Derek Miller - Norwegian by Night

In the book, there were women screaming, men shaking their fists, children hysterical, and even dogs in mid-flight with their teeth bared. In his own graceless sarcasm, the book — which found an unusually fine publisher and no small audience — was entitled ‘ What?’

In a brief interview with Harper’s , they asked what he did to make everyone so angry.

‘Whatever I could think of,’ he’d replied. ‘I pulled hair, teased kids, hassled dogs, tipped over ice-cream cones, heckled the elderly, left without paying, snatched cabs, cracked wise, walked off with other people’s luggage, insulted wives, complained to waiters, cut in line, tipped hats, and I didn’t hold the elevator for anyone. It was the best year of my life.’

Saul was on page one. Sheldon had just taken the toddler’s candy away, and then took photos of him with a flash that enraged him entirely. Mabel became livid, thereby earning herself a place on page two.

There is a copy of the book in Rhea’s living room. She has shown it to Lars. Their favourite photo is modelled on Doisneau’s ‘Kiss by the Hôtel de Ville’ in Paris, which had only just been printed in Life magazine. Sheldon had intuited the photo’s iconic power of being a moment snatched from time during a period of change. In Sheldon’s version, two lovers have been interrupted during a kiss. They are gripping the iron railing of the bridge, and the woman is hurling a bottle of wine at the camera (technically, at Sheldon). It was a bright day, so Sheldon had used a small aperture-setting to capture a long depth of field, which managed to keep most of the scene in focus. The black-and-white photo — of superb composition — captured not only the angry face of the woman (her hand still extended from the throw, her face contorted, her body bent slightly over the railing as though hurling her very self at the camera), but also the vintage of the flying bottle (1948 Chateau Beychevelle, St Julien, Bordeaux). It was, genuinely, a brilliant photograph. And in 1994, when Doisneau admitted that his own photo had been staged (because the girl in it wanted some cash forty years on, and sued him, thereby forcing the photographer’s admission that she’d been hired, thus breaking the spell of the original photo), Sheldon went bananas and proclaimed himself the master.

‘The original was a fake, and the fake was an original!’ In 1995 his own photo was reissued, bringing him another week of notoriety and an opportunity to be incorrigible at family gatherings. This, for Sheldon, was a joy beyond description.

‘Get dressed. We’ll take a walk,’ Rhea says.

‘You two go. I’ll catch up.’

Lars looks up at Rhea, who glances back knowingly.

‘Papa, we want to tell you something about last night. Come with us.’

Sheldon looks at Lars, who is innocently placing a piece of herring on dark bread.

‘You don’t want me wandering around alone. You want me supervised. Which is why you want to strap that mobile phone on me. But I won’t have it!’

‘We like your company.’

‘Your grandmother was better at manipulating me than you two. I’m not giving in until you raise your game.’

‘Right, well, I’m going out. So who’s with me?’

Lars raises his hand.

‘Lars! Great! Anyone else?’ She looks around the room. ‘No one else?’

‘I have things to do,’ says Sheldon.

‘Like what?’

‘Private things.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘So what?’

‘It’s a nice day, and I want you out of the house.’

‘Did you know that I went through eight cameras making that book? Six were brutally smashed by the subjects — Mario’s was the first to go, one I dropped in the Hudson, and one was actually eaten by a dog. What I loved was how the dog blamed the camera and not me. The photo of the inside of his mouth is on page thirty-seven. And, of course, having pushed the button himself, the dog got the photo credit.’

‘What’s your point?’

‘It’s cute how you think I have a point.’

She scowls. Sheldon smiles. Lars announces he is going to get dressed. Breakfast is over.

Rhea is alone with Sheldon.

‘What’s with you? I said there was something I wanted to tell you.’

‘Go out with your husband. Go to the cabin. Make love on a fur blanket. Eat moose jerky. Drink akevitt that’s crossed the equator a few times. Two hundred years ago, we Jews wouldn’t have been allowed in this country. Now you’ve found a nice boy, and he loves you, and you’re going to have pretty babies. I’ll be here when you get back.’

‘Sometimes I think there’s an actual person in there with you, and then other times… I think it’s just you.’

‘Go get dressed and go. I’ll rinse my mug.’

Rhea’s arms are still crossed. She looks at Sheldon as though deciding something. And then, in a low voice touched with anger, she says, ‘I had a miscarriage.’

There is a deep silence from her grandfather, and his face settles. The muscles release, and for a moment she sees him in all his force. The years flow into him. A frightening weariness comes to his mouth and brow. She immediately regrets saying this. She should have stuck to her agreement with Lars. To break it slowly. To prepare the ground.

Sheldon stands quietly and wraps the robe around himself. And then, as though the tears were there all along, he walks back to his room and openly weeps alone.

Hours later, at two in the afternoon, he is alone in the apartment. His earlier insistence that Rhea and Lars go out had become quite different in tone when it was repeated later. He’d made it clear to them that he needed solitude, and so they went.

Dressed in jeans, a white button-down shirt, and a pair of workman’s boots, he has recovered his composure and is comfortably stretched on the sofa with a book by Danielle Steele when the shouting starts again.

He has heard domestic squabbles before — the rounds of yelling, the escalation, the occasional banging, and even the beatings and sobs. But this is different. The cadence of the argument is wrong. There is no turn-taking between angry participants. The man had started screaming and then kept it up. The woman, this time, hasn’t made a sound.

She must be in there , Sheldon thinks.

It doesn’t have the pauses of a phone conversation. The diatribe is too linear, too intimate. The hollering voice is too present.

It doesn’t matter in the slightest that Sheldon can’t understand a word, because the message is clear. He has had enough experience with humanity, with its range of rage, to know what is happening. There is cruelty and viciousness in that voice. It is more than a squabble. It is a battle.

Then there is a loud bang.

Sheldon puts the book down and sits upright on the sofa. He is attentive, his brows furrowed.

No, not a gunshot. It wasn’t sharp enough. He knows gunshots from his life and from his dreams. It was probably a door slamming. And then he hears approaching footsteps that are quick and even. The woman, perhaps. A heavy woman, or one wearing boots, or carrying something heavy. She is coming down the stairs. First the one flight, then a brief pause on the landing, then the other.

It takes her the same time to manoeuvre down the staircase as it does Sheldon to get to the front door and spy her through the peephole.

And there she is. The source, or focus, or even the cause of it all. Through the fisheye lens, Sheldon sees a young woman around thirty years old standing directly in front of his door. She is close enough that he can only see her from the waist up, but it is enough to place her. She wears a dark T-shirt under a cheap brown-leather jacket. She has gaudy costume jewellery, and her hair is styled with some thick mousse or gel that prevents it from responding to the normal forces of gravity.