Lars Kepler - The Sandman

There’s no way she can get loose – she’s entirely helpless in this position, with her arms over her head and her legs pulled so far apart that her inner thighs must be aching.

Anders just stands there, watching her shake her head, and feels his heart beat faster, harder. Slowly he undoes his trousers as he sees her crotch start to glisten with moisture.

Joona enters the patient’s room and sees an older man sitting by the boy’s bed. It takes him a few seconds to realise that it’s Reidar Frost. It’s been years since he last saw him, but he’s aged considerably more than that. The young man is asleep, but Reidar is sitting there holding his left hand in both of his.

‘You never believed my children had drowned,’ the father says in a muted voice.

‘No,’ Joona replies.

Reidar’s gaze rests on Mikael’s sleeping face, then he turns to Joona and says:

‘Thank you for not telling me about the murderer.’

The suspicion that Mikael and Felicia Kohler-Frost had been among Jurek Walter’s victims had been strengthened by the fact it was via the children that he had been tracked down and arrested, and that he had first been spotted by Joona and Samuel below their mother’s window.

Joona looks at the young man’s thin face, his straggly beard, his sunken cheeks and the beads of sweat on his forehead.

When Mikael had talked about the way things were at the start, when there were more of them and he met Rebecka Mendel, he had been talking about the first few weeks of Jurek Walter’s isolation, Joona thinks.

Since then more than a decade of imprisonment has gone by.

But Mikael managed to escape – it must be possible to find out where from.

‘I never stopped looking,’ Joona says quietly to Reidar.

Reidar looks at his son and his face cracks into an uncontrollable smile. He has been sitting like that for hours, and still can’t get enough of just gazing at his child.

‘They’re saying he’s going to be fine. They’ve promised, they’ve promised there’s nothing wrong with him,’ he says in a rough voice.

‘Have you talked to him?’ Joona asks.

‘He’s been given a lot of painkillers, so he’s mostly been asleep, but they say that’s good, it’s what he needs.’

‘I’m sure it is,’ Joona agrees.

‘He’s going to be fine... mentally, I mean. It will just take a bit of time.’

‘Has he said anything at all?’

‘He’s whispered things to me, but not so that I can hear them,’ Reidar says. ‘It just sounds confused. But he recognised me.’

Joona knows it’s important to start talking about things right from the outset. Remembering is an important part of the healing process. Mikael needs time, but he mustn’t be left to himself. As time goes by the questions can gradually probe deeper, but there’s always a risk that a traumatised person will shut off entirely.

And there’s no real rush, Joona reminds himself.

It could take months to map out everything that’s happened, but he does need to ask the most important question today.

I need to find out if Mikael knows who the accomplice is, he thinks, feeling his heart beating faster again.

If he can just get a name or a decent description, this nightmare could be over.

‘I have to talk to him as soon as he wakes up,’ Joona says. ‘I just need to ask him a few very specific questions, but he might find it a bit difficult.’

‘As long as it doesn’t frighten him,’ Reidar says. ‘I can’t let that happen...’

He falls silent when a nurse comes in. She says hello quietly, then checks Mikael’s pulse and oxygen levels.

‘His hands have gone cold,’ Reidar tells her.

‘I’m going to give him some antipyretics soon,’ the nurse assures him.

‘He is getting antibiotics, isn’t he?’

‘Yes, but it can take a couple of days before those start to work,’ the nurse says with a reassuring smile as she hangs a new infusion bag on the drip-stand.

Reidar helps her, standing up and holding the tube out of the way to make it easier for her, then walks to the door with her.

‘I want to talk to the doctor,’ he says.

Mikael sighs and whispers something to himself. Reidar stops and turns round. Joona leans forward and tries to hear what he’s saying.

Mikael’s breathing has speeded up, and he’s tossing his head, whispering something. He opens his eyes and stares at Joona with a haunted expression.

‘You’ve got to help me, I can’t lie here,’ he says. ‘I can’t bear it, I can’t bear it, my sister’s waiting for me, I can feel her the whole time, I can feel...’

Reidar hurries over and takes his hand, holds it to his cheek.

‘Mikael, I know,’ he whispers, then gulps hard.

‘Dad...’

‘I know, Mikael, I think about her all the time...’

‘Dad,’ Mikael cries with an anguished voice. ‘I can’t bear it, I can’t, I...’

‘Calm down,’ Reidar reassures him.

‘She’s alive, Felicia’s alive,’ he cries. ‘I can’t lie here, I’ve got to...’

He lets out a long, rattling cough. Reidar holds his head up and tries to help him. He keeps saying soothing things to his son, but Mikael’s eyes are burning with boundless panic.

He sinks back onto the pillow, gasping and whispering inaudibly to himself as tears run down his cheeks.

‘What were you saying about Felicia?’ Reidar asks calmly.

‘I don’t want to,’ Mikael gasps. ‘I can’t just lie here...’

‘Mikael,’ Reidar interrupts. ‘You need to be clearer.’

‘I can’t bear it...’

‘You said that Felicia is alive,’ Reidar repeats. ‘Why did you say that?’

‘I left her, I left her behind,’ Mikael sobs. ‘I ran, and I left her behind.’

‘Are you saying that Felicia is still alive?’ Reidar asks, for the third time.

‘Yes, Dad,’ Mikael whispers, tears streaming down his cheeks.

‘Dear God in heaven,’ his father whispers, stroking his son’s head with a trembling hand. ‘Dear God in heaven.’

Mikael coughs violently, a cloud of blood billows into the tube and he gasps for air, then coughs again and lies there panting.

‘We were together the whole time, Dad. In the darkness, on the floor... but I left her.’

Mikael falls silent, as though every last drop of strength has been exhausted. His eyes suddenly seem clouded and tired.

Reidar looks at his son with a face that has lost all trace of stability and abandoned any attempt at a façade.

‘You have to tell us...’

His voice cracks, he takes a deep breath and then goes on:

‘Mikael, you know you have to tell us where she is so I can go and get her...’

‘She’s still there... Felicia’s still there,’ Mikael says weakly. ‘She’s still there. I can feel her, she’s scared...’

‘Mikael,’ Reidar pleads.

‘She’s scared, because she’s on her own... She can’t bear it, she always wakes up at night crying until she realises I’m there...’

Reidar feels his chest tighten. Big patches of sweat have formed under the arms of his shirt.

Reidar can hear what Mikael’s saying, but he’s still having trouble absorbing the significance. He stands beside his son’s bed, looking at him and speaking in a soothing voice.

But his thoughts are going round in circles, around one single idea. He has to find Felicia. She mustn’t be left on her own.

He stares into the middle distance, then walks heavily over to the window. Far below some sparrows are sitting in the bare rose bushes. Some dogs have pissed in the snow under a lamppost. Over at the bus stop a glove is lying beneath the bench.