Joan Hohl - A Man Apart

“I appreciate it.”

Justin only vaguely heard Ben’s chuckle as he left the room. Staring out, he didn’t see the barren scene of winter white on the other side of the window. An image had formed in his mind, an image Hannah had drawn for him with her description of Pennsylvania. The verbal picture she had given him was of a different landscape, a vision of rolling countryside, lush and green, bathed in sparkling spring sunlight.

Blinking, he frowned, then turned and strode to his bedroom. Going to his desk he opened his personal laptop, and went onto the Net. He had some research to do.

Several hours later Justin shut down the computer and picked up the phone to call the company pilot in charge of the ranch’s helicopter. After asking the pilot to pick him up at the pad a short distance from the house, he pulled a bag from the closet and dumped enough clothes into it to last him a couple of days.

Following the near ennui he had been experiencing since he had returned from Deadwood, the rush of anticipation he was feeling was invigorating.

Justin placed another call before striding briskly from his room. He had what he figured was an interesting and potentially very profitable idea he needed to discuss with his brother, Adam.

His battery recharged, Justin gave a brief explanation to Ben as he drove him to the landing pad. The chopper was already there, blades slicing through the frigid air.

“Not to worry,” Ben assured him. “I’ll take good care of the horses.”

“I know you will.” With a wave goodbye, Justin headed for the helicopter.

“By the way,” Ben yelled over the roar of the spinning blades. “You look and sound like your old self again.”

Near the end of the second week of February, Hannah faced up to the suspicions she had been mentally dodging for close to a week, suspicions induced by the vague feeling of queasiness she had in the morning, the slight tenderness in her breasts. Needing more proof than just symptoms, she stopped by a pharmacy on her way home from work.

The strip from the particular home pregnancy kit she had purchased turned the positive color. Not an altogether complete confirmation, Hannah knew. There had been cases where the strip results had proved wrong, but…it definitely required a visit to her doctor.

How could it have happened? Not even in their most heated, impromptu and wild love play, had Justin forgotten to use protection.

Of course, no one ever claimed the protective sheaths were infallible, Hannah mused as she studied the inside of her freezer, trying to decide what to have for dinner.

Having heated in the microwave the frozen meal she’d chosen Hannah sat in front of it, considering the options available to her should her doctor’s examination prove conclusive.

Sliding the plate aside, Hannah laid her fork on the place mat and picked up the cup of green tea she had brewed for her dinner beverage, instead of her usual coffee.

Coffee. She sighed. She loved coffee, especially in the morning, all morning…several cups of coffee, regular, not decaf.

Hannah knew she would have to forgo her favorite drink if she decided to-

Oh, hell. Hannah took another sip of the tea. It wasn’t bad tasting. It wasn’t coffee, but actually was rather good as far as substitutes went.

That is, unless she chose an alternative. The thought set a wave of nausea roiling in her stomach. She gulped the tea in hopes of quelling the sensation.

She couldn’t do it. Though she supported a woman’s right to choose any of the options, Hannah knew that she really had only one option. Should the doctor confirm her pregnancy, Hannah was going to have a baby.

A baby. Visions of soft blankets and tiny booties danced through Hannah’s mind. A fierce rush of protectiveness shot through her, and she slid a hand down over her flat belly.

Her child.

Justin’s child.

The sudden realization was both thrilling and somewhat frightening. How to tell him?

Justin had been up-front with her from the beginning. He had wanted nothing from her except a brief physical affair. Their affair had been the most wonderful experience Hannah had ever known. Of course, she hadn’t considered the possibility of falling in love with him.

Over the days they had been together, Hannah had learned a lot about Justin. Yet at times she felt she hardly knew him at all.

As a lover, she couldn’t imagine anyone his equal. There were moments when his voice was so tender, his touch so gentle it brought tears to her eyes while at the same time setting her body on fire. And there were other times when his voice was raw and ragged, his touch urgent, his lovemaking fierce and demanding.

And Hannah had reveled in every minute of both approaches.

Then there were the periods when all they did was talk, sometimes teasingly, other times seriously.

Hannah had learned that Justin was honest to a fault. When he shared something of himself with her he was blunt and to the point. Not a bad quality to possess. She knew a woman had betrayed his trust and that he had no intention of walking that route again.

She also knew Justin liked kids. He had confessed to Hannah that he adored his niece, Becky. But Justin had never mentioned a desire for children of his own, other than to say his ex had wanted to wait a while before starting a family.

If the doctor confirmed her pregnancy, Hannah didn’t know whether or not to inform Justin. After all, she reasoned, if Justin had any interest in a child of his own, he wouldn’t have been so scrupulous about protection.

For all the good it had done them.

Still, he had a right to know he had fathered a child. It was her duty, as an honest person, to let him know.

She just didn’t know how to tell him.

Valentine’s Day. The day for lovers. Hannah not only didn’t leave work early, she worked over an hour later than usual. She even skipped lunch. Tired, only vaguely hungry, and not so much as considering a restaurant, especially on this special day for sweethearts, she went straight home.

Her heart skipped many beats as she stepped from the condo’s elevator to find Justin propped languidly against her door. A bag was on the floor next to his crossed ankles.

The bag, along with the very sight of him filled her with a flash of hope that he had come to Philadelphia because he realized that they belonged together.

Gathering her senses, and applying her common sense almost at once, Hannah told herself to play it cool until she heard from his lips the words she desperately longed to hear. How easy it would be for her to then tell him of her pregnancy suspicions.

Heaven help her, he looked…wonderful, like the horseman he was. With his Stetson, heavy wool jacket, jeans and slant-heeled boots, he looked exactly as he had the first time she’d seen him.

“Hi.”

The low, intimate timbre of his voice nearly stopped her breathing completely. Damn his gorgeous hide. She had to repeat to herself her cautioning advice to play it cool.

“Hi.” Hannah was amazed by the steadiness of her own voice, her ability to speak at all, as her throat was suddenly dry. “What are you doing here?” Door key at the ready, she aimed it at the key hole. No minor feat, considering the tremor shaking her fingers.

“I came to see you. Are you going to invite me in?”

“Yes, of course, come on in.” Hannah walked inside with as much decorum as she could muster. “I didn’t mean what were you doing here, at my apartment,” she said, not sure if she was making conversation, or babbling on in response to the sudden attack of nervousness coursing through her. “I meant what are you doing here, in Philadelphia?”

“Well,” he said, grinning as he shrugged out of his jacket, removed his hat, “I wanted to see you. Though that isn’t the only reason I’m here, in the northeast.”