Jon Evans - Dark Places

Being a longtime Webhead, I went straight for the FAQ.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is The Bull?

The Bull is an online dead pool with two unique qualities. In other online dead pools, players guess who will die and are awarded points for being correct. As a player of The Bull you choose who dies and you are awarded points for both quantity and quality.

What do you mean, I choose who dies?

I mean you commit murder. If you have somehow found this site and you're not okay with that, don't worry. Participation is optional as of this writing.

I'm okay with killing people. How do I get points?

First of all, you have to register.

How do I register?

Just go to the registration page here, and enter a password. You will be given a username (of the form "NumberOne", "NumberTwo", etc for purposes of anonymity and security). Users are strongly discouraged from having multiple usernames.

What happens after I register?

Then you go out and kill someone, and post evidence to the site. Then you keep doing it.

What kind of evidence?

Photographs are a start, but they are not sufficient as they are too easy to fake. Videos are better, particularly if they have audio tracks as well. Pointers to corroboratory evidence, such as news articles, are often your best bet if available. And every victim must have the mark of The Bull.

What is the mark of The Bull?

Two matching red Swiss Army knives driven into the victim's eyesockets.

Isn't that a pretty weird mark?

Yes. That's the point.

Are there any rules about who I kill?

We don't have any rules. However we have some very strong recommendations, such as:

— only perform kills where you are beyond the jurisdiction of competent police forces, eg Third World countries

— don't kill anyone you know socially

— don't kill anyone if the situation is anything but perfect

— don't ever get fancy

— after the deed is done, get out of the country

In general we recommend that new users examine the log carefully to get an idea of techniques which have been used successfully.

Isn't it dangerous posting evidence of my kills to a Web site?

You bet your sweet ass. Don't ever access this site except from some public location such as a Web cafe, and when you're through, clear all traces of your access by deleting the browser history and Temporary Internet Files (click here for details.)

How do I get points?

There are two types of points: substance, and style.

How do I get substance points?

After you add an entry (via the Add Entry page here) each qualified user may award you 5 substance points if the evidence you posted convinces them that you actually performed a kill.

How do I get style points?

Each qualified user may also award you 1–5 style points, and may also comment on your kill.

What is a qualified user?

You become a qualified user the first time at least half of the existing qualified users grant substance points to one of your kill entries. You can only award points to kills which occur subsequent to your achieving qualified-user status.

Doesn't that mean that as the number of users increases, the number of potential points you can get for a kill increases as well?

Yes. This is deliberate and ensures that the leaderboard is not necessarily monopolized by the users who have been here the longest.

What are style points awarded for?

It's hard to say, and we like to be surprised, but in general kills are considered stylish that involve:

— a high-profile target (eg a fellow-traveler rather than a local)

— multiple simultaneous victims

— subsequent media coverage

— a difficult location (eg a crowded lodge)

— pleasing aesthetics

Aren't you concerned that the authorities will discover this web site?

Not really.

First, of all the information on this site cannot be tracked back to its contributors. The site itself is registered to a false name and administrated anonymously by NumberOne, thousands of miles away from the actual computer that hosts it. Everyone who uses the site is anonymous. So its discovery would be a mild annoyance, not at all a disaster.

Second, we don't think that anyone is going to find out. No search engines have The Bull's address. Nobody knows to look for it. We very nearly don't exist. The only way we could be discovered is if the attempt to recruit new players goes awry — so please be very very careful about that, and only use the appropriate recruitment technique — or if one of you tells the rest of the world. But we think that's doubtful. After all, considering our raison d'etre, who wants to have us on their bad side…?

But if our location ever is discovered, we will move the site to one of our fallback locations.

What is the primary fallback location?

Sorry: qualified players only.

What is the appropriate recruitment technique for new players?

Sorry: qualified players only.

I leaned back from my computer and stared at it as if I saw aliens breeding in its innards. Which in a sense I did.

"Holy fuck," I said, and then, more eloquently, "Holy fucking fuck."

I saved the FAQ to my drive and looked next at the Current Log.

Entry #: 57

Points to date: 21

Entered by: NumberThree

Entry date: 13 Nov 2000

Kill date: 9 Nov 2000

Kill location: Rio de Janiero, Brazil

Victim specifications: 2 street children in Brazilian slums

Kill description: Strangulations in a back alley.

Media files and URLs:

Photographs here, here and here.

Copy of police report by People For Children here.

Scores:

NumberOne

5 substance, 2 style. "Multiple but otherwise unremarkable."

NumberTwo

5 substance, 3 style. No comment made.

NumberFour

5 substance, 1 style. "Not up to NumberThree's high standards."

NumberFive

No score yet.

Entry #: 56

Points awarded: 27

Entered by: NumberFour

Entry date: 5 Nov 2000

Kill date: 18 Oct 2000

Kill location: Gunsang, Nepal

Victim specifications: Stanley Goebel, Canadian backpacker

Kill description: Ambush in an abandoned village near the trekking trail.

Media files and URLs:

Pictures available here and here.

The Nepali police called it a suicide(!), but the kill was corroborated on the Lonely Planet Thorn Tree here by its discoverers.

Scores amp; Comments:

NumberOne

5 substance, 4 style. "Neatly done. Aesthetically pleasing."

NumberTwo

5 substance, 4 style. "Pretty lucky you got that corroboration."

NumberThree

5 substance, 4 style. "I've been on the Circuit, I have some idea how difficult it would have been to find the right moment. Good work."

NumberFive

No score yet.

Entry #: 55

Points awarded: 18

Entered by: NumberFive

Entry date: 21 September 2000

Kill date: 19 September 2000

Kill location: Bangkok, Thailand

Victim specifications: Thai prostitute, name unknown

Kill description: Lured victim to hotel room for assignation, strangled.

Media files and URLs:

Digital video with audio is located here.

Corroboration from the Bangkok Post's "Nite Owl" column here.

Scores:

NumberOne

5 substance, 1 style. "Thai prostitutes are exceedingly banal."

NumberTwo

5 substance, 1 style. "Boring and frankly I find the sexual aspect disgusting."

NumberThree

0 substance, 0 style. "I'm not convinced. The video is blurry, the audio could be faked, and lots of Bangkok prostitutes turn up dead."

NumberFour

5 substance, 1 style. "Real, but that's the only good thing to say about it."