Daniel Annechino - Hypocrisy

After a long searching look, Ashley asked, “Why did you give me up for adoption?”

The question pierced Dupree’s conscience like a dagger. “Because I was a self-destructive, stupid kid. I had no business being a mother and I wanted you to have a good life.”

“How come you never tried to find me all these years? Didn’t you want to have some kind of relationship with your flesh and blood daughter? I mean, weren’t you curious about me, who I was?”

“You have no idea how many times I desperately tried to find you.” Dupree explained the confidentiality clause in the adoption agreement. “I even hired three private detectives, but all of my attempts to locate you failed.” Dupree had her own questions but wanted to tread lightly. “When did you find out that you were adopted?”

“My parents… well, I mean step-parents actually, told me on my fifth birthday. They believed it would have less of an impact if I found out at a young age.”

“Did you ever ask your parents to search for me?”

“No.” Ashley’s face tightened. “I assumed you wanted nothing to do with me, so I never made an attempt to contact you .”

Both Dupree and Ashley studied each other’s eyes.

“Tell me about your parents.”

“They’re really wonderful people. They’ve always been supportive of me and have always treated me like their own daughter.”

Dupree was delighted to hear that. But she couldn’t help but wonder if she would have been as good a parent. The mere thought of it, choked her up again. “So, Ashley, where do you live?

“In Thousand Oaks, a suburb of Los Angeles.”

“About how far is it from San Diego?”

“If the freeway traffic is moving, which isn’t very often, it’s about a ninety-minute ride.”

“What are you doing right now? In college? Working?”

“Freshman year at UCLA.”

“That’s fantastic! What course of study?”

“Earth and Environmental Science.”

“So, what kind of career are you looking for?”

“Not sure yet.” Ashley pointed to the lush greenery around them. “I’ll probably become a tree-hugger.”

After another twenty minutes of small talk, Dupree looked at her watch. “Where are you staying?”

“At the Yotel in Times Square. I know. The name is strange but it’s a really nice place.”

“I never heard of it, but New York has thousands of hotels. How long are you going to be in New York?”

“I leave midday on Monday. I wanted to stay longer, but orientation begins next Wednesday.”

Dupree had experienced her share of emotional pain throughout her life. But the mere thought of her daughter leaving on Monday was more than she could bear.

“Here’s a crazy thought,” Dupree said, her voice unsteady. “Why don’t you check out of your hotel and come stay with me until you leave? I could be your tour guide and show you the city.”

Ashley didn’t answer immediately. Instead she stared past Dupree with a peculiar look on her face. Was Dupree pushing too hard? Did her invitation place Ashley in an awkward situation?

“I’d love to, but are you sure that’s okay? I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”

Dupree let out a heavy breath of relief. “I’ve been searching for you for eighteen years, Sweetheart. Trust me, it’s not at all inconvenient.”

To Dupree, driving Ashley to the airport proved far more painful than when she’d first given her up for adoption. As a confused teenager, what had Dupree known about love, family, or parenthood? But now, after years of emotional torture and profound guilt, having no idea when or if she’d ever see Ashley again, Dupree felt gripped with fear and apprehension. Although Ashley’s behavior during her visit suggested that she was thrilled to finally meet her biological mother, once back home in a familiar and safe environment, perhaps Ashley would conclude that she didn’t need her biological mother to be part of her life.

Dupree and Ashley exchanged few words; the mood in the car was oppressive. Dupree kept taking her eyes off the road and looking at her daughter’s pretty face. She wanted each glance to be like a photograph etched in her mind, a snapshot she could recall whenever she needed to fill the emptiness in her heart.

As expected, the time she had spent with Ashley seemed like a nanosecond. But Dupree couldn’t believe how much they’d crammed into such a short period.

“So,” Dupree said, mouth so dry she was unable to swallow, “tell me… what do you think of New York?”

“It’s awesome. I just love it!”

“Out of everything we did and the landmarks we visited, what was your favorite?”

“I loved the Statue of Liberty, the Guggenheim Museum, and of course the pizza.

But…” She paused and firmly held Dupree’s hand. “What I enjoyed most was getting to know you.”

Merging onto the entrance ramp for Interstate 678, Dupree wasn’t sure she could restrain herself much longer. In less than twenty minutes, she’d drop Ashley off at the terminal and her daughter would soon be on a plane back to LA. Dupree’s emotions were so bottled up inside that she just wanted to pull the car onto the shoulder, hold Ashley tight, and cry like she never cried before. She had no idea how she’d found the strength to hold it together as long as she had.

A burning question hung in the back of Dupree’s throat—a question she felt terrified to ask. But the terminal was just ahead and time was running short. “When do you think I’ll see you again, Ashley?”

“Once I start school, my schedule will likely be crazy-busy. I haven’t yet seen the school calendar—I guess they’ll go over that during the orientation on Wednesday. But I’m sure I’ll be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and of course, spring break. I doubt I’ll be able to visit you in New York until next summer. But you’re more than welcome to visit me in LA anytime—even during the school year. I might not have a lot of free time, but I’m sure I can juggle my schedule.”

Ashley sounded sincere and her open invitation eased Dupree’s angst. “You may just see me sooner than you think. I’m planning a vacation to San Diego to meet a friend, and maybe—”

“That’s fantastic! I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. No matter how busy I am with school, I’ll find a way to spend some time with you.”

Dupree pulled to the curb, turned on her hazard lights, and flipped the trunk release. She and Ashley met at the back of the car. She helped her daughter remove the luggage and closed the trunk lid.

“Well,” Dupree said. “I guess this is it.”

They held each other tightly, and Dupree kissed Ashley’s cheek and patted her back. “I love you, Ashley. I thank God for bringing you into my life.”

Ashley blinked several times, her eyes were wet with tears. She reached in her purse and removed a manila envelope. “This is for you.”

“What is it?”

“See for yourself.”

Dupree was about to tear open the envelope when an airport security guard waved his flashlight. “Let’s move it along. This is a drop-off-pick-up area only.”

Dupree thought about flashing her badge, but didn’t want to risk a confrontation in front of Ashley. Some TSA agents abused their authority and knew little about professional courtesy.

“Call me when you get to LA.”

“I will. And you can call me, text me, or send an e-mail anytime. We can even Skype.”

“I’ll keep in touch, Honey.”

“As soon as you confirm your trip to the west coast, let me know.”

“I will.”

Dupree watched her daughter enter the terminal. She didn’t think it was physically possible but felt certain her heart shivered. The annoying airport security guard again waved his flashlight.