Suzetta Perkins - Déjà Vu

A medium-size white church hugged the corner. Angelica recognized it right away. She had accompanied Margo to this place of worship many times. The choir could sing! The music would be jamming and every now and then it would make Angelica stomp her feet, sway her shoulders from side to side, and get in with the groove. The atmosphere was one of love, and they had a preaching, teaching pastor who exuded it.

Angelica found a place to park and turned off the ignition. She sat a moment hidden behind her shades, but the heat in the car caused her to get out before she was ready. Friendly faces smiled, and Angelica smiled too, her eyes darting back and forth searching for a glimpse of Margo.

The sanctuary filled fast. The elder mothers of the church sat off to one side, and the deacons sat on the other. All were dressed in white, and Angelica smiled. She took a seat near the back-not quite on the last row, but far from the front.

She scanned the sanctuary again. There was no sign of Margo or her children. Angelica sat on the edge of her seat the moment she saw him. Malik, “Mr. Hot Buttered Soul” they had called him. He was still handsome in a taupe-colored suit with a burnt-orange dress shirt and designer tie. Margo came in behind him. Strange , Angelica thought. Where was Malik’s fiancée, Antoinette?

Tambourines were clicking and people were clapping their hands as the praise singers led the first part of the service. But Angelica couldn’t keep her eyes off of Margo and Malik. Margo looked well in her white-knit suit with ostrich feathers around the collar. Too much for Angelica on a Sunday morning, but any other day of the week, watch out.

The music was uplifting, but Angelica wasn’t feeling the glory of the Lord. In fact, the good feeling she came with had all but evaporated. Angelica had been there all of thirty minutes, and while she had spotted Margo, no one even knew she was in the sanctuary.

“If you are visiting with us for the first time, will you please stand,” the announcer said.

Angelica looked around her to see if anyone was going to get up. Before she knew what she was doing, Angelica was on her feet.

“I’m happy to be here today, even though I’m no stranger to your church. My name is Angelica Barnes, and I feel blessed to be in your midst,” Angelica lied. “Pray for me.”

Angelica sat down. When she felt brave enough, she looked up into the shocked faces of Malik and Margo. Margo turned away when she realized Angelica was looking her way. Yes, Angelica had surprised Margo good. Margo probably felt guilty for not coming to see her.

The friend Angelica came to see did not come to church. Angelica felt robbed. She needed Margo, but Margo didn’t wave or acknowledge her presence. Margo’s utterance of forgiveness that last time she saw her meant nothing, and the pain stabbed Angelica in the heart. The pastor was in the middle of the sermon that Angelica didn’t hear, and eventually she got up and walked out. Neither her soul nor her longing would be fed today.

Angelica hurried to her car and began to back out.

“Oh,” Angelica said, stepping on the brake. She rolled down the window to see who had walked into her path.

“Hello, Angelica.”

Angelica stared in disbelief. “Malik…I could have hit you.”

“You weren’t going that fast.”

Angelica couldn’t believe this handsome, muscle-bound man stood next to her car calling out her name. She tried to pick her lip off the floor, but those dreamy eyes were to die for.

“I’m glad I didn’t hit you,” was all Angelica could say.

“When did you get back in town?” Malik asked, walking up to the car window.

“Earlier in the week. My brother came down from D.C. to help me get on my feet.”

“So why Third Baptist?”

“I’m desperate to change my life, Malik. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I’m going to do with the rest of it. I want a new start, and I couldn’t think of a better place to be than right here.

“To be honest, Malik, I missed Margo. I missed my friend dearly. I know I’ve caused a lot of heartache and grief, but Margo is the one good thing that has happened in my life. I wanted to be where her spirit was because Margo always had a calming way about her that made me feel safe.”

“It’s good to see you, Angelica,” Margo said. No one saw her come up.

Angelica turned off the car and got out. She tried to speak, but she was having difficulty letting the words come out. Finally, she found her voice.

“It’s good to see you, too, Margo. You’re one of the reasons I came here this morning, and the other is that I need Jesus.”

Margo smiled. “Come here.”

Angelica fell into Margo’s outstretched arms and hugged her. She squeezed Margo and held on tight until Margo pushed back gently.

“I was surprised, no, shocked to see you standing in the sanctuary this morning. It was like déjà vu. Do you remember when we first met at my real estate office? It was that kind of moment.”

“Yes, it was a moment I’ll never forget. I met my best friend there.”

There was a moment of silence.

“I won’t hold you up.”

“Where are you staying?” Margo asked.

“I have a place not too far from here. My brothers sold my house, and I’m using the proceeds to help me get started again. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do. Nobody’s interested in hiring a felon.”

“I’m sure there’s something out there for you,” Malik said, offering nothing more.

Malik was so fine and every woman’s dream, but Angelica felt his disdain for her. She had no idea why he felt as he did, but it no longer mattered. Anyway, the last she heard, Toni was his woman.

“Well, I hope it won’t take long for me to find it. How’s Toni?”

A frown replaced concern. Malik dropped his head and then looked up at Margo for reassurance. He blew air from his mouth and prepared to speak.

“Did I say something wrong?” Angelica asked before Malik could speak.

“You wouldn’t have known. Toni and our unborn baby were killed in a car accident almost a year ago.”

Angelica drew her hands to her mouth. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, Malik. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see her, and…”

“It’s okay, Angelica. When you mentioned Toni’s name, it was like reliving that tragic day all over again. Toni and I got married four years ago, and we were living our lives to the fullest. We were going to have a family,” Malik reflected, “but our dreams…my dreams ended tragically. If it wasn’t for Margo, I don’t know what I would have done; she’s why I joined the church. You said something earlier, Angelica, about Margo having that calming spirit. She was the person I went to in my hour of need.”

“Margo, what would we do without you?” Angelica asked.

Margo smiled. “It’s nothing but God, because if it wasn’t, I can’t begin to tell you where I would be and what I’d be doing.”

Angelica didn’t want to know. This was her cue to leave, and somehow Angelica knew that although she had settled down into her new condo, eventually she would have to lose this town.

“Maybe we can get together sometime,” Angelica said.

“I’d like that,” Margo said. “How about this week?”

Angelica wasn’t sure, but she said yes anyway.

Fresh plants made the condo come alive. It had taken three days to make the place feel like Angelica, and now she sat back and smiled at what her magic had done. Her brothers were coming down for the weekend, and she wanted everything to be in order before they arrived.

Angelica brushed the back of her head and rubbed her neck to release the tension she was feeling. She looked at the phone several times before gathering enough courage to pick it up. She couldn’t bring herself to dial and hung up the phone.