Bill Pronzini - The Lighthouse

“Lord knows I didn’t like that dog,” the storekeeper said. “Mitch was always bringing him in here and he was always upsetting something. But Mitch was fond of Red, treated him like one of his kids-better, some might say.”

“It’s dead? Mitch Novotny’s dog?”

“Run down in the road right out front of the Novotny house. Run down on purpose, according to what Mitch says.”

Alix suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

“Didn’t stop, didn’t even slow down,” Lillian Hilliard said. “Pretty cold-hearted, you ask me.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Well, Mitch wouldn’t lie. I’ll say that for him.”

“Then he must have made a mistake. How could he be sure it was my husband?”

“Wasn’t any mistake. That big new car of yours is the only one like it around here. And Mitch says he saw it happen.”

Alix stood still, her hands clenched, fingernails biting into her palms. It just wasn’t possible. Jan was a gentle man, he had often spoken out against blood sports and other cruelties to animals…

Mrs. Hilliard said, “Seems to me if it was just an accident, he’d have stopped afterward. And told you about it after he got home. Now wouldn’t you say?”

She didn’t know what to say. She just shook her head. Not a word to her last night; and this morning, he’d gotten up before she had and locked himself in his study and started working as if nothing had happened. Working hard: she’d heard the steady beat of the typewriter keys and hadn’t wanted to disturb him; had left him a note saying she was going into the village to do the laundry.

The storekeeper bunched up her rag and tossed it back under the counter. “Maybe you better go back to the lighthouse and ask him about it,” she said almost gently. Her expression now was one of pity. “Maybe he’s got an explanation that’ll satisfy everybody.”

“Yes. Yes, I’m sure he does.”

Numbly, she turned her back on the other woman’s pity and left the store. The station wagon was parked nose-in to one side of the launderette; she crossed the street and walked around to the front of the car. She hadn’t looked at it up close this morning, hadn’t had any reason to. Now she did.

The bumper was dented, scratched. And there was a thin smear of something on it that might have been blood.

Jan was at his worktable, aligning the stack of manuscript pages next to his typewriter, when she came into the study. His fingers moved quickly- tap, tap, tap — bringing the papers into neat order. When he heard her he looked around. His color wasn’t good, his face pale and pinched, but he seemed in reasonably good spirits.

“There you are,” he said. “I’ve just finished the introductory chapter on lighthouse history and I want you to—”

“Jan, we have to talk. Right now.”

He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

On the drive back to the lighthouse she had decided on an indirect approach, one that wouldn’t be too accusing or threatening. Give Jan the opportunity to tell her what had happened. “Last night,” she said, “you told me you were going out for tobacco.”

“Yes?”

“But you’re not out of tobacco. There’s a half-full pouch on your desk. Why did you lie to me?”

He let out his breath in a tired sigh. “Alix, I’m sorry. I had one of my headaches and I thought a drive would relax me. But I wanted to be alone, and I didn’t feel like explaining. I didn’t want to upset you while you were working.”

She felt her anger rising; forced it down. She was determined to handle this in a way that would damage them the least. “Jan, why didn’t you tell me about the dog?”

“What dog?”

“Mitch Novotny’s dog-Red. Everyone in the village is talking about it.”

“Still? My God, that was over a week ago.”

“They’re not talking about last week, they’re talking about what happened last night!”

For a moment Jan seemed honestly bewildered; then an uneasiness-and something that might have been fear-crawled into his eyes. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said.

Alix sat heavily on the extra chair, a mate to the lumpy ones in the living room. “Someone ran down and killed Mitch Novotny’s dog last night. He claims it was you. And that you did it deliberately because you didn’t stop, didn’t even slow down.”

“Oh, God. ”

Now Jan looked ill. He shook his head, winced, pressed thumb and forefinger against his eye sockets.

“You did run down that dog, didn’t you?”

“I… don’t know.”

“What?”

“I don’t know!”

“My God, how can you not know? Even if you didn’t see it, you’d have to have felt the impact. Or heard it. The front bumper is dented, there’s blood on it…”

He got convulsively to his feet, went to the window, stood staring out. “The headache wasn’t so bad when I left here,” he said in a low, pained voice. “But it’d worsened by the time I got to the village, got so bad I could barely see. I turned around, drove back a ways, and then I couldn’t see at all and I stopped-somewhere out on the cape-and just sat there, a long time, until it eased enough so that I could make it back here. I was afraid of hitting something or somebody, that’s why I stopped. I… I didn’t know I’d already hit the dog.”

Conflicting emotions moved through her: relief, concern, fear, even a small doubt. She stood and went to him, caught one of his arms and turned him gently until he was facing her. The deep pain etched in his face was frightening.

She said, “Jan, those headaches of yours seem to be getting worse, more intense. They worry me. You’ve got to do something about them. Call Dave Sanderson or something…”

“I’ve already called him. He gave me a referral to a doctor in Portland. I’ll be seeing him on Tuesday.”

“I’ll go to Portland with you—”

“No, somebody has to stay here and take care of things.”

“I don’t like the idea of you driving all that way alone, not after last night.”

“I won’t drive if a headache starts.”

“Promise me that? Never again?”

“I promise. God, do you think I want to hit anything else with the car? Just the thought of that poor dog…” He shuddered. “Novotny must be pretty upset, must think I’m some kind of criminal. Everyone else in Hilliard, too.”

“They’ll get over it when they hear the truth.”

“Will they?”

“Maybe if you call Novotny and apologize, explain what happened.. maybe he’ll listen.”

“It’s worth a try. But I remember when Thud was killed-the driver of the car that hit him apologized and we still suffered for weeks.”

Alix remembered too-all too well. Thud had been their big, solid yellow cat, named for the noise he made when lesser cats would have jumped off the furniture soundlessly. Years later she still felt his loss, still expected at odd moments to find him lurking in the kitchen next to his food bowl, or to hear him thudding through the house.

Jan forced a smile that was meant to be reassuring, squeezed her hand; but the fear still crouched in his eyes. She wondered if her own fear showed in her eyes, too, for him to see. His explanation hadn’t quite banished it, and neither had her sense of relief.

What if his headaches were no longer just the product of tension? What if something was seriously wrong with him?

Sitting morosely in front of the old wood-burner in the living room, he could hear Alix moving around the kitchen. She was making a lot of noise-thumps, bumps, clatters. Working off her anxiety at the same time. That was a trait he had always admired in her. Whenever she was upset or angry, she found some sort of physical labor to engage in; attacked it with a determination that bordered on the obsessive. And when the job was done, or when she had exhausted herself, her emotions were back in sync again. No grudge-holder, she. She could forgive anything in less than twenty-four hours.