Stephen Leather - Take Two

‘It’s company policy,’ said Billy.

‘The drivers wouldn’t stand for it in Oz.’

‘I understand that, Mrs Hall. But I have to do what the company says. If I don’t, I could lose my job.’

‘What does the union say?’

‘I’m not in a union,’ said Billy.

‘I tell you what, we’ll keep it as our little secret, shall we?’ said Jenny, closing the door. ‘Either that or I could tell them you tried to put your hand up my skirt. I’m sure that’s against company policy, too.’

Billy groaned. ‘Please, Mrs Hall…’

She walked past him to the Mercedes. She was wearing a Gucci suit that Billy had seen Carolyn wear several times, and carrying a Gucci shoulder bag. If it wasn’t for the hair and the accent, Billy would have sworn it was Carolyn getting into the front seat of his car. He hurried over and grabbed the handle before she could close the door.

‘You can’t sit in the front, Mrs Hall,’ he said. ‘We’re not insured for passengers in the front. You have to travel in the back.’

‘This is a joke,’ said Jenny.

‘It’s the way it is,’ said Billy. ‘I can’t drive you anywhere unless you’re in the back and strapped in.’

Jenny sighed. ‘This is like a fascist state, you realise that.’

‘I don’t make the rules, Mrs Hall.’ He held open the door.

‘Did my sister put up with this crap?’

‘She understood I had to follow the company’s rules, yes.’

‘And what did you call her?’

‘Miss Castle.’

‘Never Carolyn?’

‘Never.’

Jenny’s eyes sparkled with amusement. ‘I tell you what, Billy. How about this? When there’s no one else around, you call me Jenny. If there’s anyone else around you can call me …’ She shrugged. ‘I tell you what, you can call me Miss Castle. If I’m taking her place then we might as well go the whole hog.’

Billy nodded. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Now, please, if you would get into the back, we can head off. I’ll be well bollocked if you’re late on your first day.’

Jenny smiled sweetly and did as she was asked. Billy closed the door, climbed into the front and started the car.

‘Actually there’s more room in the back,’ she said as Billy drove through Notting Hill.

‘It’s designed around the passenger,’ said Billy. ‘It’s a car for being driven around in.’

Jenny looked around. ‘I could get used to this,’ she said. ‘So how long have you been driving Carolyn?’

‘Three years, give or take.’

‘And what’s she like?’

Billy looked at her in the driving mirror. ‘You sound like you don’t know her.’

‘We’re not that close, to be honest,’ she said. ‘We both left home when we were teenagers, she came to London to seek fame and fortune. I went backpacking in India and traveled through Southeast Asia and, after a very long story, I ended up in Brisbane with a drug-taking husband who thought knocking me around was a great way to spend a Saturday night.’

‘Sorry to hear that,’ said Billy.

‘You make your own bed in this life, Billy, no one forces you to lie in it. Anyway, it’s behind me now. He left five years ago and if I could only find the bastard I’d divorce him.’ She grinned. ‘Or have him shot. I’m easy either way.’

‘Never understood anyone who’d want to hit a woman,’ said Billy.

‘That’s because you’re a gentleman, Billy. But believe me, there’s plenty of men out there happy to take a swing at a member of the fairer sex.’

‘You know, Carolyn never mentioned you, not once,’ said Billy, looking at her in the rear-view mirror.

‘As I said, we weren’t that close. I don’t think anyone in Oz would know she was my sister.’

‘Do they see the show down there?’

‘Not really. It’s on one of the cable channels, but it’s not like I ever got stopped in the street or anything.’

‘Well, that’s going to happen here, that’s for sure,’ he said. ‘Especially with you dressing like her. Your hair’s a bit different, but the resemblance is…’ He laughed. ‘Stupid thing to say,’ he said. ‘You’re twins. Of course you look the same.’

Jenny sat in the chair as Tracey busied herself applying make-up. ‘You really do look like her,’ said the make-up artist. Jenny’s hair was covered in a clear plastic cap covering a dozen or so slips of silver paper to make it look as if her hair was being dyed.

‘That’s the thing about twins,’ said Jenny.

‘But even your skin. The texture. The colour. And this large freckle by your nose, Carolyn has one in pretty much the same place.’

‘It’s genetics,’ said Jenny. ‘But personality-wise we’re totally different. I tell you Tracey, I’m shitting myself here, I really don’t think I’m going to be able to do it. Does my sister get nervous?’

‘Carolyn? Never? She always joked she could do it in her sleep. She did stage work early on and that was difficult, she said, because there you don’t get to correct your mistakes, they’re out there for the audience to see. In TV–Land if you do anything wrong, the director shouts “cut” and you get to do it again. And even if the shoot doesn’t go well, they can fix most things in the edit.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Say you get your dialogue wrong. They can dub it. If you do something wrong, they can edit that bit out. And there’s all sorts of CGI tricks they can use. So, really, you don’t have to worry about a thing.’

Jenny took a deep breath. ‘I hope you’re right,’ she said.

Phillippa appeared at the door holding pale green sheets of paper. ‘Everything okay, Jenny?’ she asked.

‘I think so.’

‘You’ll be fine,’ said the director. She waved the sheets in the air. ‘I’ve had the writers put together a short scene in a hairdressers. It’ll explain the lighter hair and give us a chance to do a scene where it’s just you talking.’ She gave one of the sheets to Jenny. ‘Basically you’re sitting in a chair at the hairdressers. You’re given a cup of coffee but you ask for champagne.’

‘Champagne? In a hairdressers?’

‘That’s the way Diana lives. Then you talk to your stylist. Then your phone rings and you talk to your lawyer.’

Jenny looked at the sheet. ‘So no one else speaks?’

‘It’s cheaper that way,’ said Phillippa. ‘If they don’t speak, they’re classed as an extra. If they talk, then it’s a speaking part and we have to pay a lot more.’ She grinned, ‘One or two words is okay, but the absolute maximum is four. Generally it’s better if they don’t speak.’ She looked at the clock on the wall. ‘Ten minutes, okay?’

‘We’ll be ready,’ said Tracey.

Phillippa patted Jenny on the shoulder and left. Tracey continued to work on Jenny’s eyes and lips, chatting away about the actors she’d worked with over the years. The ten minutes was almost up when Terry appeared. ‘Good to go, darling?’ he asked.

‘As I’ll ever be,’ said Jenny.

Terry was holding a Prada shoulder bag and a BlackBerry. ‘Here’s the bag for this scene — you’ll find they change more than your outfits.’

Jenny took the bag. It was made of shiny black leather with silver fastenings. ‘It’s lovely, do I get to keep it?’

Terry laughed. ‘Not this one, but we’re getting some samples later in the week so I’ll let you have first pick.’ He handed her the phone. ‘This is the phone you use to make the call. It’s inert so it won’t interfere with the microphones but a light comes on as if it’s working.’

‘So I’m not making a call?’

‘Of course not.’

‘So how do I hear what the other person is saying?’