David Bell - The Hiding Place

“Ray might have been coming over here that day?”

“Yes.”

“From their house?”

“I guess so.”

“Do you know what that means, Dad?” Janet asked.

Her father might be many things, but he wasn’t slow. She could see his face as he connected the dots. “You’re saying he would have had to walk through the woods? He would have walked right where Justin was killed?”

“Yes.”

“No,” he said. “The Bowers almost always drove when they came to our house. Even if he did walk, it doesn’t prove anything. Maybe he walked, saw the commotion, and turned around and went home.”

“You’re defending this man?” Janet said. “The man who ruined your marriage, and you’re defending him.”

“They arrested a man. They had a trial. He had pornography in his room. You saw him at the park with Justin.” He pointed at her. “You did. Ray Bower may be a lot of things, but he’s not a killer. Why would he kill his own kid?”

Janet already knew she couldn’t answer that question. She couldn’t answer any of these questions.

But she knew whom she wanted to talk to about it all.

“I’m going to go see Michael.”

“Wait.”

Janet didn’t stand up. Her dad didn’t look at her. He held his hand to his mouth, his thumbnail between his front teeth. She knew he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t saying it.

Then she understood. He was embarrassed. He had just told her the most painful, embarrassing event of his life, something he had kept to himself for twenty-five years. And she wanted to go tell someone else about it. The whole town would find out if the news broke.

“We have to do this, Dad,” she said. “We have to find out what happened.”

He didn’t say yes or no. He didn’t even nod.

But Janet knew he agreed.

Rose opened the door for Janet. She wore a large smile until she saw the look on Janet’s face. Then she knew something was wrong. She didn’t move out of the way so Janet could come inside.

“Is he home?” Janet asked.

After a pause, Rose nodded. “He’s in his room.”

“Do you know why I’m here?”

Rose reached up and fiddled with a loose strand of hair. “I know there was some kind of DNA test being done. I read that in the paper.”

“Did you know?” Janet asked.

“That was so long ago-”

“Did you know?”

Rose pressed her lips together, making them disappear. “I wondered. Many times I wondered. Ray thought it might be true.”

“And Michael?”

Rose looked behind her. She came closer to Janet, pulling the door shut a little more in an attempt to block the sound of their voices from entering the house. “I never wanted him to hate his father. I wasn’t going to be the person who destroyed what my son thought of his dad.”

“He hated him anyway,” Janet said.

“But that’s because of other things,” Rose said. “Ray cut him off. He was giving Michael money, and he stopped. It’s this new girl Ray’s dating. Ray wouldn’t…He loves Michael very much.”

Janet took a step back and looked at the woman’s face. Was she really making excuses for her ex-husband, the man who cheated on her, fathered another child, and left her? After all these years, was she still in love with him?

“I’m telling him, Rose. I’m here to tell him.”

Rose started to object but stopped. Finally, she stepped back and let Janet into the house.

Janet told Michael most of the story. While she explained everything-the DNA test, the story her father told her about the affair, and the events of the day Justin died-Rose sat on the couch, listening with her head down. Michael asked few questions during Janet’s recitation of events. She watched his face carefully, saw his cheeks redden, his jaw set tight, as if his teeth were gripping something strong and desperately trying to tear it away. He did speak once. He looked at his mother and said, simply, “He did that to you, Mom?”

Rose didn’t answer him.

When Janet finished, Michael sat still and quiet. Rose scooted closer to him and placed her arm around his shoulders. He stiffened under her touch, and Rose looked like she had been slapped.

“I told you, didn’t I?” Michael said.

Janet knew what he meant.

“What do you mean, Michael?” Rose asked.

Michael didn’t answer her. He stared at Janet, his eyes boring into her.

“You need to tell her, Michael,” Janet said.

“Tell me what?”

“Michael?”

When he still didn’t say anything, Janet stepped in.

“Michael has been trying to figure some things out over the years, things about the day Justin died. He saw his father in the woods that day, right in the area where Justin’s body was found.”

Rose was already shaking her head.

“And,” Janet said, “we know that he might have wanted to come to our house that day to tell my dad. If he did that, he would have walked right through there.”

“Ray wouldn’t. He couldn’t.”

“Rose, did he leave the house that morning?” Janet asked. “Did he want to come over to talk to Dad?”

“It’s been so long-”

“Stop protecting him, Mom. Just stop it.” Michael’s voice was as flat and hard as a winter road.

Rose removed her arm from around Michael’s shoulders and placed her hands in her lap and knotted them together. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. “He did leave the house that morning,” she said.

Michael made a low grunting noise. It sounded like a cross between pain and anger.

Rose said, “He told me about…” Her voice trailed off, but she pointed at Janet. “The things you just told me about. And he said he wanted to talk to Bill in person.” She looked at Michael. “We fought that morning when he told me. We never fought. Ever.”

“I know,” Michael said.

“That’s why we sent you to the park that day,” Rose said. “We fought about all of this, including Justin. Ray said he thought Justin might be his child. I guess that was the part I couldn’t bear to hear, that he might have had a child with another woman.” She looked at Janet. “We tried to have another after Michael, but we couldn’t. I couldn’t, I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” Janet said.

“I begged him to stay,” Rose said. She smiled at Janet, but it carried no joy. “I guess you don’t understand that,” she said. “Girls from your generation, you’re more independent. Stronger. Look at you, raising a daughter all by yourself. And working at the same time.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Janet said.

“Well, Ray didn’t listen to me anyway. He said he needed to talk to Bill about it man-to-man. He wanted to clear the air that one time, get everything out in the open, and then never mention it again. That’s the way Ray is. He didn’t want to have a long talk about anything. He thought it could be cut and dried. He was done with me, and he could move on. The end. So he did leave to do that, to talk to your dad, to tell him in person.”

“Did he drive or walk?” Janet asked.

“He walked. He went right out the back door and over toward the park.”

“We have to call the police,” Michael said.

“But he came back, right?” Janet asked, ignoring Michael for the moment. “When did he come back?”

Rose paused and thought about her answer. “It wasn’t long. Twenty minutes maybe. He came back in the door and said that something was wrong in the park. He said the police were there, so he decided to come home. Then the phone rang.” Rose pointed at Janet. “Your mom was on the phone. I thought she was calling for…I don’t know, something else. But she was upset. She said Justin was missing, and she wanted to know if he was over at our house. Ray told her no, he wasn’t.” Rose looked down. “I may have said some awful things then. I said if she was a better mother and wasn’t interfering in someone else’s marriage, maybe she could keep better watch on her kids. It was a terrible thought, but I didn’t know what had happened to Justin at that point. I wouldn’t have said or thought those things if I had known.”