Jon Merz - Vicarious

“It’s cold out, man. You sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. I doubt that guy’s able to keep up with a car anyway, so I’m not concerned about being followed.”

“You call me tomorrow with a lab workup on that button, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Curran drew the car to a halt outside of the Boston Public Library in Copley Square. Rain sloshed down against the gray masonry walls. Kwon tapped them both on the shoulder. “Stay cool.”

“Stay dry,” said Curran.

Kwon hopped out and disappeared in the rush of rain. Curran slid the car back into drive and caught Beacon Street out toward Allston.

Lauren watched his windshield wipers flick away rivers of water. The yellow, red, and blue neon lights of the city looked warped and twisted viewed through the rain as they sped past Kenmore Square. She could hear the tires slosh through puddles.

“You okay?”

She looked at him. “I’m scared.”

“I would be, too.”

“What’s going on, Steve?”

“I don’t know.”

They sped up Commonwealth Avenue. The Burger King zipped past. Boston University dormitories and academic buildings flew by them as well. But even though it felt like they were speeding and leaving Marlborough Street far behind, Lauren couldn’t shake the feeling that her stalker was still with her.

That he knew how to get at her.

Any time he wanted to.

“Steve-“

“-You sure you want to go home?”

They both laughed. Curran smiled. “Sorry. It’s just that I thought you might be worried about this guy and maybe sleeping alone tonight isn’t the best ting for you.”

She eyed him. “And what would you suggest?”

Even in the darkness, she thought she could see his skin color change. So, the tough guy isn’t all that tough after all. She’d made him blush.

He stammered out an explanation. “What I meant was, that, you know, if you had a friend or something you could maybe bunk with. That might be better.”

“Uh huh.”

He risked a look at her. She almost laughed. “It’s okay, Steve. I appreciate the concern. You can drive me to my friend’s house if you don’t mind.”

“You want to call her?” He handed her his cell phone.

“Him, actually,” said Lauren. She took the cell phone. “Thanks.”

She thought she saw his color change again. She smiled and dialed the number. It rang three times before the voice picked up. “Hi, James. It’s me.” She spoke another minute all the while aware of Steve watching her out of the corner of his eye.

She hung up and handed the phone back to him. “Thanks. You can head down Waldeck Street and take a right at North Beacon.”

Curran jaw tightened. She knew what he was thinking. And she almost laughed out loud in spite of herself.

She directed him now. “A few more up on the right. There it is. Stop here.”

He pulled the car up to the curb and parked it. He sat there staring straight ahead. “Okay. Well. Good night.”

She looked at him. “Steve.”

He turned slowly. “Yeah?”

“Thank you for tonight.”

“Forget it.”

She touched his arm. “I’ll call you in the morning, all right?”

“Yeah.”

It was touching, his jealousy. She could see him trying hard to keep it all in check. She grasped the door handle. “Did you want to come up and meet my friend?”

“No.”

“All right, I’ll just tell Father Jim you weren’t feeling like it.”

He melted. “What?”

“My friend. Father Jim. This is where he lives.” She pointed through the window. “See? The house is attached to his church.” She looked back at Steve and saw he was smiling.

“Oh.”

She smiled at him. “Good night, Steve.”

Outside the bedroom window, Lauren could hear the rain and wind making the night their own. Trees closest to the window scratched at the glass like skeletal fingers trying to claw their way out of the ground.

She shivered once under the heavy weight of the down comforter and moved her hands south, finding warmth by her abdomen. She let them rest there, feeling the heat radiate out of her skin.

Rain spattered against the roof overhead and she wanted so badly to let the unsteady rhythm of it lull her into a deep sleep.

But sleep would not come.

In her mind, she could still see the image of the man standing in the rain.

Waiting for her.

Coming for her.

Was it the Soul Eater? Was he really after her as well? Would he kill her like he had the others?

She shivered again and shifted, trying to warm herself more.

Thank God, Steve had shown up when he had. She hated to think what would have happened if he’d been even just a few minutes later. The Soul Eater would have wrapped his hands around her neck and then lifted her essence right out of her. She would have died on the lonely cold stone step — another casualty in the battle between good and evil. A battle so few even knew existed.

But Steve…

She smiled, recalling how upset he’d seemed at the thought of her having a boyfriend of some type. And then the flood of relief that seemed to wash over him when he realized he’d been mistaken. Lauren found it altogether charming and innocent. He’d seemed as crestfallen as a ten-year old with his first crush.

There was a lot to admire about Steve Curran, she decided. At once a hardcore and devoted detective, he had an inner softness that he desperately tried to keep hidden. She kept seeing it in flashes, never for more than a second or so. But she knew it existed.

He could be absolutely stone, though. She’d seen enough evidence of that tonight when he’d come out of the car. She’d never seen him look so…primed. There was no doubt in her mind that he could kill if he needed to.

That he would kill.

She couldn’t blame him. After all, tracking the Soul Eater for as long as he had without even really knowing what it was, or why it did what it did would have driven most other men insane by now. But Steve just kept on coming at it like another case that needed solving. His determination and naivete over the entire affair made him even more appealing.

When was the last time you felt this way about a man, she asked herself.

The answer came fast and without blinking.

Never.

Oh sure she’d had boyfriends before. But they’d never lasted beyond a week or two. She’d had enough sex to know her way around a bedroom. But there were parts of her that had never really succumbed to the fullness of making love.

How could she? After what her brother had done to her?

That was the real reason why no man ever stuck around long enough. It was like they could sense there was something there. Some kind of emotional baggage that would inhibit her. And so far, no one had shown any signs they’d be willing to tackle the job of removing it.

Until Steve.

He knew about her past. He knew about the hell she’d endured.

And he seemed quite willing to try despite it. If only he would let himself make the move. And if he thought I’d let him, she thought with a small smile.

She could tell he had a hang-up about her wanting to become a nun. It probably seemed weird to him, to be romantically attracted to a woman about to enter the Church.

I wonder….

In truth, Lauren wasn’t entirely uncomfortable with the notion of falling for a man like him.

Images of the two of them danced in her head. Intertwined bodies, undulating, frothing, and cresting on the shores of desire.

She wasn’t a nun yet, was she? Couldn’t she indulge? Just once?

But as quickly as she tried to reason out any tryst she might enjoy, she knew instinctively there might be a lot more to a guy like Curran. What might start out as some delightful romp could well turn into something…serious.