James Siegel - Deceit

“Yeah, I think getting shot is serious business. Don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Great. We agree.”

“So, what’s going on?”

“Maybe you can tell me, Lucas.”

I looked over at Hinch-for support, acknowledgment, a clue-but he seemed both there and not there. I turned back to the sheriff.

“I don’t understand. I told you everything I know.”

“Everything you know, huh?” He didn’t sound very convinced. He sounded pretty much the way he did the day I met him, when he rolled down his side window and said: liar, liar, pants on fire.

“What exactly do you want to know that you think I haven’t told you?”

“Well, now that you mention it. We don’t have the actual lab report on the bullet. Not yet, of course-but our resident ballistics expert is pretty sure he knows the gun it was fired from.”

“Great. Who’s your resident ballistics expert?”

“That would be me. It’s a small town, Lucas. We’ve got to multitask. If I had to guess-I’d say it was a Smith amp; Wesson. A.38.”

It took me a second to understand why that sounded terribly familiar and to understand that Sheriff Swenson knew it would.

“I went to Teddy’s,” he continued. “I asked him if he’d sold any.38s lately, and guess what? He said no. At first. Then he changed his story. It turns out he did sell a.38. Only the person he sold it to wasn’t legally able to own one. He’d served probation. But you know how Teddy is with federal gun laws.”

I felt Hinch turning to stare at me.

“Yeah, okay. I bought a gun. I was worried someone was following me. Apparently for good reason.”

“Uh-huh. I might want to ask to see that gun. I might want to ask if you’d mind if I drove home with you and got it. Of course, you could say no.”

“What are you suggesting, sheriff? That I shot at myself ? That I nearly killed my intern?”

“Now that would sound like one of your stories. That would be pretty unbelievable. All the same, I’d like to take a look at the gun. If you wouldn’t mind.”

I was going to expound on my rights as a citizen.

Go get a warrant , I was going to say.

“I think we should let the sheriff have the gun.” Hinch, finally making his presence felt.

He’d used a reassuring we : reporter and editor in it together, side by side, thick and thin, shoulders against the wheel of official meddling. Only he’d sided with the official.

“Sure,” I said, blushing. “Fine. No problem.”

“Thanks, Lucas,” Swenson said. “One other thing. I called that number you gave me. For Sam Savage . It’s no longer in service. The play you mentioned has closed. And the girlfriend- Trudy ? She says she has no idea who I’m talking about.”

Okay, it felt all too familiar. I was back in New York. I was frantically shoveling manure as they wrinkled their noses at the smell. Only this time I was bona fide; I was legit.

Legitimacy isn’t about being, Tom. You either are or you’re aren’t.

“Look, I told Sam that the person who’d hired him might not like the fact he’s walking around anymore. He’s hiding somewhere. His girlfriend’s protecting him. I’d do the same thing.”

“You would, huh?”

“I’m not a perp, Sheriff. I’m a reporter. I went out to cover that accident on 45. Me. Remember? You were there. Both people involved in that crash were someone else. Isn’t that funny.” I half-turned to Hinch so that I was speaking to both of them-letting Hinch in on what I’d been up to, something, okay, I should’ve done before. “Ed Crannell’s fiction-he’s a fucking actor. Dennis Flaherty’s alive and well and doing antipsychotics in Iowa.”

“So you say,” Swenson said.

“Go ahead, find an Ed Crannell in Cleveland. Good luck; I tried. Then get hold of a playbill for that show. The Pier . Sam Savage-second lead-you’ll see his picture there. And then tell me how I shot at myself.”

“I told you. I don’t think you shot at yourself. You weren’t holding the gun, were you? Of course you could’ve given it to someone else to shoot at you. Maybe he fucked up and hit the kid.”

“Why on earth would I do something like that? Why would I want someone to shoot me ? That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah. Like making up fifty-six stories in the newspaper. What did your shrink think about that?”

I was waiting for Hinch to jump in and support this reporter the way an editor’s supposed to, to tell the sheriff that he wouldn’t stand for this interrogation. That he’d refuse to sit idly by while one of his reporters was being accused of laughable things and that we were both going to stand up and walk out of there.

There was deafening silence from his side of the room.

“The guy jumped me,” I said. “In my own basement. Remember? I came in here to make a report and you said he was breaking into homes with a plumber’s kit. So it wasn’t just me getting burglarized, was it?”

“Breaking and entering’s one thing,” the sheriff said. “This other stuff… faking an accident… hiring actors … and I’m not even going to get into all that other stuff…”

I gave it a shot. I looked directly at Hinch.

“I should’ve told you about some of this, Hinch, but I wanted to put it together first. I know it sounds a little out there, so I wanted to make sure I had it right-”

“Let’s go get the gun, Tom,” he said softly. “Let’s all ride together to your house and get the sheriff the gun, okay?”

Okay.

I’ll admit right now that neither of them looked very surprised when after we all drove back to my rented house-Hinch and I in one car, the sheriff behind us in another-after the sheriff followed me upstairs and watched as I opened my bed-table drawer and stared dumbly at the spot where my gun should’ve been, after I ransacked that drawer and then the one below it, then rifled through my dresser, every one of my kitchen cabinets, my bathroom, my entire basement and every inch of my office, that the gun wasn’t there.

It was gone.

Hinch told me it might be a good idea if I took some time off.

He assured me that this wasn’t in any way, shape, or form a suspension.

No.

It’s just that with the Nate shooting investigation pending and the sheriff’s suspicions about me-unfounded as they might be, though it would be kind of nice to know where the gun was-and with Mary-Beth willing to take up the slack, it made sense. Look at it this way , he told me. If you’re right, you got a crazy shooter looking for you. Probably a good idea to keep him away from the office.

Of course it was a suspension. I knew a suspension when I saw one.

I didn’t know what Hinch believed, but I knew whom he didn’t.

It was the gun.

The plumber must’ve stolen it, I told them-it was obvious. He’d broken into my house the day I’d caught him red-handed. Then I’d caught him trying to do it again . He must’ve gone back a third time.

No one looked convinced.

I started to tell Hinch the rest.

Halfway through the first sentence, I stopped. I had to. He had the same expression as the sheriff. The same expression as the editor I’d hung out to dry. There were too many echoes of stories past. It sounded only slightly less fantastic than it did before. The actors, the bomb-throwing MD feeding me anagrams in a ruined town, even that American soldier of fortune spraying his AK-47 all over Afghanistan.

Ask yourself. What did I have? Really?

I needed to do it by the book. Buttoned up, double-sourced, fact checked, and stamped with the Good Reporting Seal of Approval.