Andrew Vachss - The Weight

Then it came to me. “Your father was a truly honorable man,” I told her. “Everybody had respect for him.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I miss him a lot. But I know he’ll be waiting for me. In Heaven, I mean.”

“I’m sure that’s true.”

“Mr. Vizner, do you want me to-?”

“What’s with all this ‘Mr. Vizner’ stuff? What happened to ‘Uncle Solly’?”

“You said not in front of other people,” the girl said. She wasn’t mad, just saying it.

“I did say that,” Solly told her. “I’m a stupid old man.”

“Don’t you say that!” Her big eyes filled up.

“Ah, Grace. What I meant to say is, it’s my fault, that’s all. I thought, with my nephew here, you’d know it was okay.”

“But he’s not your nephew, is he?”

“Why would you say that, child?”

“I guess because he doesn’t look a bit like you, does he?”

“Don’t you remember, that time we had dinner? You, me, and your dad? Remember what he said? ‘Who’d ever think an ugly mug like me could have such a beautiful daughter?’ ”

“Oh, Dad always said stuff like that. But he was just teasing. He was very handsome.” She turned to me: “Don’t you think he was?”

“A very handsome man,” I said.

“See, there!”

“I give up,” Solly said. “I know when I’m beat.”

The girl smiled again. That smile, I never saw one like it before. It was like a… blessing.

She kind of floated out of where we were sitting. I could hear her in the kitchen, putting things in the refrigerator.

I waited until I heard the girl go into one of the other rooms and close the door behind her. I guess she was going to study, like Solly said.

“I’m not a hit man,” I told him.

“This I asked for?”

“I been thinking. About the way you broke it down and all. Something’s not right.”

“What do you know, something’s not right?”

“Solly, I have to be a fucking genius to see through glass? The five years are up. For me, I know. And for you, too, never mind that fairy tale about being down in Florida. Maybe you went, maybe you didn’t… but you didn’t stay. And, knowing you, I don’t think anyone could prove you even left the state at all.”

“Okay,” he said.

That surprised me, him giving it up so easy. I expected more, but I could tell-if I wanted more, I was going to have to ask for it.

“Okay, what?” I said to him.

“Okay, you’re right. So here’s what you’re thinking: even if this Jessop got popped tomorrow, and even if he wanted to roll, he’s got nobody to roll on . Except Big Matt, I suppose… but that’s his problem, not mine. Tell me if I’m wrong.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Good. Then just listen for a minute. Listen good, Sugar. I’m not… I’m not responsible for this Jessop. Just for you and Big Matt. The guys I brought in. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Now, Albie, he’s responsible for Jessop. Only, Albie, he’s not around.”

“So tell Big Matt-”

“Tell him fucking what? There’s a guy named Jessop who could maybe blow up his whole life? Tell him this guy could reach out from his past and destroy his future? I should tell him, maybe that baby he’s waiting on, that kid’s fifteen years old before he ever sees his father, except maybe on Visiting Day?

“I should tell him his wife’s gotta put the kid in some day-care place, go out, and get a job herself? ’Cause you know the law’s going to be sitting on her forever, waiting to see some sign of the money. Want me to go on?”

“No. No, I get it.”

“If you ‘got’ it, you wouldn’t be telling me you’re not a hit man. A hit man, that’s a guy who kills for money. Plenty of them around. But it wouldn’t cost me a cent, I wanted this guy done. One call to Big Matt and…”

“I know.”

“But it’s not that simple. This Jessop, he’s probably rock-solid. Wouldn’t even think about giving anyone up. No way he even knows where Big Matt is, anyway.”

“So why don’t you just let it go?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m smart enough to follow orders, but not smart enough to understand them?”

He looked at me. Straight and hard, like he was boiling-over mad, but keeping a lid on it.

“Let’s look at it the way Albie would have. Can we do that? Yeah? All right. Try this: Albie doesn’t know you. Not even your name. So, if his guy, this Jessop, if he comes back, says it went fine, Albie wouldn’t expect him to hang around. But he’d know where to find him, he had to.

“Next thing would be, Albie gives me a call. Only, this time, there’s no answer. Then he gets the word. I’m dead. Not killed-that would be different-just, you know, dead. Natural causes. You with me?”

“Yeah,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure I was.

“Okay, so what does Albie do then ?”

“I don’t-Ah, wait a second. You’re saying Albie, he’d have to go and find me . And Big Matt, too?”

“At last!” Solly said, just short of ranking me.

“Not find us to… do anything. Just to be sure we hadn’t done anything.”

“Now you’ve got it, Sugar.”

“So you, like, owe your friend?”

“My brother, more like. That’s how close we were. And I owe him the same as he would owe me, it went the other way.”

The girl came in so quiet I didn’t realize she was there until she said, “Uncle Solly, would you and Jerome, would you like some apple juice? You know it’s good for you, and-”

“That would be lovely, sweetheart,” Solly told her.

Ken’s daughter. I never thought of him having a kid. A house. Stuff like that.

Solly, he never stops thinking.

Only Solly, maybe he was more than just a thinker. If he hadn’t been lying about that war, he’d killed a lot more guys than any hit man I ever heard of. And not for money.

It was what he didn’t say that I heard the clearest. Some things, they just have to be done. Taking out this Jessop, that wouldn’t make me a hit man. It would make me what I always wanted to be: a good thief. And a good thief always cleans up after himself.

“I’ll do it,” I said.

“I knew you were the real thing,” the old man said, showing me teeth.

I was working on getting back to things everybody does, like getting up when the alarm went off. What I mean is, the alarm I set, not those damn prison gongs.

But I hadn’t even bothered to set the alarm last night; I knew I couldn’t do any of the things I wanted to do until the afternoon, so I just slept in.

I’d filled the refrigerator with protein shakes and power bars, stuff like that. I’d picked up a lot of vitamins, too. I don’t really know much about them. A young guy in the health store, he picked most of the stuff out for me.

He didn’t know he was doing that, I don’t think; just assumed he knew what I’d want. Which was a good thing, since I didn’t want to be asking a lot of questions. You do that, people remember you. I even let him sell me a set of dumbbells for traveling… the kind you fill with water.

I didn’t really have any special taste for that powdered stuff, but it was what guys who power-lifted were always talking about. And I figured that woman downstairs, she’d be nosing around, sooner or later. I wanted it to look like I really was what it said I was on those business cards.

“It’s always better you don’t try looking like something you couldn’t be,” Solly said. “Nobody’s gonna buy you’re an accountant, but you don’t have to look like a thug, either.