William Bernhardt - Capitol offence

"Hey, do I get in on this celebration?" Christina was standing on her tiptoes, trying to break into the circle.

"If you insist." Ben turned around and gave her a big hug.

"I always have to beg for it." She hugged him back. "Way to go, slugger. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, my dear."

"But if you think this means I'm going easy on you tonight on the Scrabble board…"

"Don't be ridiculous." He wrapped an arm around both his wife and his client. "Dennis, how long has it been since you had a really good New York-style pizza?"

"Ben, I've been in prison."

"Right. Well, as it happens, Mario's is still open…"

Ben probably should have stayed home. It always took at least a day to recover from a major trial. Or even a minor one. To transition from having one event totally subsume your life to reintegrating everything that used to be important was not something that could happen in a day. He knew many attorneys who got on a plane and disappeared for at least a week after a trial. Granted, the actual trial had ended some months ago, but Ben had been just as obsessed in the following months as he had been when he was going to the courtroom every day.

Christina was ready to get out of town. He knew that. She was still reminding him that they had never actually gone on that honeymoon he'd promised.

Maybe later. For now, he needed to catch up. Hadn't had lunch at Goldie's for a while. Or played the piano. Worked the Sunday Times crossword. And if he just spent more time studying those Q-without-U words, he was sure he could finally beat Christina…

There was a knock on his office door.

"Loving!"

Ben jumped up and ran to greet him. He had only seen him a few times since Mike and the rest of the police officers rescued him from Shaw and his thugs. Loving had asked for a leave of absence and taken some time off.

"How are you?"

"I'm… tryin' to get myself together."

"Still feeling a little shaky?"

Loving paused a moment, as if struggling to come up with the right words. Ben knew he was not typically a garrulous sort, especially when it came to anything as squishy as his personal feelings. "Yeah. It's hard."

"I don't doubt it."

"I totally cracked up out there," he said. "I cracked like a… a… cracker."

"Oh, you did not."

"You weren't there, Skipper. I did."

"Mike told me he was very impressed by your fortitude."

"He was bein' nice. I lost it. Hallucinated."

"The sun was hot-"

"Thought I was at death's door. And I hadn't even been out that long. It was all in my mind."

"You'd been knocked on the head. Given a drug. They had you for three days."

"I don't even remember that. But I sure remember what happened when I woke up. I was a basket case. Loserville." Loving shook his head. It was an amazing thing, seeing this gruff barrel-chested man talk in such an introspective, emotional manner. "I've been through a lot in the last few years-most of it thanks to you. Embarrassment. Beatings. Even torture. None of that was fun. But when that guy poured the cesium on my chest, I went to pieces."

"Anyone would, Loving."

"No, not like that. I–I think I've been hidin' somethin'. For too long. Somethin' knocks me down and I get right back up, like I'm one of those inflatable toys you hit but they swing right back up at you. I'm not an inflatable toy!"

"I know that, Loving."

"And this time, I'm not bouncin' back up again. I need some time."

"Take all the time you need. Please."

He took a deep breath. "I'm goin' to Colorado. To the Shambhala Meditation Center. Where Joslyn Thomas went." He looked at Ben squarely. "I'm gonna learn to meditate."

Ben resisted asking if this was Christina's idea. He already knew the answer. "You?"

"I wanna find some peace of mind."

"Well… we all do."

"I'm on a journey. And this breakdown has shown me there's some stuff inside me that I haven't gotten in touch with. I wanna know the real me. I wanna understand my life purpose."

"I thought it was, you know. Working with me."

Loving gave him a long look. "I've been driven by fear. How else do you explain what happened to me? How else do you explain all those crazy conspiracy theories I've been chasin' all these years? I've been readin' this book." He pulled it out of his back pocket. "How Not to Be Afraid of Your Life. Written by this gal who practices Buddhist meditation. She's really smart. Look at her picture on the cover. See how happy she is? She's runnin' the retreat."

"Sounds splendid."

"So that's why I'm here. I have something I want to ask you."

"Like I said, take all the time you need."

"Would you come with me?"

Ben's lips parted. "Me? At that… retreat thingie?"

Loving gripped him firmly by the shoulders. "I think it would be good for you, Skipper."

"Well… no doubt…"

"Seriously. You think I don't know you've got issues?"

"Excuse me?"

"Skipper, I'm only sayin' this 'cause I love you."

"You do?"

"You're one big ball of neurosis and insecurity. You always have been. You worry all the time. You're lonely even though you've got great friends, a great wife. You're dissatisfied even though you're doin' great work, got a great job, helpin' other people. You've got the whole world in the palm of your hands, but you don't know it."

"Do tell…"

"Sure, Christina keeps you from going totally off the deep end-"

"Does she now?"

"— but even she can't do it forever all by herself. Skipper, your friends love you. We don't wanna see you have a total meltdown. End up in the nuthouse or dead in a ditch."

"We have that in common."

"So whaddaya say?" He squeezed Ben's arms even tighter. "Come with me. Let's make the journey to inner peace together."

"Loving…"

"Are you gonna claim you already found peace of mind? 'Cause you're about the least peace-of-mind person I know."

Ben gave him a piercing look. "I appreciate your concern. But it's not for me. I hope it works well for you."

Loving looked as if Ben had just run over his cat. "Are you sure, Skipper?"

"I'm sure."

"Nothin' I can do to change your mind?"

"Absolutely nothing." He opened the door and let Loving out. "Best to the Buddha." And closed the door behind him.

Not ten minutes later, Ben was interrupted by another knock at his office door.

"Loving, I don't need no more dharma."

"Ben?"

He looked up. Dennis Thomas was poking his head through the door. "Have you got a moment?"

"Of course I do." Ben showed him to the chair opposite his desk. "How's life on the outside?"

Dennis grinned. "A lot better than life on the inside. That's for darn sure. I'm very excited about my future."

"Well, that's two of you."

"Huh?"

Ben smiled. "Loving is going on a meditation retreat. He wanted me to go. But obviously, I declined."

"I'm not surprised."

"I'm glad to hear that you don't think I've got issues."

"I didn't say that. I just said I'm not surprised you're not going."

Oh. "What can I do for you, Dennis?"

"I wanted to give you a gift."

Ben held out his hands. "That's not necessary."

"Please. As little as you charged me, it's the least I can do." He reached into his sidebag and handed Ben a big blue book. "I hope you'll like it."

Ben stared at the cover. Autobiography of a Yogi, by Paramhansa Yogananda. It's like an epidemic around here…

"I gather this has something to do with meditation?"

"The Yogananda was one of the great spiritual guides of the twentieth century," Dennis answered. "Joslyn loved him. Read everything he wrote."

"Well, I'm sure it's a fine book, but you know, I'm an Episcopalian…"

"Buddhism is a philosophy, not a religion. And the Yogananda wasn't Buddhist. He was spiritual, not religious."