Dave Zeltserman - Small crimes

'Why don't you drive around,' he said.

I shifted the car into first gear and pulled back onto the road. 'How'd you know where to find me?' I asked.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dan smiling pleasantly. 'One of my deputies, Hal Wheely, spotted you sitting in the Star Diner with Junior and gave me a call. I've been waiting out here close to a half-hour for you to finish up. I'll tell you, Joe, that was an interesting situation you got yourself into last night. The police report read like a bad Hollywood script. I would've thought you'd try to be smarter and keep a low profile.'

'It was just one of those things,' I said.

'Just one of those things?' Dan chuckled softly. I guess that's one way of describing it. So tell me, Joe, did it happen the way you said it?'

'Yeah, pretty much.'

He seemed somewhat amused as he studied the area where I had been scratched. 'Looks like she did a pretty good job on you,' he said.

'It's not too bad. I'll live.'

'I can just picture it.' He chuckled again. 'Little Clara Coakley luring you with her nice ass and small tits and you falling for it hook, line and sinker. Even with her small tits she's a good-looking girl, but let me explain the ropes to you. You're forty, a disgraced ex-cop, a felon, no job, no prospects, and at best average looking. There're not too many twenty-something-year-old girls, especially attractive ones like Clara, who'd have any interest in you.'

"Thanks for the pep talk. Did one of your deputies spot her car parked near my parents'?’

‘What do you think, Joe?’

‘Pretty much that.'

'After those two boys were brought to the emergency ward, the hospital called my office. Our DA friend should have called me also, but I guess it slipped his mind. Any case, I dragged myself out of a warm bed for you, Joe. I visited your Bradley police station, read the police report, and thought I'd help clear the matter up quickly. Let me tell you what I was hoping. That you'd be smart enough to make a deal with our DA friend. Nothing outrageous, just something fair like you don't file charges against his little girl and he leaves sleeping dogs lie. Or in our case, cancer-ridden dogs. Tell me you did that.'

'I thought about it, but no, I didn't.'

'Damn it!' He punched the dashboard. His face screwed up into a snarl, the type you'd see on a wounded animal. Just as quickly it was gone and his pleasant smile was back. He sighed, still smiling pleasantly, 'Joe, Joe, Joe. Why didn't you do that? I really thought you'd be smart enough to do that.'

'Because it wouldn't have done any good,' I said.

'I think it could've done a lot of good.'

'No, it wouldn't. He would've brought charges against his daughter without blinking an eye. If I had offered him a deal it would have only made him dig harder. Besides, he knows no jury around here would convict her.'

Dan thought over what I said and shook his head. 'I think you're outguessing yourself. You're probably right about Clara walking with nothing but a slap on her pretty behind, but it would still be a nasty business and I don't think he'd want to put her through that. Why don't you do us both a favor and visit Coakley tomorrow and threaten to press charges against Clara.'

'Trust me, I was there with Phil last night. I saw the way he was taking it. If I tried suggesting a deal, he'd bring me up on obstruction of justice charges.'

'Well, Joe,' he said, 'you know that I like to play the percentages. I thought this would be a simpler and less risky way to resolve our problem, but it's your call. As long as you resolve it, I'm satisfied. I have to tell you, though, time is ticking away. I'd really like to see our problem resolved with Plan A, but I'm afraid I might have to go to Plan B soon.'

'I wasn't bluffing years ago when I told you about my safety deposit box.'

'I didn't think you were.'

'You'll do jail time if anything happens to me.'

'I know I will.' He gave a heavy sigh. 'But, Joe, as I told you before, I like to play the percentages. If Manny talks, which I consider a certainty, I'll go away for a very long time. From what you've told me about the contents of your safety deposit box, I think the only thing that can hurt me is that tape. I've talked to a lawyer and I'm pretty sure your journal won't be able to cause me too much damage. Some, but not much. In any case, purely from a percentage point of view, I'm better off with that scenario than with Manny talking. From a personal point of view, I'd hate to do it. I like you, Joe, and I'm not terribly fond of either our DA or Manny.'

'And you think you can get away with murdering me?'

He made a sour face and shrugged. 'Again, I'd hate to go in that direction, but yes, I think so. You get picked up by my deputies, a struggle ensues, and then we have the inevitable outcome.'

'And you've had practice with that.'

'Joe, I'm not saying one way or the other.'

'You're not thinking clearly,' I said. 'If I were to drop dead right now it wouldn't stop Phil from trying to coax a confession out of Manny.'

Dan was still smiling pleasantly, but his smile seemed frozen on his face. 'I'm playing the percentages with that also. I think if you're out of the picture, Coakley will let things drop. I might be wrong. We'll see. On another subject, you visit Manny yet?'

I nodded.

'And did you reach the same opinion as me – that he's about to screw us?'

'I saw him while Phil was reading him the Bible. You're right, he's not the Manny I used to know. He's a scared man who's trying to bargain his way into heaven. My guess, he's trying to work out a deal with his lawyer to protect Junior.'

'Sonofabitch!' Dan exploded. I saw Harold Grayson a few days ago and he couldn't look me in the eye. Damn, I should've known better. Joe, as a friend, I'm telling you to make a choice and get it over with. Manny or Coakley, either one. Just get it done. Time's running out, understand?'

I didn't say anything.

He took a deep breath and let it out loudly. 'Even without Plan B, I know you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your days in prison. So act smart now, okay? If you don't think you can make a deal with our DA friend, then choose between them and get it done.'

We drove in silence for a while. I turned my car around and headed back to his pickup truck. He let out another heavy sigh and asked me about my dinner with Junior.

'I thought I could talk sense into that psycho. All he has to do is either move his old man out of state or keep Phil from visiting him, but he won't consider it. According to Junior, his old man's not a rat and that's all there is to it.'

'I could've saved you the trouble. I tried talking to Junior a few weeks ago. He's not right in the head. And he's certainly a one hundred percent certifiable psycho. Of course, that's nothing we didn't already know.'

'He could barely control himself when I pushed him about Manny confessing,' I said.

'I can imagine that.' His eyes crinkled with amusement. 'Junior's got some complex concerning his old man. You should see it, Joe, if Manny so much as raises his voice to him or reprimands him, Junior goes pale as a sheet. Probably wets himself also. He's not capable of standing up to Manny about anything, especially questioning who can visit him or where he's going to live out his final days. If it were that simple, I would've taken care of this weeks ago.'

I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to mention about Junior siccing his thugs on me to collect thirty grand. Instead I told him how Junior had invited me to his basement to show me a new game room.

'He did that, huh?' Dan said, laughing slightly.

'Yep.'

'I guess for him it probably is a game room,' he said. 'What's he got down there?'

'Junior's built himself a soundproof room with two items in it; a butcher's table and a furnace.'