Elmore Leonard - Up in Honey's Room

He seemed to like the idea, but was still suspicious, being on the run, a fugitive.

Honey said, “I imagine Vera would just as soon you weren’t here. But don’t leave unless you know where you’re going. I mean to a friend who’ll hide you, not to some hotel. If you don’t have a friend, Jesus, outside of Walter, you must’ve been a loner when you lived here that time, more interested in what was going on than having buddies.” She paused for a moment and said, “Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know you.”

“All I can say is take me on my word, it’s good as gold.” She said, “I’m willing to help you out, Jurgen.”

“Become complicit in a German soldier’s escape?”

“We’re in the eye of the storm,” Honey said. “It’s calm in here. The FBI’s leaving you alone. Carl can’t touch you. It’s like a time-out in football. You and Carl can get together, have a few drinks and talk, decide what you want to do next. You want to leave, Carl has to let you walk away.”

Jurgen said, “Why are you getting involved in this?”

“Why’d I marry Walter?”

“Why did you?”

“Don’t ask hard questions,” Honey said. “I have a place where you can meet Carl and tell war stories to each other. Yes or no?”

“What you’re telling me,” Jurgen said, “I’m no longer important as an escaped German soldier?”

Almost sounding offended.

“For the time being,” Honey said.

“But I might be a spy. So they have to wait to see what I do?”

Honey said, “If it was okay for Carl to pick you up, you think we’d be standing here talking? You’d be on your way to Oklahoma.”

“But you say he doesn’t know what you’re trying to arrange.”

“I told you, I hadn’t thought of it yet.”

“So you don’t know what he’ll say about it.”

Maybe she was trying too hard.

“It’s up to you,” Honey said. “You want to come with me, I’ll ask Walter to give us a ride when he’s ready.”

“Yes, and where would we be going?”

“To my place,” Honey said, “my apartment.”

See if that stirred him any.

Bohdan and Dr. Taylor were on the sofa talking, Bo animated, using his hands. Vera wasn’t anywhere in sight, or Joe Aubrey. Honey couldn’t imagine them off together somewhere in the house. There was Walter sitting by himself with his schnapps, raising the glass to have a sip, but now he saw her and came to his feet. Rehearsed, Honey would bet, ready for her.

As she moved toward Walter, Bohdan and Dr. Taylor were going to the front door together still talking. She watched Bohdan open the door, put his hand on the doctor’s shoulder saying good night and closed the door. Now he was looking this way. Giving her a smile? Now he was flitting up the curved stairway to the second floor, leaving her with Walter, Walter standing in her face as she turned to him.

“I want to tell you what I’m going to do,” Walter said, “and what I would like you to do for me.”

Honey thought of her dog Bits, hit by a car when she was a little girl, and said, “Vera told me, Walter,” with a catch in her voice.

“I think of Germany,” Walter said, “at the time we were married setting forth on its conquest of Europe, a time that offered me the great adventure of my life, if I were to take advantage of the opportunity.”

Honey, trying her best to look interested, wondered how long this would take. It was like trying to hold a smile while someone told a boring story that was supposed to be funny.

“Now the war is coming to an end,” Walter said, “while I have given nothing of myself for Germany and the Führer. All that remains is that I give my life. It will be my gift to the Führer for his fifty-sixth birthday.”

Honey said, “Walter . . .” But then what?

Walter said, “Honig,” and it saved her for the moment. “As I prepare to sacrifice my life, there is something you can give me. In honor of our time together.”

She said, “Really?” but saw it coming and wanted to tell him no, please.

“A son,” Walter said, “to bear the name Walter Helmut Schoen after I am gone.”

It stopped her. “Helmut, that’s your middle name?” She said, “There isn’t time, Walter.”

“He will be conceived tomorrow.”

“I’m not ovulating. I know, because you feel different when you can make a baby.”

“We can try, Honig, and pray,” Walter said.

He was talking about screwing her sometime tomorrow. She thought of herself in bed with Walter during the day. Their first time with sunlight on the shades pulled down. He’d have his first good look at her bush, dark as the roots of her hair. He’d see that too and scream at her, “You lied to me, you Gypsy slut.” Strange? She thought of this first?

“Tomorrow morning,” Walter said.

“I’ve got the curse.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You can’t conceive during your period.”

“We try,” Walter said. “Maybe God will help us. You know we met in front of the cathedral.”

He was different. His voice was different, more German. He had made up his mind he was taking her to bed tomorrow morning. But it couldn’t be tomorrow. She’d have Jurgen. Yeah...? But would she be with him all day? Carl would come by. If there was a reason she had to see Walter tomorrow she could probably find the time. Whatever the reason. Though it wouldn’t be to go to bed with him, old Mr. Serious, Mr. Speedy Von Schoen. She said, “Walter, don’t ever make a promise when you’ve been drinking you’re gonna do something.”

“I’ve been thinking of it since I heard of Warm Springs, where polio victims and your president go to bathe in the mineral waters.”

“He’s your president too, Walter. Remember my saying that to you in front of the cathedral?”

Looking at her, his glasses glistening in lamplight, Walter said, “I still love you, Honig.”

His eyes raised and Honey turned enough to see Bohdan coming toward them from the staircase.

He said to Walter, “Old friend, Mr. Aubrey won’t be going back with you. He and Vera are talking business of some sort, I don’t know what. When they’ve talked themselves out I can drive Mr. Aubrey to your farm. He likes to tease me-you know how he is- but I don’t mind, it’s all in fun.” Bo seemed about to walk away but paused and said to Walter, “Old sport, it’s a noble thing you’re doing for the Führer. It will give him the strength to go on.”

Honey watched Bo heading for the staircase, Bo throwing his head to make his hair bounce. She said to Walter, “I have to ask you a huge favor. Do you love me?”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Walter frowning as he said it.

“I have to hide Jurgen. Can he ride with us?”

“Take him where?”

“My apartment. I’ll put him in the storage room full of junk and spiders, and a cot he can sleep on,” Honey said, “so you won’t be arrested for helping him out. You can keep your mind on the assassination.”

“But tomorrow,” Walter said, “you’ll be with Jurgen? How will I see you?”

“It doesn’t mean I have to stay with him,” Honey said, maybe going too far, as usual, but at the moment curious about Walter, if he was still a complete bore in bed. A thought flashed in her mind and she saw no reason not to say it. “Give me a call, let’s see what we can arrange.”

Vera was at rest in her bedroom wearing a gauzy yellow negligee Bo could see through, Vera standing by the window so he could look all he wanted. The room was dim, dramatic, Bo thought, almost theatrical, a bedside lamp holding Joe Aubrey in a soft glow, Joe sprawled on his back in the double bed, his naked body round and white down to his black socks and garters. Bo stood by the bed for a close look, Joe’s mouth open, wet snores dribbling out of him, before crossing the room to the goddess on her love seat smoking a cigarette, a white ceramic ashtray resting on her crotch.