Dave Zeltserman - Small crimes

I stared at him and he gave me a dead-eyed stare right back.

'Fine,' I said. 'Make it a beer and a shot of whiskey.'

He took the twenty bucks off the bar. When he came back, he brought me my drinks and twelve bucks change.

'Look,' I said, 'if this is about the affidavit, I have no hard feelings about it.'

'Why should you? I swore on the Bible before I filled that out. You think I perjured myself?'

'Cut the crap, okay, I know you made a deal with Junior.'

'You calling me a liar?'

A vein along his neck was twitching and the muscles in his arms and shoulders had bunched up. He had a look in his eyes that I had seen a couple of times in the past. Once, right before he cracked this guy's skull who was shooting off his mouth about different crap. Another time before he nearly beat two guys to death for harassing one of his girls. On a good day, I'd be able to hold my own against him, but as weak as I was feeling I knew he'd kill me.

I took the whiskey in one swallow and then followed that up with a healthy drink of beer. Earl stood frozen in malice, his vein still twitching away. I held the beer bottle so I could use it if I had to, although I didn't think it would do me much good.

'I swear, Earl, I don't have a clue what this is about.'

'One of my girls died today.'

'Yeah, I heard. I'm sorry.'

'Yeah, thanks. You know, that's why we're so crowded tonight. Everyone wants to pay their last respects. Is that why you're here, Joe?'

I didn't say anything. I just kept watching his vein, watching as it beat faster than a rabbit's heart.

'It's funny,' he said. 'I never knew about Susie and that DA until today, but what I've been hearing since is that this had been going on for six months. Funny thing is Rooster doesn't get a call till you've been out of jail for… how many days? Three?'

'Four,' I said.

His lips separated from his teeth, revealing a thin, bare-fanged smile. 'Yeah, four days. Why do you think that is?'

'I swear, Earl, I had nothing to do with this.'

'Why don't you guess anyway?'

I shook my head and gave a half-hearted shrug.

'No guess, huh?' He edged closer towards me. 'Hey, man, you want to know something else that's funny? Whoever called Rooster left his name as Joe.'

That sonofabitch. That was all I could think. That sonofabitch. I could just picture Dan chuckling to himself over that one.

'You think I'd be that stupid?' I asked, trying to look as dumbfounded as possible. 'You think I'd call and leave my name?

Come on, Earl, use your brains. You want to know why this happened a few days after I got out of jail? Because whoever did this waited until I got out of jail before calling.'

He had been edging towards me, but that stopped him in his tracks. A perturbed expression crossed his face, and then he slowly started nodding to himself as he thought over what I said. I guess he decided to give me the benefit of the doubt. He showed me a sheepish grin and refilled my shot glass.

'Hey, man,' he said. I could've killed you a minute ago. Damn.'

My hand shook as I picked up the shot glass. I got most of the whiskey down my throat, and only a little of it down the front of my shirt. I signaled for another shot and Earl obliged.

'Okay, so that's what's behind your affidavit,' I said. 'I can understand that, and I can understand Junior offering you a break, but you know what you wrote's a load of crap. Any way you can back out of it, claim you were coerced by Junior?'

'Hey, man, I'm not talking about that paper. I can't do anything about it now.'

'You know it's bullshit.'

'I don't know nothing like that. I'm sorry about it, but I'm not saying another word, man. Sorry.'

I started to open my mouth. I was going to say something else, but I saw it was pointless. The whiskey had taken a tiny bit of the edge off, not much, but a tiny bit. I still badly wanted the coke.

I sighed. 'Well, how about those lines, then. How much?'

He thought about it, but shook his head.

'Can't do it, man,' he said.

'Why not?'

'I have this rule. If I fuck someone, I can't give them a chance to fuck me back.'

'Wait, what you're telling me is because you screwed me with that affidavit, you're going to keep screwing me?'

'Sorry.'

A couple of guys had come over to the bar to change their tens and twenties into singles. Earl turned his back on me.

My hands were still shaking and my head was now throbbing. I got off the stool and took a couple of steps towards the exit and stopped. I remembered Toni, how she had no problem scoring coke the other night. Any of the girls could. I turned and started towards the stage area when someone grabbed my arm.

'Hey, Joe, just the man I wanted to see.'

I looked down and saw Scott Ferguson. He was wasted, his eyes barely able to focus on me. He pushed himself to his feet, and held onto my arm for support.

'I need to ask you more about Vassey,' he said.

I had no choice. I walked him back towards the bar where we would have more privacy.

'It don't make any sense,' he said. 'Why would Vassey's kid kill Billy? If Billy had the money he owed, what would be the point? It don't make any sense.'

'Maybe he was stubborn about giving up his money.'

Ferguson made a face. 'I'll tell you something about Billy,' he said. 'He was a pussy. He would've paid in a second if he thought he'd get hurt. I've been asking around, and from what I hear Vassey's kid worships his old man. He wouldn't try ripping him off. So why in the world would he kill Billy?'

'I don't know whether Junior killed your brother or not,' I said, 'but I told you the other day,; the guy's a psycho. He gets off on hurting people, and if he was collecting from your brother my guess is he got carried away.'

All I could think of was getting free of him. Whatever I had to do to speed it up. I took Earl's affidavit from my jacket pocket and handed it to him.

'Read this,' I said. 'I talked to Earl and he admitted to me that he manufactured it for Junior. As you can see, Junior's already trying to cover his tracks.'

Ferguson's doughy features hardened as he stared at the affidavit. It took him a while, but he got through it.

'How come you're mentioned in it?' he asked, his expression turning more surly.

'Because Junior's creating himself an alibi, and at the same time pointing the finger at me.'

'Why you?'

'I guess he thinks it's plausible. I just got out of jail. People here in Bradley don't feel all that favorable towards me, and I guess no one would really care if I got charged with something like this. I'm as good a patsy as anyone.'

As Ferguson mulled over what I said, I took the affidavit out of his hands and slipped it back into my inside jacket pocket.

'Hey, I wanted to keep that!'

'Sorry, I need it.'

His eyes narrowed and his lips compressed, and he looked like all the other drunks I've seen over the years before they threw their first punch. He inched closer to me, his breath smelling like an open bottle of bourbon.

'How do I know there's not a good reason for pointing a finger at you?'

'If there was, I would've had Earl fill out an affidavit for me long before he did this one.'

He thought about what I said, mumbled something that I couldn't quite hear, and then seemed to lose interest in me. I watched as he staggered back to his table.

I walked around the room so I could get to the stage without having to pass Ferguson again. There were no empty seats, so I squeezed in near the loudspeakers. I took out a twenty and signaled with it. A tall, skinny blonde was now onstage. She spotted the twenty and came over. I started to slip the bill under her garter belt, but she moved my hand so I would slide it in under her G-string. Up close, she had way too much makeup on, and her face almost seemed to crack when she smiled. She leaned over and whispered in my ear about us partying alone in one of the back rooms when her set was done. I nodded. I didn't care who she was or what she looked like. All I could think about was the cocaine.