Jon Merz - Vicarious

“You don’t think it was a dream?”

“Might have been, although you described his bedroom perfectly. Not the kind of thing you’d be able to pull out of thin air. Haven’t researchers found that people tend to have out-of-body experiences most often when they sleep?”

“I don’t know,” said Lauren.

“Well, no matter. You weren’t able to hear what he was saying. Not much we can pull out of this.”

“Steve…there’s something else.”

“What is it?”

“He spoke to me.”

“What?”

“Just as I was leaning in, trying to make out what he was saying. He opened his eyes.”

“He was awake?”

“I think he woke up.”

“You sure he spoke to you?”

Another crash against her bedroom window. Another gust of wind. It’s like all the evil is outside trying to get in, she thought. Trying to get to me. “Positive. He looked right at me.”

“He saw you? How is that possible?”

“I don’t know. My god I don’t know.”

“What did he say?”

“He said, ‘hello Lauren.’”

“That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“No death threats or anything?”

“He didn’t have to. If you’d seen the way he looked through me. Like I wasn’t even there.”

“You weren’t there, Lauren.”

“But I was.”

“Okay.”

“It scared me, Steve. I got the impression in just those two words, and standing there watching him mumble in his sleep. I got the impression it’s going to happen soon.”

“The resurrection?”

“Yes.”

“Well, he can’t do much right now. He’s got two cops and Kwon sitting on him. Be tough to get out of that house without someone noticing him.”

“I don’t think any of those measures would stop him if he really meant to get out and do something about it.”

Curran’s voice sounded fully awake now. “You think Kwon’s in danger?”

“I think we’re all in danger.”

“Goes without saying,” said Curran. “But what about imminent danger? I can phone Kwon if you need me to.”

Lauren closed her eyes, still clutching the sheets to her. “I don’t know. I can’t honestly say. I just keep seeing his eyes. The way they looked. So cold. So hollow. Vacant almost, you know? Like he wasn’t even in his body.”

“Want me to come over?”

She hesitated again. Part of her wanted him to. Part of her yearned for him to come over and wrap her in his arms, to make the rest of the world dissolve into nothingness. He could protect her, she felt. She knew this. She desired it.

“No,” she said finally. “I’ll see you in a few hours anyway.”

“You’re sure?”

“No,” said Lauren. “I’m not sure. But it’s better if you don’t.”

“Why’s it better?”

“Because we won’t be tempted to make a mistake.”

“It might not be a mistake, Lauren. You ever think about that?”

“All the time, Steve. All the time.”

“You’re sure.”

“I am.”

He sighed. Lauren could feel his desperation even down the phone line. “All right. I’ll pick you up at seven. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You call me if anything happens.”

“I will.”

“Or if you change your mind.”

“I will.”

“I can be there in ten minutes.”

“I know.”

“Ten minutes,” said Curran. “Not long at all.”

Lauren smiled. “Good night, Steve.”

“Good night, Lauren.”

Curran called Kwon.

Not that he was overly concerned, but he did find Lauren’s detail of Darius’ bedroom unerring. He sat on the edge of his bed, down slippers keeping his feet warm. They were the only things that could it seemed.

Kwon answered on the third ring. “Why you bothering me?”

“You always answer the phone that way?”

“Only when I know it’s some sex-starved cop on the other end.”

“Funny.” The winds outside howled. One of the shutters sounded like it had worked its way loose and was banging against the side of the house.

“What’s up?”

“Just got a call from Lauren.”

“Ah, the little lady finally coming around for you?”

“Not a chance.”

“See? She’s too smart to get mixed up with a big lug like you.”

“You know, Kwon, any time my ego’s in the dumps, there’s nothing like a call from you to make me feel even worse.”

“Glad to oblige. So, why you calling me?”

“Checking in.”

“Dude, it’s almost three in the damned morning. Get some sleep.”

“I was.” Before Lauren called and told me she’d been visiting with Darius, he thought.

“Then she called.”

“Exactly.”

“Can’t sleep now?”

“Well…” What was keeping him up at this ungodly hour? He frowned. Was it just Kwon’s safety? Or was it something else? An image of Lauren floated through his mind.

Kwon sighed. “You love her don’t you?”

Curran snapped back to reality. “I never said that.”

“Christ, Curran, you don’t have to.”

Was it even worthwhile trying to deny it anymore? “Probably not.”

“Feeling like crap yet?”

“Sure am.”

“Good.”

“Good? How is that good?”

“Good you recognize that you’re in love with the lady.”

“Feeling like crap means I’m in love?”

“Sure.”

“I’ve been in love a million times then.”

“Bro, you know what I mean.”

I don’t know anymore, he decided. He didn’t know what any of it meant. The only thing that felt right was being close to Lauren. Was that love? He guessed it was. He sighed again. “Cops still there?”

“Oh yeah. Think they’re asleep though.”

“Great.”

“Bastions of law enforcement professionalism,” said Kwon. “You’re lucky to be associated with these guys.”

“They’re Chestnut Hill PD, not Boston. That’s like comparing SEALs to Boy Scouts.”

Kwon laughed. “What did Lauren say, anyway?”

“Said she dreamed she visited Darius’ house and saw him in his bed.”

“Wow.”

“Said she heard him mumbling in some weird language in his sleep.”

“Weird language? What, like speaking in tongues or something?”

“Maybe.”

“Spooky.”

“Also said Darius woke up. Looked right at her. Even said hello.”

“No wonder she called you.”

And waking up to a night like it was outside, afterward would have sent her over the edge, thought Curran. “Pretty freaky.”

“Hell, I woulda called you.”

“I’m touched.”

“Been telling you that for years,” said Kwon. “So, how come you’re not over there comforting her right now?”

“I offered.”

“You offered.” Kwon’s voice began sounding like a frustrated schoolteacher.

“Said I could be there in ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes.”

“Yeah.”

“Curran, how long’s it been since you picked up a woman.”

“A while.”

“Push me over with a feather, I’m so shocked,” said Kwon. “Dude, you don’t ‘offer’ anything. Just show up.”

“I can’t just show up.”

“Why not?”

It was a good question. Why couldn’t he just go over there? Why couldn’t he go and tell her how much he cared for her? “I don’t know.”

“Right. That’s your problem.”

“I don’t think she’d be happy about me just showing up unannounced.”

“You’re picking her up anyway in the morning.”

“Yeah. At seven.”

“So, you’re four hours early.”

“Great logic.”

“Look, you want this woman or not? All I’ve been hearing from you for the last few days is how much you think she’s the greatest thing since take-out Chinese food. Now, I’m telling you if you go over there right now, it’ll be the best move you’ve made so far.”