Jams Roses - Son of a Serial Killer

‘There’s nothing more,’ he mumbled, shaking his head, then glancing at Eve and mouthing the word ‘sorry’.

She rolled her eyes and smiled to herself. Ben realised she didn’t care whether he continued or not, she just wanted to put Trevor in his place.

Ben struggled to pay attention to what was going on around him. He’d had one of the worse days of his life, second only to that day he was told of his father’s death, although he was aware that an unwanted visit by the police anytime soon would bump the day he lost his dad off the top spot.

His mind flickered from seeing his girlfriend, his lover, his soul mate thrusting her clitoris into another man’s mouth, to a young lad falling into the canal, blood on his hands and a screaming teenage girl who just wouldn’t shut up until her head had caved in on the concrete ground under the bridge.

And his mother, his dear old mother who was surely losing her mind, yet seemed so convincing when claiming that his father had been a serial killer, an absurd accusation that would bizarrely explain the problems he was having with the voices, the face in the mirror, the rage he felt as he took two lives within the space of seconds.

Then sometimes he would glance across to Eve, and felt a wave of euphoria rise from the pit of his stomach whenever they caught each other’s eye.

Finally, Maggie looked at her watch. She was clearly tired, and probably asking herself why she gave up her time to help a group of people that in all likelihood could never be helped. Not that she would ever quit, deep down she was happy to at least be trying, for some people that is enough and she was one of them, a kind person who just wanted to help, even when it was futile. She checked her watch again and gladly called an end to the group meeting. Her work for the evening was done, she could go home and try to sort through some of her own problems, the type of problems that normal, nice people have to try to solve, like paying the bills, or deciding what to get the grandchildren for their birthdays.

Ben stood and was the first to leave. He emerged from the town hall and took a deep breath of the cool, crisp evening air. He pondered for a moment as to where he would go, home? No. His mother’s house? He couldn’t deal with it. He tried to work out where the closest, cheap hotel was from here then felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned to see Eve face to face with him. This time the feeling in his stomach was the flutter of butterflies.

Eve was beautiful, or could be. She chose to wear dark make up and clothing, almost gothic, but she had a nice body, thin with ample breasts and the minimal skin that was on display looked soft and cared for.

She introduced herself to Ben, maintaining eye contact all the while, as she gave him a brief explanation as to why she attended the group. She told him that she did have anger issues in the past, but they were long gone, she was here to learn about human nature, to learn about the raw emotions of her colleagues in this great city.

Ben loved the sound of her voice. She was well spoken, well-educated clearly. Ben imagined the disapproval of the young woman’s parents, not only of her dress sense but her choice in extracurricular activity. He apologised for his apparent awkwardness earlier, explained that he’d had a difficult couple of months and an awful day.

Eve looked Ben in the eye and placed the softest of hands on his cheek. He could have melted, or dropped to his knees and broken down in tears.

She felt his emotion.

He had never had this kind of connection in his life, not with Natalie certainly, and not with his mother, not even his father. He didn’t understand why he felt this instant bond with someone who didn’t amount to more than a stranger, nor did he have time to try and rationalise the situation before she opened her mouth to utter more words, exactly the words he had wanted to hear.

‘Come home with me.’

Ben lay on the bed, a quilt covering his privates, but the rest of his body exposed. He was hot and sweaty, having just experienced the most passionate and sordid sex he’d had for a long time.

Eve was in the shower, in the small bathroom just the other side of the wall behind Ben, under the falling water, wiping down her body, removing the dark make up and multiple bodily fluids from her skin.

She stopped the water and stepped out of the cubicle, the studio apartment was way too small for a bath tub. She dabbed herself dry then wrapped a clean white towel around her body, covering her perfect breasts and her neatly trimmed pubic hair.

She looked into the mirror before her, studied her face, the curves of her cheek bones, the shades of her skin, the brightness of her eyes. She always knew she was beautiful, and sometimes hated it. Not that she wanted to be less attractive, just not to be prejudged on her good looks. She wasn’t a typical bimbo, and never was. She was complicated.

She went back to the main room and Ben watched as she took a cigarette from the table. She sparked it up and positioned herself on the bed next to him. She didn’t say a word as he studied her, just laid her hand on top of his and smoked her cigarette before stubbing it out into the dirty cup on the bedside drawers.

She then turned on her side and lay face to face with the man who thought he had met an angel. Maybe he had?

Ben hadn’t thought about the day’s events from the moment she placed her lips on his as soon as they arrived back at her place. No more rushes of anger, no more guilt, no more confusion over his Father. Eve had somehow created a bubble in which he felt extremely safe inside.

They talked for an hour.

She explained that she dropped out of university just weeks before her final exams because she realised she didn’t want to be part of ‘the system’. She explained that she saw the world as an evil place where greed and power ruled over love and freedom. Ben realised how young and naive she really was, but didn’t have the heart to tell her that things were the way they were, by putting her life on hold or sabotaging her future she was doing more damage than good.

He told her about the day he’d had; losing his job, finding his girlfriend cheating, reacting angrily to strangers in the street. He was careful not to say too much and give too many details away. He made it sound more like an ever-so-slightly physical confrontation than a brutal double murder.

She spoke gently to him.

‘Nothing is unforgivable,’ she said.

He hoped she was right.

He felt relaxed when listening to her voice, until the sound of sirens became audible, not so far from the apartment block. They grew louder, and Ben felt a sudden nausea. Sweat began to bead on his forehead and his breathing became heavy. Eve noticed the mild panic attack, and placed her hand on his forehead, wiping his brow.

‘Don’t worry,’ she said, ‘I doubt the police will be coming to get you for an argument with some youths.’

She stood and walked to the window.

‘It’s a fire engine anyway,’ she said, as she lay back down beside him.

Slowly, Ben’s breathing and heart rate settled down to normal, and he laid his head on Eve’s shoulder. She softly stroked his arm as he drifted off to sleep, then she too closed her eyes and slept.

Natalie sat at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette and staring into the coffee in front of her. This was a morning tradition for her, a moment of quiet before the day’s events, a time to go over the things that had being weighing down in her mind. She wasn’t an early riser, this break from the outside world would always take place after Ben had gone to work, and with him at home for the last two months, she realised she missed this little piece of privacy.