me. When she said to turn, I turned. Finally, we were in a little room. The desk was just old dark wood with a couple of drawers, little glass knobs. The only weird thing was that it was facing the wall.

“Stand still,” she said.

I saw her walk around from behind me. She went right up against the wall, then she turned around and faced me. She sat down so her elbows and wrists made a triangle, with the pistol centered on my chest.

“You get it now?”

“A partners desk. So one partner sits facing the other one, right?”

“Yes. This is Albie’s den. For his special, private stuff. Not his work stuff, understand?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve been in here plenty of times,” she said.

I remembered hearing a girl say something like that, a long time ago, when I was still in school. The other girls were really stabbing her. With words, I mean. Not like playing the dozens-really vicious stuff. Like, her mother must be a real whore,’ cause the girl didn’t even know who her own father was. “I do too ,” the girl kept saying, like she was a little kid.