M Sellars - The End Of Desire

She shook her head and sighed then pulled the phone away and thumbed it off.

“She hung up,” she said as she placed the handset back onto the table. “Apparently she didn’t buy it.”

“The accent,” Ben offered. “Five’ll get ya’ ten Lewis mentioned it at some point.”

“You’re probably right,” she agreed. “And, then she picked it up from the answering machine too, so there’s no way around it.”

“You’d best let me answer it the next time, then,” Felicity interjected.

“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that,” I said.

“Aye, and I don’t know if I’m comfortable with her still being out there,” she spat. “It’s me she’s after. I just want it over.”

“I understand that, honey, but with the state you’re in, I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to talk to her.”

“And what state is that?” she demanded.

“You’re distraught… Understandably so… And, getting on the phone with her is just going to make it worse.”

“Rowan’s right, Felicity,” Constance added, stepping back toward the rest of us. “Talking to Devereaux isn’t going to be easy.”

“Damnu! ” my wife snapped. “I don’t care! I just want this over! Now!”

“Calm down, honey,” I said, trying to soothe her.

“Calm down? Don’t you tell me to calm down!”

“Felicity,” Ben started. “We’re just tryin’ ta’ protect you.”

“Well stop it! I don’t want you to protect me!”

Before any of us could respond, the telephone trilled again. Felicity twisted away from me and darted forward, shouldering past Constance as she began to turn. In an instant my wife snatched the handset from the table and had it pressed against the side of her head.

“Hello!” she spat, her tone nothing short of a demand.

All three of us started toward her, but she slipped around to the opposite side of the table, effectively placing it between her and us. We could have easily scrambled around after her, but at this point it didn’t matter. The damage was already done.

She barked into the phone, “Yes, this is she, you saigh… No, it’s Gaelic and it means bitch. Well, I don’t speak French either, but I know bitch when I hear it…”

Having no other recourse, Constance waved to get Felicity’s attention. Once she had it, she pointed to her watch and mouthed, “Keep her talking.”

My wife gave her a curt nod, but the hard frown never left her face, even as she continued to speak, “No. That was my assistant. She has a tendency to be overprotective… Yes, I did get them. They were a lovely thought, but the police wouldn’t let me keep them.”

Constance was keeping her eyes fixed on Felicity, but she had stepped back into the living room and was whispering into her cell phone.

“Aye, what’s wrong?” my wife asked. “Not getting the reaction you wanted?… Did you really think a little blood was going to bother me? I’m afraid you’re going to have to try harder, then…”

I had once been right where my wife was now. On a phone talking to a serial killer-one that wanted me dead more than anything-so, I knew the drill all too well. Unfortunately, my wife wasn’t following it. But, of course, neither had I.

Even so, I had at least tried to keep my emotions in check. However, what I heard coming from Felicity at this moment was a darkness so black that it made me fear each coming word.

“Why would I care?” she spat. “I was done with him. Besides, he deserved it, didn’t he?… You said so yourself. He shouldn’t have called you Felicity… That had to hurt. Him worshipping me and not you… Really? It’s too bad you feel that way. Why not? Maybe she’s tired of you, did you ever think of that?… Maybe you just aren’t worthy of her… Maybe you’re just all used up and that’s why she wants me… What makes you think you can stop her? Really? I’d like to see you try… Is that so? Well, you know where I am. Come and get me… Hello? Hello?…”

Felicity allowed the phone to slowly drop down from her ear then switched it off.

“She hung up,” she muttered.

“The call was coming from a prepaid cell phone,” Constance announced. “They pulled a grid location but didn’t get an exact pinpoint. There are units responding to the area right now. Don’t worry, you did fine, Felicity. We’ll find her.”

My wife laid the handset on the table then pulled out a chair and slowly lowered herself into it. I watched as the hard expression on her face began to ease then melt away. She stared across the table at me for a moment, until finally there was nothing more than blankness and a vacant stare in her eyes.

“Honey…” I began.

Before I could get the rest of the sentence out of my mouth, a tear began rolling down her cheek and her lower lip started to quiver as her body trembled. By the time I got around the table to her, she was sobbing in violent heaves.

Across the room I heard Ben say to Constance, “I’m callin’ Helen.”

“Anything?” I asked as Constance walked into the kitchen and laid her cell phone on the island with a disgusted sigh.

She shook her head and frowned. “No. Not a thing. They’ve searched the area, out through a ten block radius. They’re still working it but nothing yet. She turned the cell off almost as soon as she hung up, so we can’t even track a signal.”

“So, we wait,” I said.

“And, we keep looking,” she agreed. “Remember, she’s definitely agitated, so she’s far more likely to make a mistake now than if she was calm and calculating. That’s a good thing for us.”

“She’s been making mistakes for a while now,” I added as I turned back to fill the coffeemaker and start a fresh pot.

“Yes, she has. Just not the kind we need her to make.”

I finished filling the reservoir then slid the carafe in and flipped the switch. Instead of turning around to face Constance, however, I simply leaned against the counter and allowed my head to hang. The chronic thud in the back of my skull was drumming along in unison with my heartbeat, and on top of that, my temples were throbbing with the muddied pains of exhaustion.

I glanced to the side and settled my eyes on the bottle of aspirin that was still sitting on the counter where I had left it days before. I had tried repeatedly to self-medicate with other over the counter pain relievers, following their directions to the letter, but plain old aspirin was the only thing that ever seemed to help. Giving up, I reached for the bottle and popped it open. Instead of my normal handful, however, I limited the dose to four tablets. Whether or not that would be enough to even touch the pain, I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t need to get back into the habit of poisoning myself.

I popped the pills into my mouth then quickly washed them down with a swig of my cold coffee. Setting the cup aside, I continued to rest against the counter, eyes closed and chin against my chest.

After a moment, Constance quietly asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Headache.”

“That’s not unusual for you, I don’t guess.”

“Yeah. Lucky me.”

“Is Felicity still on the phone with Helen?”

“She was when I checked a few minutes ago,” I acknowledged, pushing away from the counter ledge and turning, then leaning my back against it. “It’s been over an hour now. But, at least it seems to be helping her.”

“Good,” she said as she slid onto one of the barstools near the island. “I really hated seeing Felicity like that.”

“You and me both.”

“By the way, Ben is out on the front porch having a cigar. He said to let you know in case you wanted to join him.”