Ник Харкуэй - Angelmaker

Yes, thinks Joe Spork. That is indeed wonderful. However, it is also somewhat insane and a bit on the weird side .

The bees are still sitting on the outside of the hive, soaking up the last rays of the weakling sun. They look like tiny holidaymakers on their towels. Joe experiences a jolt of alarm when one of them flies up and circles him curiously, bumping into his forehead, before realising that it must be a real bee which alighted on the hive while he was talking to Sholt. There are real bees all around, of course, in the real hives.

And what did you make of these things? he asks the departing insect. Did you find them beautiful? Or did they frighten you? Will you declare war on the metal monsters? Or try to make love to them?

“Do you mind if I take pictures?” Joe asks.

“Go ahead,” Sholt says, almost limply. “It’s started now. The only thing to do is wait and see. But have a care, Spork the Clock. There are men who will come. Shadows and ghosts.” Sholt stoops, and grasps up the fallen bee from the hive, passes it to Joe. “For luck.”

Joe is about to object, though he very much wants to accept, when Billy Friend stands heavily on his foot.

“Well, that’s marvellous,” Billy says cheerfully, to cover Joe’s muted cry of agony. “Top notch. This is quite some place you have here, Ted. Do give us a call.” He presents his card with both hands, Japanese style, and Ted takes it the same way and bows over it. “If you should need any more work done, Friend & Company will be pleased to advise you and assist, subject to the normal fees and suchlike, of course. And there we are, all good.” Billy backs away a little nervously, as if Sholt may leap on him again.

“Yes,” Sholt says. “It is good. Perhaps we can save the real bees. We really should. The truth will be known.” And then the fog comes down over his face again, abruptly, as if he has been holding it at bay all this time and suddenly it has slipped past him. “You should go,” he says. “It’s not safe here. Not now. Not any more. They’ll come. They will. This will be the first place. Go quickly. Use the back stairs.” He hustles them over to the far door by the open windows, and Billy Friend makes a noise like a dog swallowing a whole squirrel as Sholt throws open the door and the sound of the sea comes not inward but upward.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Billy says, going very pale, and when Joe looks down, he understands immediately why.

The greenhouse is perched on the very edge of the cliff, the land beneath eaten away by the waves. The entire back half of the room protrudes over the abyss. This gallery, with its weathered planks and rusted rail, is more than twenty feet out above a thrashing, white-capped sea.

“Go!” Sholt yells. “It’s not safe!” And Billy tells him no, it fucking isn’t, and bolts for the rear stairs and down to the car.

As they drive away, Billy’s lead foot firmly on the pedal and a stream of furious invective pouring from him, Joe glances back, and sees Ted Sholt outlined against the sky, arms flung wide in a gesture to part the waters. Answering his prayer, a great cloud of bees rises up from the greenhouse and into the air, a swarming, gyrating fog which wraps him and wheels around him, then arrows up and out over the sea. Joe has a brief, mad notion that the tiny clockwork robots have taken flight, and wonders if this means he has committed some sort of robbery or been an artificial midwife.

“I have no idea, Joseph,” Billy Friend says, and Joe realises he must have spoken aloud, “but one point on which I am very clear is that we should retire to the bloody pub and never speak of this day again.”

Sholt is still watching the bees—perhaps fearing that they will never come back, insulted by their metal siblings—when Billy grinds the gears and takes the car down into a dip, and the greenhouse is lost from view.

Tess has gone home when they return to the Gryffin, but the landlord gives Joe a pitying look which says the story of his ineptitude has not been kept entirely out of the public domain.

“Would you give her my best?”

“Could do. Better idea might be if you came back at the weekend. Gave it to her yourself. There’s a place in town does a decent bite.”

“You think she’d like that?”

“I think you’ll never find out if you don’t come back and see.”

Joe Spork sulks at himself. Of all the things he cannot do, the one he perhaps most despises in himself is his inability to flirt, and to move from flirting to more serious things. It is one reason he always ends up with impatient women, which is, in turn, why he is rarely in a relationship for very long and why the ones which last are usually rather sterile.

He shrugs off his gloom and reviews the day, flicking through pictures on his camera and contemplating in his mind his small treasures: the bee and the whojimmy. Amazing.

“Where did you come from?” he asks the collection, a little surprised by the loudness of his own voice. “Who made that thing back there?”

As if in answer, his fingers find an irregularity on the pommel, a dimple. He pokes at it with a thumbnail. A piece of silvered wax falls away—a jeweller’s trick, metalled wax to conceal a flaw. He picks off another and then another, and another, until a shiny metal crest is revealed: the same sketchy angular symbol like an inside-out umbrella or a trident.

“Billy?”

Billy Friend, who immediately upon arriving back at the pub began the process of seducing a bubbly, bounteous American woman who is on a walking tour of the British Isles, is being taught how to say “You are very attractive” the way they do it in Idaho.

“Billy, come and look at this.”

“I’m looking at something else here, Joseph. Two somethings, in fact.”

“Billy…”

“My darling, would you excuse me? My boring friend over there needs the benefit of my enormous brain.”

His inamorata makes some sort of off-colour comment of which Billy greatly approves, but releases him. Billy ambles over.

“Billy, do you know what this is?”

Billy Friend produces a jeweller’s glass and pops it majestically into his right eye. This evidence of his prowess and wisdom does not go unnoticed.

“Hello, hello… yes, all right, yes, very good… fine. Didn’t expect to see that here.”

“You know what it is?”

“No need to sound so surprised, Joseph.”

“It’s on the book as well. I’m right? I have seen it around somewhere?”

“As to that, I’ve no idea. But I do know what it means.”

“Well?”

“Hah! Don’t let young Tess see you with it. She’ll never look at you the same way. It’s a webbed foot, isn’t it? It means someone unclean.”

“Unclean?”

“In a nutshell. Look, my lot have been in the Waiting game only so long, right? Matter of economic necessity with us, and then it turned out we was good at it. But others, like I told you, they’ve been around a while. And back in the old, old days, right, some people were considered unclean by birth. They weren’t allowed to be around proper folks and they had to wear a goose leg when they were in public so people’d know not to touch ’em. Lepers, maybe. Or redheads. Maybe they really did have webbed feet. Who knows? So they ended up gravediggers and coffin-makers and all that. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take that young lady over there to Heaven and back, and I don’t want any discussion of sewers. All right?”

“All right. Have fun.”

“One of us has to. Be a shame to die grumpy, wouldn’t it?”