Lisa Scottoline - Save Me

“Okay, it’s a plan.” Rose leaned over and gave her a hug. “You’re the best. Thanks so much for coming.”

“I’ll be in Philly all week. Call me if you need me. Give everybody kisses for me, would you?”

“Yes. Same to Simon and the boys. Love you.”

“You, too.” Annie opened the door and climbed out of the car, her eyes glittering with mischief. “By the way, I’m keeping this sweater. I’ll give it to the homeless lady on my corner.”

“No!” Rose smiled. “Gimme back my sweater.”

Annie laughed. “Why, you going to a funeral?”

Rose blinked, caught up short, thinking instantly of Amanda.

Annie’s smile faded. “Oops, sorry. I just stuck my foot in my mouth, didn’t I?”

“Nah, and keep the sweater.” Rose tried to rally. “Then maybe I won’t need it, right?”

“Right!” Annie said, closing the door.

Rose walked up the brick walkway to Kristen’s house, a boxy duplex on a street of older rowhouses. A man in a white undershirt and jeans was washing a red Ford pickup in the driveway, and he shut off the hose when he saw Rose.

“Whoops, didn’t mean to spray you,” he said with a grin. “Hi.”

“Hello, I’m here to see Kristen. I’m a parent of one of the kids in her class.”

“Jacob Horton. I live on the first floor. Just a heads-up, Kristen came home, upset. She was over at Fiore’s.”

“Thanks, bye.” Rose went to the set of exterior steps, climbed to the second floor, reached the wooden landing, and knocked on the screen door. “Kristen!” She waited but there was no answer, so she knocked again. “Kristen?”

The door opened, and Kristen stood in the doorway, dressed in a black cotton dress, wiping tears from her eyes. “Rose?”

“Can I come in, for a minute?”

“Okay.” Kristen sniffled and stepped aside, and Rose entered and gave her a big hug.

“I know it’s a hard time for you and the other teachers.”

“It’s so awful, everything’s so awful.” Kristen hugged her back, then released her, wiping her eyes. “The wakes were so sad, and Mrs. Nuru and Mr. Rodriguez are so angry, and there were even reporters there, asking me a zillion questions, like how Melly and Amanda got along.”

“I know. I was there.” Rose looked around, her eyes adjusting to the light in the small living room. A black suitcase rested on a red-checked couch, and T-shirts and shorts sat stacked in a pile on top of a painted bookshelf, ready to be packed. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I’m sorry, I’m leaving. I can’t take it anymore. I quit.”

“ What? ” Rose asked, aghast. “When? Why? ”

“It’s all too much. I messed up here, I talk too much, and I can’t work here, watching everything I say, walking on eggshells.” Kristen’s eyes welled up again, her freckled skin mottled with emotion. “Mr. Rodriguez said I have bad judgment and loose lips sink ships. I give up. I’m not cut out to be a teacher, at least not here, not anymore. I’m going.”

“Wait, slow down.” Rose thought of Melly. “I was just saying this will pass, it has to.”

“No, it won’t, and it doesn’t have to.”

“Yes, it will, Kristen. You’re young and you don’t realize. Time changes things. Things you don’t think you’ll survive, you do. I know, I’ve lived it.”

“Sorry, I’ve made my decision. I’m leaving. I’m sorry.” Kristen turned on her heel, picked up two T-shirts, and tossed them into the suitcase, startling a white cat that bounded out of the room, his tail high.

“But what about Melly? And what about the other kids in the program? They just went through a trauma, and Amanda’s still in the hospital. They need you, now more than ever. Melly needs you.”

“I’m just the gifted teacher, and not that experienced, as Mrs. Nuru keeps reminding me.”

“But the kids love you. Melly loves you.”

“I have your number, I’ll call her.” Kristen placed a quilted toiletries case into the suitcase. “I’ll stay in touch with her.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I feel guilty enough?” Kristen picked up some socks and wedged them into the case. “I have to live my own life.”

“Kristen, please stay. Please. ”

“Don’t you see, if I stay, I make it worse for her?” Kristen turned, stricken. “They think I favor her, and now they’ll be looking for it in everything I do. It’s best for her if I go.”

“That’s not what’s best for her. I know what’s best for her.”

“Look, I’m sorry, I really am, but this is messing up my life, too.”

“Then why don’t you slow down, see how you feel in two weeks?”

“No. I emailed Mr. Rodriguez my resignation. I said to tell people I had a family emergency. It’s a done deal.”

“You’re really leaving now ?” Rose asked, incredulous.

“Yes. I’m going to my parents’, and I’d appreciate it if you’d keep it confidential. I don’t want any of these crazy parents emailing me or posting any more crap on my Facebook wall. No more reporters, either.” Kristen’s pretty features softened, and she became her old sweet self. “I really am sorry, so sorry, for everything, but I have to go now. Please, go. I’ll call Melly in a day or two.”

“Do you swear? You’ll break her heart if you don’t. You owe her that much. She’s a person, with feelings.”

“I said I will, and I will.” Kristen crossed to the door, and opened it wide, and Rose went to the threshold, bewildered.

“You’re not who I thought you were.”

“None of us is,” Kristen said, unsmiling.

Rose steered down Allen Road, the window open, her elbow resting on the door, and a breeze blowing through her hair. She’d called Leo to tell him about Kristen, but he hadn’t answered, and she’d left a message. Kristen was leaving Melly without her only ally, and Rose wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t know whether to send Melly to school or how to tell Melly that Kristen was leaving, and in the end, either way, it would be a terrible blow.

Rose stopped at a red light, and the traffic had lessened, once she was on the outskirts of town. The sky was darkening, and she scanned the neat houses with their glowing lights, a typical Sunday night in the suburbs. Parents and kids would be hunkering down around kitchen tables, doing math and French homework, or building volcanoes with baking-soda lava or teepees ribbed with Popsicle sticks. Not all the Sunday night scenes would be so idyllic, and Rose knew that, too. That, she had lived, too.

She hit the gas, and the homes disappeared among the commercial outskirts and the chain stores like the CVS, Giant, Costco, Wal-mart, and Target. Beyond them, she could see the distant outline of the school, with its long, low roofline and large wings on either side. The wings held the classrooms, and the entrance and administrative offices were nearer the left wing, on the north side. The cafeteria was also near the left, but it was built on the front of the school like an addition, with no second floor because of the skylights. Rose stopped at a traffic light, and from this distance, she could pretend that nothing had ever happened. No fire, no women in coffins, no daughters in hospitals, no angry parents, and no young teacher quitting a promising career, leaving Melly on her own.

Rose fed the car gas when the light changed, braking as she approached the school. As she got closer, she could see that the street in front was marked off by orange cones and sawhorses. Pickups and construction vehicles sat parked along the curb, ending in a rusty dumpster. The few cars around her slowed down, rubbernecking, and she found herself pulling over in front of the school, parking behind a dusty pickup with a bumper sticker, UNION CARPENTERS HAVE BETTER WOOD. She cut the ignition, and the breeze through the window smelled like burned things.