Robert Browne - Trial Junkies

He didn't have to ask what she meant by this, considering Matt's insistence that she had always been in love with him. But should he take her up on her offer?

If he did, it meant that Nadine's warning was right. That he was thinking with his dick.

But was that really so bad?

Was it?

Yes , he thought-and he resisted. Just as he resisted that Double Diamond, calling out to him.

One sip, Hutch.

One tiny little sip.

Over the last ten years, Hutch had slept with more than his share of women, had even taken on a long-term relationship or two. But he'd never felt as if he'd been completely present in any of them. Had always held back, careful not to give too much of himself. He didn't want anyone falling in love with him, because he knew he couldn't return that love. It had always been "friends with benefits" for him, an arrangement that rarely ended well.

He remembered once being described in People magazine as "Hollywood's Biggest Catch!" and nearly laughed out loud when he saw the issue on a newsstand.

Some catch. All he offered was disappointment. He'd even disappointed the one woman he had allowed himself to love.

"Let me help," Ronnie whispered again. And as he stood there looking into her eyes-eyes that were asking as much as offering-he felt his body stirring.

One sip, Hutch.

One tiny little sip.

She moved closer to him now, her breasts brushing against his chest, her own body (if Matt was to be believed) filled with a decade's worth of pent-up desire. The now familiar smell of lavender filled his nostrils and he imagined himself pressing his mouth against the nape of her neck, tasting her, breathing her in.

But he gently pulled away.

"You should get some sleep," he said. "Big day in court tomorrow."

The disappointment in her expression was so palpable that he once again felt the sting of guilt, even though he'd done nothing to lead her on.

She stepped back and away from him, lowering her eyes. "I… I'm sorry, I… "

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm flattered, believe me, and tempted too. Very tempted. But I don't think the timing is right."

She looked up suddenly, releasing a sharp, humorless laugh. "Timing? Who gives a damn about timing?"

"I'm just thinking that with the trial and every-"

"I'm not asking you to marry me, Hutch. I'm only looking for a comfort fuck-and I thought you might be, too."

Her tone was abrupt and abrasive, and for reasons he didn't quite understand, this made her all the more attractive to him. And somehow more vulnerable.

But he knew she was lying. This would be much more than a simple comfort fuck, and he needed to walk away. Now . He didn't want her to be a substitute for Jenny. That was just wrong , on far too many levels.

But before he knew it, he was pulling her toward him and pressing his mouth against hers, tasting her, feeling the heat of her tongue, his hands roaming, fingers probing, as they moved together toward the couch and fell onto the cushions.

And it wasn't just a sip.

He drank the whole goddamn bottle.

Later, as they lay in bed, her warm breasts pressed against his arm, Ronnie said, "What if they convict me? What am I gonna do?"

He reached over, stroked her hair. Ran his hand along her jaw. "You can't think like that."

Yet he'd been thinking the very same thing.

"Can't I? We point at the evidence and moan about how ridiculous it is, but there's no guarantee the jury will see that. Some of those women look at me as if I'm the Devil incarnate-and the trial has barely even started."

"Then we'll just have to prove that Langer's the one who should be on trial."

She sighed. "Let's be realistic. What you proposed tonight sounded like something from a bad TV show."

"Good thing I have a lot of experience with that."

"I mean it, Hutch. The only way I'm getting out of this is if the jury votes for acquittal or Langer miraculously confesses-assuming he's even done anything. I'm still not convinced he's the bad guy."

"He's a stalker, we know that much."

"Do we?"

"Come on, Ronnie. He's obviously been obsessed with you ever since he saw you at school. And I've seen the way he looks at you in the courtroom. Everything in my gut tells me he's our guy."

"And what if your gut is wrong?"

"Then we just have to hope the jury sees through Detective Meyer's bullshit. Maybe you'll feel better after Waverly does her cross."

She turned onto her back now and brought her forearm over her eyes, trying to hide the tears that were forming. "I am so screwed…"

Hutch got up on his elbow. "You have to think positive, kiddo. It'll all work out. We'll make it work."

She took her arm away and wiped at the tears. "How?"

A good question. The logistics of what he had proposed tonight had been loosely worked out, but when it came down to it, they were a bunch of amateurs and they were flying blind.

"We'll find a way," he said. "I promise."

She nodded and tried to smile, tried to put on a brave face, but her eyes were full of doubt and he didn't blame her. Then she said in a small, tentative voice, "What if there's another way to beat this? A way that has nothing to do with Langer or the jury."

"I don't understand."

"I could disappear," she said. "Take Christopher and run. Do what Langer did and create false identities. You could even come with us if you-"

"Stop," he said. "Don't say another word."

She got quiet for a moment, then started to cry again. "I can't go back to jail, Hutch. Not for something I didn't do. And these bastards want to put me away for the rest of my life."

"And running only makes you look guilty."

"So what ? Everyone already thinks that."

" I don't," Hutch said. "And neither do your friends."

"I'll try to remember that when I'm exercising in the prison yard." She rolled onto her side, putting her back to him. She was quiet for a long time, then she said, "If I run, at least I'll be with my son."

"And where would you go?"

"I don't know. Mexico, maybe. South America. Somewhere remote."

Hutch sighed.

Was that what this night had really been about? Ronnie manipulating him again, saying she wanted to help him forget, when what she really wanted was his help in running away?

Stop letting your dick do your thinking for you.

He needed to bring her back to reality, pronto.

"This is the twenty-first century, Ron. Nobody disappears anymore. It isn't possible. Everyone has cell phones, cameras, Internet connections, Twitter feeds. You'd have the FBI and Interpol circulating your photos around the world and sooner or later they'd find you. I'm guessing sooner."

"What about Langer? He did it. Changed his identity."

"Yeah, but it took Matt-what? — less than a day to figure out he wasn't kosher. And Langer's a nobody. With the kind of publicity you've been getting, how long do you think you'd last?"

"I told you, I could go somewhere remote."

"And do what? Herd sheep for a living?"

"If I have to."

Hutch sat up now, looking down at her, wondering if she really meant what she was saying. She must have known the idea was absurd. She wasn't a stupid woman.

He swung his legs around and got to his feet. "I know I said I'd help you, Ronnie, but not like this. I won't do this."

"I wasn't serious about you coming along."

"I hope you aren't serious at all. Running isn't the answer."

She looked up at him. "Isn't it?"

He studied her a moment-her wounded eyes, her naked frame perched at the edge of the bed as if she was already preparing to run. Her body was compact, toned, her skin as soft and flawless as a child's. And that's what she looked like right now. A forlorn, frightened child.