Mike Mullin - Ashfall

I unclipped my skis, slid my pack off my back, and leaned against a tree to eat. Lunch was a can of Dinty Moore beef stew, cold of course. Disgusting, normally, but I was so hungry I barely noticed. I drank a bottle of water with my stew.

The creek was so choked with ash that I couldn’t see any water. But the ash was flowing, so there must have been water there, and I was worried about running out. I worked my way down to the water’s edge, slipped in the ash and nearly went swimming. I found a sapling and held onto its trunk while I dipped my bottle into the sludge.

In my bottle, the water was grey-brown and opaque. It looked utterly undrinkable. I sniffed-it reeked of sulfur. I touched my tongue to it experimentally and immediately spit it out. The rotten-egg taste was overpowering, plus the water left a grainy texture on my tongue. I dumped out the sludge, packed the empty bottle, and resolved to drink less.

By late afternoon, the ash had pretty much dried out. Pushing the skis through it got tougher-they ground against the ash instead of sliding. I unclipped my boots and tried walking. In some places, the ash had dried into a fairly compact surface that wasn’t too bad to hike on. In others, ash was blowing and collecting in drifts. There, my feet sank quickly in the fine, dusty ash, and pulling them free was difficult. I put the skis back on.

The scrap of T-shirt tied around my mouth and nose kept drying out. When it got dry, the tiny ash particles came through it, coating the inside of my mouth with nasty-tasting sludge and bringing on coughing fits. I remembered coughing blood at my house after breathing ash, and so I used more of my precious water to keep my breathing rag damp.

When the dark day started to fade to full night, I began looking for a place to sleep. Before the eruption, when I’d driven around Iowa with my parents, there was almost always a farmhouse in sight. Skiing through the darkness of the ashfall, I felt as if it were as deserted as Death Valley. I grew more and more worried about finding a place to sleep that night.

At full dark, I gave up looking for shelter and skied off the road into a cornfield. I don’t know why I left the road; there hadn’t been any traffic. I could have slept safely on the centerline. I shrugged off my pack.

A solitary stalk of corn coated in ash stood next to me. I broke off an ear, peeled back the husk, and tried to bite it. The kernels were small and hard. I almost broke a tooth gnawing a couple off the cob. I couldn’t chew them, so I swallowed them whole instead. I tossed the rest of the ear away. I guessed this corn wasn’t the kind meant for people. Growing up in Iowa, maybe I should have known more about corn. But while there was a lot of corn in Iowa, there were also lots of people who didn’t know anything about it, like me.

For dinner, I ate chicken soup, cold and straight from the can. Tendrils of grease floated in the soup. They felt slimy sliding down my throat, but I was hungry enough that I didn’t care. I drank another bottle of water, too. At this rate, I’d run out in the morning. At least my pack was getting lighter.

I slept wrapped in my plastic tarp with my pack as a pillow. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable bed, but the day of skiing had worn me out, and I fell asleep quickly.

I dreamed about Laura. The first dream was just weird, not particularly embarrassing. (The embarrassing one was stupid. Black lace under that long denim skirt? I doubted it.)

In the first dream, some guy was hauling Laura up into the sky by one hand, through the ashfall. He was nobody I’d ever seen before: a short black guy with a strange expression on his face. Looking at him in my dream, I felt calm and peaceful for the first time in days.

So he was towing Laura up into the sky, and she reached into her purse and started pulling out Snickers bars and tossing them down to me. She was throwing them gently, like she was tossing me a gift, but I couldn’t catch them and they kept hitting me: little missiles raining down and thwacking me on the head. Actually, thinking about them again, the first dream totally sucked. The second one was much better.

I felt awful the next morning. My breathing cloth had dried out in the night, so I woke with a nasty cough. The inside of my mouth was caked with ash. I pulled the rag off my face and inspected it for blood. I didn’t see any, which was a huge relief, although it was really too dark to be sure. I rewet my breathing rag and used a little more water to rinse my mouth. I drank the rest of the bottle. One bottle left. I had to find water today.

A thin layer of ash had settled on everything overnight. Ash had worked its way into my eyelids, armpits, and even my crotch. It rubbed as I moved, abrasive and gritty. I itched in at least a dozen places, because of dry skin or maybe something to do with the ash itself. I thought about changing clothes-I hadn’t worn the fresh shirt and underwear in my pack. But changing my clothing in an ash-covered field during an ashfall probably wouldn’t help much.

The ashfall seemed less intense than the day before. Lightning regularly cracked the sky, but the intervals were longer, and judging by the thunder, it was usually farther off.

I’d been skiing an hour or so when the road came to a T. I turned right, figuring if I went south I’d hit Highway 20 sooner or later. But I didn’t see 20, and mostly I needed to go east, so I turned left as soon as I reached another intersection.

By lunchtime, I was getting desperate to find water. I’d crossed two tiny creeks, but the water was fouled with ash. I wet my breathing rag again, using the tiniest amount of water I could, and then drank two swigs. I had half a bottle left.

A couple hours after lunch, I saw a farmstead alongside the road on my left and turned toward it. The farm consisted of three buildings: a two-story white house with a steep roof, a large barn with a little red paint visible under its coating of ash, and a low, flat-roofed shed that had mostly collapsed.

The place looked deserted. But that was true of every farm I’d seen so far. The only hint of a driveway was a mailbox sticking out of the ash about a foot and a half. There was a chain-link fence around the house, but the ash was so deep that only a foot of it protruded. I sidestepped over the fence and slid to the door.

Ash had drifted across the small front porch and lay deep enough against the screen door that I couldn’t pull it open. I banged on it and yelled. No answer. I skied around the house to a side door. It was locked. More banging and yelling accomplished nothing. I left the yard, stepping over the chain-link fence and skied to the barn. Its doors were padlocked shut.

Perhaps I should have broken into that house-there might have been water there. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. For one thing, it didn’t feel right to mess up someone’s house even though I needed the water. For another, I was worried about what I might find inside. There must have been a reason that place was vacant-what if the owners were inside the house, dead or something?

A few hours later, I was cussing myself as an idiot for not breaking into that house. My water was gone. I’d used the last bit of it to wet my breathing rag over an hour before. It was starting to dry, letting nasty dust through the weave and into my mouth and lungs. If that farmhouse had reappeared in front of me at that moment, I would have rammed my staff through a window and climbed right in.

Not long after I’d had that thought, I saw another farmstead to my right, looming in the darkness. I picked up my pace and headed straight for it.

As I approached, I could tell that this farm was occupied or had been recently. The first clue was a smell-wood smoke and a hint of meat under the omnipresent stench of sulfur. The farmstead consisted of five buildings: a house and barn nearly identical to the last place and three outbuildings, two of them collapsed.