Suzetta Perkins - Déjà Vu

Angelica sat up quickly. She held her chest as she tried to catch her breath. Sweat poured from her face as she tried to shake the image that was so real to her. The man in braids scared her, and suddenly the thought of being in the room by herself made her feel unsafe.

The phone nearly fell as Angelica reached out to grab it. Her hand shook violently, and she clasped the other one over it to calm the shakes. She dialed her brother’s law office and was about to hang up on the fourth ring when she heard a voice say, “Thompson, Smart and Fisher.”

“Yes, is Edward Thompson in? This is his sister, Angelica Barnes.”

“Ohh, ahh, yes, Ms. Barnes. Just a minute.”

Angelica hated waiting, but she had no choice. Before long, she heard a familiar voice at the other end.

“Hey, Sis. You out?”

“Thank you for nothing, Edward.”

“Don’t be that way, Sis.”

“You act as if I murdered someone, chopped their body to pieces, and stuffed it in a refrigerator in someone’s basement.”

“I know it’s not as grim as that but, Angelica, you’ve done some awful things. I get tired of carrying you. You are this great big burden on my shoulder that I need to lighten.”

“Where’s my money? I won’t need you, Edward, once you give me my money. Consider your burden gone… forever !!”

“Look, the money is locked up in trusts.”

“Then write me a check…a cashier’s check. You knew I would be getting out today and would need a place to stay and a little something to get on my feet. But I guess you and Michael call yourselves fixing my behind. I got news for you; Little Sister ain’t playing no games. Give me what is due me, and you two don’t have to worry about me ruining your images that nobody cares about.”

“Come on, Angelica. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. I love you, Sis, and I want what’s best for you.”

“What does that mean, Edward?”

“Look, why don’t you come to D.C. for a while-find yourself?”

“A minute ago, you said I was some kind of burden.”

“That was tactless of me. You still mad because I lost your case?”

“Edward, I did the crime and I served the time. It is water under the bridge now. I’m ready to start fresh-a new beginning. The sins of the past are behind me. I try so hard to be this person everyone would love, but somehow I screw things up. Why couldn’t I have been like you and Michael?”

“Don’t be hard on yourself. Everything’s going to work out fine. I’ll drive down there day after tomorrow, and we’ll get you situated. How’s that sound?”

“Much better than before. I heard you sold my house.”

“It was for the best, Sis. Your money is collecting interest. Your furniture and clothes are in storage. Used some of the money for your court costs.”

“And attorney fees, I’m sure.”

“Pro bono, Little Sis.”

“Yeah, right.” Angelica and Edward laughed. “Thanks, Edward. I love you, too. I was hurt that you and Michael weren’t here, but I feel better now. I’ll be looking for you on Saturday. And tell Michael he can call me.”

“I will. Take care, Sis.”

“You too.”

Angelica placed the phone in the cradle and fell back onto the bed. Things were going to get better. She needed a job and a place to stay. The money that Edward had put away for her from the sale of her house would probably keep her for a year or more, but she wanted to do more with her life, and she wanted respectability. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Angelica peeked from under the comforter at the alarm clock. She stretched her arms and saw the sun beaming through the window. She smiled and sniffed at the freshness of her brand-new condo. Edward had come to town as promised and helped Angelica settle into her own place.

Edward was accommodating. He made sure Angelica’s utilities were turned on, and she had food in the fridge, and later helped place the furniture where she wanted it. Edward did not leave town until he found a suitable car for Angelica to drive-nice, but nothing that would draw attention.

Today was Sunday. Angelica wasn’t sure what she would do. She promised herself that she was going to turn over a new leaf, and she couldn’t think of a better way to start than to go to God’s house. There were so many churches in Fayetteville, but it struck her as what she should do. It was eight o’clock-plenty of time to make it to an eleven o’clock service.

There had only been one color in the one suit that Angelica had worn the past five years-blue. Now she surveyed her closet with excitement. She probably had enough suits to go around for all the women in her prison quad two or three times. Angelica tugged at each suit, lifting each hanger to get a good look until she settled on the one she would wear to church. She decided on the white suit. It was first Sunday and, more than likely, all the women would be dressed in white. Looking through the two hundred pairs of shoes that were held captive in their boxes, Angelica decided on a three-inch white Italian leather pump to accompany the rest of her ensemble.

Next, Angelica walked into the master bathroom. The room was painted a deep rich, mango orange that was soothing to the soul. It lacked in decorations, which she would attend to next week. Angelica was thankful that she wasn’t on the street or in some motel passing the time.

Angelica let her robe slide down the length of her arms, stealing glances of herself in a large mirror. She smiled at her image, patted her buttocks, and cupped her breasts as if she was on display. Satisfied, Angelica eased into her bathwater that filled the tub to the brim with foaming bubbles, and then stopped to pick up a few and blow them into the air.

With one leg raised, Angelica took her sponge and squeezed water over her legs and arms, admiring the legs most men thought were beautiful. She flexed her toes and then brought her leg down, only to repeat the sequence with the other. Tina Turner had a nice pair of legs, but Angelica’s were to die for-insured value easily one million dollars. Angelica relaxed in the water, letting the jets in the tub massage the lower part of her body.

It would be nice to have a strong pair of hands to massage all the places I can’t get to, Angelica thought. Angelica and Hamilton had often taken baths together-him scrubbing her back while they relaxed and talked about what made their world revolve. The feel of a man’s hands would take away some of the tension and maybe chase her blues away. It had been too long since strong arms held her close, although Ms. Macy tried, but Angelica would have gone to death row before she allowed Ms. Macy to touch her the way she had touched the other women in Dorm L. Angelica was lonely, and she needed her best friend.

Bath over, Angelica hurriedly dressed, checking herself once-no, twice-to make sure her hair was in place and that her make-up complemented her almond-shaped, hazel eyes and blended well into her caramel-colored skin. Angelica used warm, cool colors that made her look as if she was chiseled out of the earth. She looked radiant, and her medium-sized lips gave the mirror a parting smile.

It was a gorgeous day. Angelica slipped on her sunglasses and raced to her car, an apple-green Nissan Altima, and hopped in, excited about the prospect of seeing her friend Margo. What if Margo rejected her? Surely not in the House of the Lord. Bouts of doubt began to cloud Angelica’s mind, but she was determined to see her. No one could soothe a broken heart like Margo.

She and Margo had shared many wonderful moments together. Quiet as it was kept, there were moments that Angelica kept hidden from her best friend, a time in history when Angelica’s self-loathing heart had cajoled her into seducing her best friend’s husband. And there were other moments that she was not proud of-moments that led her to where she was today. Angelica drove on.