Linwood Barclay - Stone Rain

The cop considered whether to speak, then said, “Someone put this guy’s face and hands into a goddamn fucking deep fryer. It’s a wonder he’s still alive. When they get the bandages off his face and he has a look in the mirror, he’ll be sorry he survived.”

“Is he able to talk at all?”

“Be a lot easier if he had lips. They haven’t been able to get much out of him so far.”

“Who’s in charge of the investigation?” I said. “I need to talk to him, or her, or whoever it is.” I didn’t have much doubt who was behind this, and I was more than happy to tell all.

The cop dictated a name and number, which I scribbled into my notebook. I thanked him and headed back to my car. Driving home, I dialed the number he’d given me.

“Hi. This is Detective Herlich. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”

“Yeah, hi, my name is Zack Walker and I think I can tell you what happened to Brian Sandler. Look, I’m heading home, I’ll give you that number.” Which I did, and broke off.

Sandler’s instincts were right. His boss, Ellinger, must have suspected Sandler was up to something after he’d dropped by his office and asked all those questions. And then, and I was guessing here but it all seemed to make sense, Ellinger put in a call to the Gorkins, who brought Sandler in for a visit with the deep fryer.

I imagined Mrs. Gorkin and her girls must have had a few questions for him before they dunked him into the sizzling grease. Like what he was up to, whether he was going to play along, whether he was going to the police.

Whether he was going to the media.

Shit.

I decided that when I got home, I would put in a call to Lawrence Jones. Get a few tips on how to watch my back. Maybe drop enough hints, act frightened enough, that he’d come over and babysit me until I told Detective Herlich everything I knew about the Gorkins and Sandler. Herlich was welcome to hear the audio file as well. Wouldn’t take long, once he had all of that, I figured, before arrest warrants would be sworn out for the Gorkins, they’d be in custody, and I could let Lawrence go home and listen to his jazz collection or surprise philandering husbands in motel rooms.

I parked Trixie’s car in our driveway, got out my keys as I mounted the front porch steps, and opened the front door.

The twins were on me in an instant.

I spotted the one on the stairs first, and would have turned to run, but her clone had been hiding behind the door and slammed it shut once I stepped inside. She came up behind me and encircled me in her meaty, pasty white arms while the other one came at me like I was in a bullring waving a red flag.

I tightened the muscles in my stomach when I saw the fist coming, but I am not exactly a hundred-crunches-a-day kind of guy, and when she drove her hand into me I turned into a rag doll. The one holding me let go and I dropped to the floor, desperately trying to catch my breath.

“Oh God oh God oh God,” I said.

It took a moment before I was able to breathe again, but even once I had air going in and out of my lungs, I didn’t have the strength to get back up. I rolled over onto my back and saw that the twins had now been joined by their mother, who looked down contemptuously at me.

“Where is file?” she asked me.

“Give me a sec,” I said, still gasping. “I can barely breathe.”

“Give him minute, Momma,” said one of the twins.

I had a moment now to take them all in. The three of them standing there, looking like a trio of line-backers without the helmets. All short and squat and one of them getting on a bit in years, but no less threatening than the other two. Mrs. Gorkin, gray hair brushed back, hooknosed, a bit of hair on her upper lip, wore a drab dress that would have showed its grease stains to more advantage if it weren’t black.

The twins, both around five feet, about four hundred pounds between them, had short, bristly blonde hair. They were both in jeans, one in a red sweater, the other in blue.

I sat up, waved a finger at the twins. “So, who’s who here?”

The one in the red sweater said, “I am Ludmilla.”

The one in the blue sweater said, “I am Gavrilla.”

Ludmilla said, “We are twins.”

I nodded. “Ludmilla. Gavrilla.” I turned and looked at their mother. “And Mrs. Gorkin. Nice to see you again.” I took another breath. “I’d just like to say, right now, that I’m really, really sorry about what happened at your place the other day. My son, he seemed to think there might be something wrong with the burgers, and some people heard us talking, and, well, you know the rest. So I can totally understand you being upset about that. Believe me, if I had it to do all over again, I’d just forget about it.”

Mrs. Gorkin said, “We are not here about dat.”

I feigned bafflement. “Well, I don’t suppose you’re here to offer my son his job back.”

Mrs. Gorkin said, “Stop being stupid!”

“I’m not trying to be stupid. I’m just trying to figure out what it is you want.” I’d always thought playing dumb came naturally to me, but Mrs. Gorkin didn’t seem to be buying it.

“Momma wants the file,” said Ludmilla.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said. The thing is, I didn’t care if they had the file. I was more worried about what they might do to me if they knew I’d heard it.

“The man,” said Gavrilla. “The man who was going to talk to you. He sent a file to you. That you could hear.”

“Where is computer?” Mrs. Gorkin asked.

“My computer?” I said. “It’s up in my study. Upstairs. Help yourself to it.” It wasn’t like I had a nearly finished novel sitting in it. Cart it away, I thought.

“Upstairs,” Mrs. Gorkin said, “you take us.”

I shook my head like I didn’t know what she was talking about but was happy to indulge her little whims. Once I was on my feet, I took another couple of breaths. I realized now it was Gavrilla who’d held me, and Ludmilla who’d thrown the punch. It felt as though her fist was still in my stomach.

“This way,” I said, leading them up the stairs to the study. “Honestly, I don’t know what it is you’re going on about.”

“Shut the mouth,” said Mrs. Gorkin, giving me a shove from behind.

“Who’s running Burger Crisp?” I asked, just making conversation. It wouldn’t be long before the lunchtime crowd showed up. “Shouldn’t you be there? You want, I could bring the computer by.”

“We have people,” said Ludmilla. “Better than your stupid son.”

I led them into the study and took a seat in front of my computer. Mrs. Gorkin had her eyes on me, but the girls took a quick look around the room, taking in my various items of SF kitsch.

“Look!” said Ludmilla. “Wonder Woman!”

“Neat!” said Gavrilla, taking the busty superhero from the shelf. “Look, her arms move. She even has a little lasso.”

Mrs. Gorkin was not interested in Wonder Woman. “Show me where you have da files,” she said.

“I’ve got all kinds of files,” I said. “What kind of files did you have in mind?”

Ludmilla came up behind me. “Open your e-mail. Momma wants to see the e-mail.”

I did as I was asked, Ludmilla peering over my shoulder. She smelled of fries. “Go to Inbox,” she said, and I did. “There it is,” she said, pointing to the one labeled “Brian Sandler.”

“I don’t hear anyting,” said Mrs. Gorkin.

“Click on it,” said Ludmilla. “Momma doesn’t understand computers very well.” I clicked on the e-mail, and then, at Ludmilla’s instruction, the attached audio file.

And a moment later, the conversation between Brian Sandler and Frank Ellinger was coming out of the speakers.