Simon Green: The Dark Side of the Road

The vampire hauled Penny forward, to stand her between the two of us. Penny cried out as dead fingers sank deep into her arm, and then she stopped abruptly as Sylvia put her face right beside hers, resting her rotting chin on Penny’s shoulder. Fresh blood dripped off Sylvia’s face, running down to stain the top of Penny’s dress. She stood very still and looked at me imploringly. I gave her my best reassuring smile.

‘Now, Ishmael,’ said Sylvia. ‘Throw away that nasty wooden stake.’

I looked at the walking stick in my hand and let it drop to the floor. I kicked it away. It made a small, sad sound as it rolled across the floor.

‘Now,’ said Sylvia, ‘come forward, dear Ishmael, and surrender yourself to me.’

‘Why would I do a thing like that?’ I said.

‘Because if you do, I’ll let little Penny go.’

‘No, Ishmael!’ Penny said immediately. ‘She’ll kill you! And still kill me anyway! You know that … Get out of here, Ishmael. Just … leave.’

‘Hush, hush,’ I said. ‘There’s nowhere to go, Penny. And anyway, I wouldn’t leave you, even if I could.’

‘Oh dear,’ said Sylvia. ‘I hate it when they go all maudlin and sentimental.’

‘You really think I’d trust you?’ I said. ‘To keep your word?’

The vampire laughed breathily. ‘You don’t have a choice. Because, dear Ishmael, if you don’t do exactly as I say … I will bite dear little Penny here, in a very special way. And make her like me. Forever and ever and ever. I could use a companion …’

She opened her mouth wide, blood still dripping from her teeth, and set the points daintily against Penny’s neck. Penny shuddered violently despite herself and squeezed her eyes shut; she couldn’t stop the tears rolling down her cheeks.

‘All right!’ I said. ‘All right … That’s enough. Please, don’t hurt her. Look. I’m coming forward.’

I moved slowly towards them, across the drawing room, one step at a time, while Sylvia watched with bright, hungry eyes.

‘Please, Ishmael, don’t,’ Penny whispered. ‘She’ll kill you. And I wouldn’t want to live anyway, without you.’

‘Quiet, child,’ said Sylvia. ‘You won’t care about any of that, soon.’

‘It’s all right, Penny,’ I said. ‘I know what I’m doing.’

Sylvia waited till the very last moment, and then threw Penny to the floor. Hard enough to drive all the breath out of her, and keep her from interfering. Sylvia grabbed me by one arm and pulled me to her, those unnaturally bright eyes fixed on mine. And then her head snapped forward, and she sank her teeth into my neck. It hurt like hell, but I wouldn’t let myself cry out. I made myself stand my ground, and not struggle, even as a horrid soul-deep revulsion ran through me. I clenched my hands into fists at my sides as she bit deeply into my throat, nuzzling the side of my face with her own. I could feel the strength draining out of me … Until Sylvia suddenly jerked her head back and threw me away from her. She staggered backwards, looking at me incredulously. She was shaking and shuddering as my blood dripped from her mouth.

My golden blood.

‘You should have listened, Sylvia,’ I said. ‘I told you I wasn’t from around here.’

Sylvia screamed. Smoke issued from her mouth. My blood was no good for her. It poisoned her; ate her up, from the inside out. Her decaying flesh darkened and fell apart. Her hands dropped off her wrists, and great wounds opened up all over her body. She fell to the floor, screaming and screaming as she fell apart, until finally there was nothing left of her but a bloody sludge on the floor, already dissipating and disappearing.

I hurried over to Penny and helped her back up on to her feet again. We clung together for a long long moment. I could feel my strength coming back, but for the moment I let her hold me up. She needed to do that, and I needed her. Eventually, we let go and looked each other over.

Penny put a hand to my neck. ‘The wound; it’s almost gone! You still look a mess, though.’ She produced a handkerchief from somewhere and pressed it to the side of my neck.

‘It’s all right,’ she said. ‘It’s a clean one.’

We shared a smile.

‘It’s over,’ I said. ‘It’s finally over …’

‘So that was your plan,’ said Penny. ‘I never saw that one coming, and neither did she. Were you really sure it would work?’

‘Of course,’ I lied.

‘You did that for me. Risked your life, for me.’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I couldn’t let her kill you.’

‘You wanted to kill her, for what she did to your Colonel,’ said Penny.

‘But I killed her for you,’ I said. ‘It’s all right. The Colonel would have understood.’

Penny smiled. ‘I think … this could be the start of a wonderful romance.’

‘Yes,’ I said.

The storm blew itself out by morning.

By the times Jeeves’ people arrived, well after breakfast, the wind had stopped blowing and the snow had stopped falling, and there wasn’t a trace of fog anywhere on the crisp clear morning air. I heard the security people coming long before they arrived, stomping and trudging and cursing their way up the snow-packed drive because they couldn’t get their transportation any further. So Penny and I were already there, sensibly dressed for the cold, waiting for them at the front door. A dozen men and women, in matching anonymous quasi-military outfits. A competent enough bunch. They didn’t seem all that happy to see me and Penny, or to learn the emergency was over and everyone but us was dead, including the killer, and that Jeeves and Leilah were among the fallen.

The team leader didn’t even want to tell us who they worked for. I was used to that. You meet a lot of people who don’t officially exist, in my line of work. The team leader was all set to launch into serious interrogation mode, and I was getting ready to tell him where to stick it and provide a physical demonstration if necessary, when another figure came striding confidently up the drive to join us. The team leader took one look at him and immediately hurried off to be busy somewhere else.

The new arrival was a sharp-faced sort, in his mid-thirties, with a military moustache, wearing a smart tweed suit and rugged hiking boots, and I knew who he was immediately. Who he had to be. He took charge with calm efficiency, sending the security people into the house to start the clean up. They brushed past Penny and me as though we weren’t there, loudly conferring with each other as to how many body bags they’d need and whose job it would be to go back to the van for them.

The newcomer looked steadily at me and Penny. ‘Hello, Ishmael. And Miss Belcourt. I am the Colonel.’

‘Funny,’ I said. ‘You don’t look like the Colonel.’

‘I am the new Colonel. The King is dead, long live the King, and all that. There is always a Colonel to represent the Organization.’

‘I suppose you’ll do,’ I said.

The Colonel raised an eyebrow, briefly. ‘My predecessor wrote in his files that you were frequently insubordinate. Apparently, he admired that in you. I do not.’

‘Tough,’ I said.

I met his gaze, and the Colonel went into the house to take charge of the clean up. I let him. I didn’t see any reason to get involved. By the end of the day, every disturbing piece of evidence would have been sanitized or destroyed, all the bodies would have disappeared, and a cover story would be set firmly in place. No one in the everyday world would ever have to know what really happened here.

‘How will they explain all the deaths?’ said Penny, after I’d run through the procedure for her.