Aron Ralston - Between a Rock and a Hard Place

I rest, and then I surge again against the rock. Again nothing. I re-plant my feet. Feeling around for a better grip on the bottom of the chockstone, I reposition my upturned left hand on a handle of rock, take a deep breath, and slam into the boulder, harder than any of my previous attempts. “Yeearrgg…unnnhhh,” the exertion forces the air from my lungs, all but masking the quiet, hollow sound of the boulder tottering. The stone’s movement is imperceptible; all I get is a spike in the already extravagant pain, and I gasp, “Ow! Fuck!”

I’ve shifted the boulder a fraction of an inch, and it’s settled onto my wrist a bit more. This thing weighs a lot more than I do-it’s a testament to how amped I am that I moved it at all-and now all I want is to move it back. I get into position again, pulling with my left hand on top of the stone, and budge the rock back ever so slightly, reversing what I just did. The pain eases a little. In the process, I’ve lacerated and bruised the skin over my left quadriceps above the knee. I’m sweating hard. With my left hand, I lift my right shirtsleeve off my shoulder and wipe my forehead. My chest heaves. I need a drink, but when I suck on my hydration-system hose, I find my water reservoir is empty.

I have a liter of water in a Lexan bottle in my backpack, but it takes me a few seconds to realize I won’t be able to sling my pack off my right arm. I remove my camera from my neck and put it on the boulder. Once I have my left arm free of the pack strap, I expand the right strap, tuck my head inside the loop, and pull the strap over my left shoulder so it encompasses my torso. The weight of the rappelling equipment, video camera, and water bottle tugs the pack down to my feet, and then I step out of the strap loop. Extracting the dark gray water bottle from the bottom of my pack, I unscrew the top, and before I realize the significance of what I’m doing, I gulp three large mouthfuls of water and halt to pant for breath. Then it hits me: In five seconds, I’ve guzzled a third of my entire remaining water supply.

“Oh, damn, dude, cap that and put it away. No more water.” I screw down the lid tight, drop the bottle into the pack resting at my knees, and take three deep breaths.

“OK, time to relax. The adrenaline’s not going to get you out of here. Let’s look this over, see what we got.” Amazingly, it’s been half an hour since the accident. The decision to get objective with my situation and stop rushing from one brutish attempt to the next allows my energy to settle down. This isn’t going to be over quickly, so I need to start thinking. To do that, I need to be calm.

The first thing I decide to do is examine the area where the boulder has my wrist pinned. Gravity and friction have wedged the chockstone, now suspended about four feet above the canyon floor, into a new set of constriction points. At three spots, the opposing walls secure the rock. On the downcanyon side of the boulder, my hand and wrist form a fourth support where they are caught in the grip of this horrific handshake. I think, “My hand isn’t just stuck in there, it’s actually holding this boulder off the wall. Oh, man, I’m fucked.”

I reach my left fingers down to my right hand where it is visible along the north wall of the canyon. Poking down into the small gap above the catch point, I touch my thumb, which is already a sickly gray color. It’s cocked sideways in the space and looks terribly unnatural. I straighten my thumb with the fore and middle fingers of my left hand. There is no feeling in any part of my right hand at all. I accept this with a sense of detachment, as if I’m diagnosing someone else’s problem. This clinical objectivity calms me. Without sensation, it doesn’t seem as much my hand-if it were my hand, I could feel it when I touched it. The farthest part of my arm I can feel is my wrist, where the boulder is pinning it. Judging by appearances, the lack of any bone-splitting noises during the accident, and how it all feels to my left hand, I probably don’t have any broken bones. From the nature of the accident, though, there is very likely substantial soft-tissue damage at the least, and for all I know, something could be broken in the middle of my hand. Either way, not good.

Investigating the underside of the boulder, I can touch the little finger on my right hand and feel its position with my left hand. It’s twisted up inside my palm, in a partial fist; my muscles seem to be in a state of forced contraction. I can’t relax my hand or extend any of my fingers. I try to wiggle each one independently. There’s no movement whatsoever. I try flexing my muscles to make a tighter fist, but there isn’t even the slightest twitch. Double that on the “not good.”

Nearer to my chest along the wall, I can’t quite get my left forefinger up to where it can touch my right wrist from below. My little finger can barely slide into the space between the boulder and the wall, brushing my arm at a spot on the lateral side of the knob of my wrist. I withdraw from prodding around and look at my left wrist and estimate that it is three inches thick. My right wrist is being compressed to one sixth its normal thickness. If not for the bones, the weight of the boulder would squeeze my arm flat. Judging from the paleness of my right hand, and the fact that there’s no blood loss from a traumatic injury, it’s probable that I have no circulation getting to or from my trapped hand. The lack of sensation or movement probably means my nerves are damaged. Whatever injuries are present, my right hand seems to be entirely isolated from my body’s circulatory, nervous, and motor-control systems. That’s three-for-three on the “not good” checklist.

An inner voice explodes into expletives at the prognosis: “Shit! How did this happen? What the fuck? How the fuck did you get your hand trapped by a fucking boulder? Look at this! Your hand is crushed; it’s dying, man, and there’s nothing you can do about it. If you don’t get blood flow back within a couple hours, it’s gone.”

“No, it’s not. I’ll get out. I mean, if I don’t get out, I’m going to lose more than my hand. I have to get out!” Reason answers, but reason is not in control here; the adrenaline isn’t wholly dissipated yet.

“You’re stuck, fucked, and out of luck.” I don’t like to be pessimistic, but the devil on my left shoulder knows better than to keep up any pretenses. The little rhyming bastard is right: My outlook is bleak. But it’s way too early to dwell on despair.

“No! Shut up, that’s not helpful.” Better to keep investigating, see what I learn. Whoever is arguing from my right shoulder makes a good point-it’s not my hand I need to worry about. There’s a bigger issue. Stressing over the superficial problem will only consume my resources. Right now, I need to focus on gathering more information. With that decision made, a feeling of acceptance settles over me.

Looking up to my right, a foot above the top of the boulder on the north wall, I see tiny wads of my flesh, pieces of my arm hair, and stains of my blood streaked on the sandstone. In dragging my arm down the wall, the boulder and smooth Navajo sandstone acted like a grater, scraping off my skin’s outer layers in thin strips. Peering at the bottom of my arm, I check for more blood, but there is none, not even a lone drip.

As I bring my head back up, I bump the bill of my hat, and my sunglasses fall onto my pack at my feet. Picking them up, I see they’ve gotten scratched at some point since I had them on in the open sunny part of the canyon an hour ago. “Not like that’s important,” I tell myself, but still I take care to put them on top of the boulder, off to the left side.

My headphones have gotten knocked off my ears, but now, and in my calm, I hear the crowd on the live CD cheering. The noise evaporates as the disc winds to a stop, and the sudden silence reinforces my situation. I am irreversibly trapped, standing in the dimly lit bottom of a canyon, unable to move more than a few inches up or down or side to side. Compounding my physical circumstances, no one who will suspect I am missing knows where I am. I violated the prime directive of wilderness travel in failing to leave a detailed trip plan with a responsible person. Still eight miles from my truck, I am alone in an infrequently visited place with no means to contact anyone outside the fifty-yard throw of my voice.