M Sellars - The End Of Desire

In reality, I knew he was correct. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that Felicity hadn’t simply climbed in her Jeep and left of her own accord. But, even if that was fact, something still didn’t feel right about it.

“Shouldn’t we be out looking for her?” I asked, surprising myself at how even my voice was remaining.

“We can if ya’ want,” he replied. “You got an idea where ta’ start?”

I shook my head. “No. Not really.”

“Okay,” he replied then waited a measured beat before continuing. “Lemme ask ya’ somethin’… You absolutely sure the hocus-pocus with the doll worked?”

I turned to face him. “Yeah, why?”

“Just askin’.”

I thought about what he’d asked, and my muddied brain managed to match up the pieces. With an obvious accusatory tone infecting my voice, I spat, “You think she might be heading for that bondage club again, don’t you?”

“Calm down, White Man. I was just askin’,” he replied.

“I broke that connection,” I continued, intent on making sure he understood. “Miranda isn’t able to use her as a horse any longer.”

“Okay, so what if Annalise did somethin’? Maybe that thing with the candle. Didn’t ya’ say you thought that’s why Miranda brought ‘er back here?”

“I don’t even want to entertain that thought.”

“But, didn’ t you…”

“No,” I spat. “Don’t even go there.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Okay. I was just askin’.”

I’m not sure if I was being so insistent for his benefit or my own because whether I wanted to admit it or not, the very same thought had already crossed my mind. My friend had simply been the first to vocalize it.

“Actually, there’s something else that worries me,” I finally said.

“What’s that?”

“Shamus.”

“Firehair’s dad? What about ‘im?”

“When Felicity first got arrested, he blamed me. During one of his calls to berate me, he said he had made arrangements to have her deprogrammed once she was out of jail.”

“Yeah, I remember you sayin’ that. But, I thought I remembered somethin’ about your mother-in-law sayin’ she’d put the kibosh on that?”

“That’s what she said, but I still try not to underestimate Shamus.”

He shook his head. “But there’s nothing here to indicate she was abducted, Row.”

“Maybe he set it up differently,” I speculated. “Maybe he called her and she went over to their house and he had them waiting for her.”

“With their black helicopter?”

“Dammit, Ben, don’t make jokes!” I snapped.

“Look, I’m sorry, but you’re soundin’ like one of those conspiracy nuts. Besides, your father-in-law didn’t call ‘er.”

“How do you know?”

“‘Cause there’s nothin’ on your caller ID since well before we left the house, and the only incomin’ call on ‘er cell for the past two days is the one you just made a little while ago.”

“You checked that?”

“I’m a cop, Row. Remember? It’s what I do.”

“What about…”

He interrupted before I could get the question out of my mouth. “Yeah, I checked ‘er business line, and yours too. No calls from Dad. But, if it’ll make ya’ feel better, I can call and have a unit go by to check.”

“No…” I said after a moment. “Probably not. Not yet, anyway. If I’m wrong then that will just stir up a big mess all over again.”

“I agree… and yeah, you’re wrong.”

“I just don’t get it, Ben. Why would she leave? After everything that’s happened. After what showed up here. She knows it isn’t safe.”

“We’re talkin’ about Firehair here. You wanna ask that question again or think about it first?”

“I guess you’re right,” I mumbled then looked back toward the storm door. The condensation had obscured the view once again. “I suppose we’re going to look like idiots when she rolls back into the driveway with groceries or something.”

“Yes and no,” my friend replied with a sideways bob of his head. “When it turns out ta’ be nothin’, yeah, it might look like an overreaction on the surface; but, under the circumstances, this is all warranted. Besides, ain’t a copper I know of who wouldn’t rather have a call turn out ta’ be nothin’, rather than somethin’. Believe me, we live for that shit.”

Ben’s cell began trilling in his pocket, so he dug it out and answered it.

“Yeah, Storm… Uh-huh… Yeah… Where? North or south? Okay, any sign of ‘er? Okay. How’s it look? Yeah. That’s good. Okay. Thanks.”

I was talking before he had even managed to switch the device off. “What? What is it?”

“Firehair’s Jeep is sittin’ on the north lot at the Galleria. Call just came in.”

“That’s less than a mile from here.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Is she…”

“All they found is the Jeep, Row, but it’s parked and locked. No sign of any foul play. Like I said earlier, she’s probably inside shoppin’. They’re gonna page ‘er. C’mon, grab your coat and we’ll go over there.”

The drive was short; still, with traffic it took us a handful of minutes before we pulled off the main drag into the entrance of the large indoor mall. Ben turned early and aimed his van across the less crowded portion of the front parking lot before cutting over toward the far side of the shopping center.

As we rounded the corner and entered the north lot, I spotted Felicity’s Jeep parked at the far end of the first row. Angled in behind it were a Briarwood Police cruiser and a mall security vehicle. As we continued up the aisle, I could see two uniformed officers standing next to the Jeep chatting with a petite woman who was gesturing toward the side entrance.

My heart skipped a beat before starting to race yet again because, other than her small stature, she looked nothing like my wife.

“Why did you do this?” I asked, confusion in my voice.

“I already told you,” my wife replied.

“Tell me again.”

“Because, I don’t want to look like her.”

I simply stared at her across the kitchen, unsure of what else to say. As it turned out, I had been mistaken. The woman talking with the two officers on the mall parking lot was, in fact, Felicity. In my defense, however, I had a valid reason for not recognizing her at a distance. The truth is, I even had a reasonable excuse for doing a double take when I got out of the van less that twenty feet away from her.

“I still can’t believe you had the police looking for me,” she countered.

“Why not?” I asked. “After what happened today? Not to mention that you told me you were going to lock the door and finish packing, but then I come home and you’re gone. What kind of reaction did you expect?”

“Aye, you have a point. I suppose I should have left you a note.”

“You shouldn’t have gone out to begin with.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“Maybe I am, but I think maybe you’re under reacting.”

She simply shrugged and continued to look at me with her head cocked to the side, a mildly curious look in her eyes. I don’t suppose I could blame her. I was still staring at her, just as I had been for several minutes. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had blinked.

“It will grow back, Rowan,” Felicity announced after a moment then leaned back against the counter and folded her arms across her chest. “Really, it will.”

“Yeah, I know,” I replied. “But… I don’t know…”

Her cascading tresses, which once reached down to her waist, now came to a blunt end just below her shoulders. While there was still a good bit of body to them in the form of a rippling wave, the loosely spiraling curls were all but gone as well. However, radical as those changes were, even they paled in comparison to the fact that her color had gone from fiery red to inky black.