Steve Hamilton - A Cold Day in Paradise

AUGUST 22

I have been bad about writing. So many things have happened. I have been in communication with Maximilian Rose although I just call him Rose now. It sounds so perfect. Everything makes sense now for the first time in my life. The hate in my heart has been turned upside down by what Rose has shown me. I have so much power now because I am plugged into something bigger than myself. Rose has made me see all of this. He told me a secret about Alex. There is something very special and important about him. I do not even know what that means yet but Rose promised he would tell me more. I cannot wait until the next time I communicate with him. Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

SEPTEMBER 13

I am learning more every day. I am shedding my old self like a snake sheds his skin. I see the reason for all of this and how I fit into the overall design. When I go out now I see people and I can see if they are good or bad people just by looking at their faces and listening to the way they talk. There are so many bad people everywhere I go. Rose says this is to be expected because Alex is here now. I think something big is about to happen. I can feel it. I think Rose is going to give me something very big very soon.

OCTOBER 9

I am Rose. I will say it again and again. I am Rose. This was the gift that Rose gave me. His spirit flew to me and came down on my shoulders like a bird from the heavens. Now I am Rose and Rose is me. I can see everything now. Alex is the chosen one. I dare to say it out loud. He is the chosen one because he was shot three times. This means that the holy trinity has moved through him. The third bullet is still inside him. It is a spirit inside him that hums to the same frequency as the spirit inside me. I have work to do now. It is important work that I must finish before the last words are written for all time.

A sickness spread through my stomach as I read. Then a sudden noise tore me from it. There was someone at the back door. Prudell looked at me with wide eyes and then he dove on the floor. I stood there frozen, waiting for the door to open, for the policeman to come in and to shine his flashlight in my face. But the door never opened.

I crept to the back door and looked out the window. A great raccoon had turned over the trashcan. “Get out of here!” I hissed. “Go!”

The raccoon just looked at me.

“Move it, you big fat-assed bastard,” I said as I cracked the door open.

The raccoon finally pulled himself away from the garbage and lumbered into the woods. I stood there by the door for a minute, trying to will my heart rate back into double digits.

“Do you think the cop heard that noise?” Prudell said. He was still sitting on the floor.

“I don’t know,” I said. I went back to the front window and peeked through the blinds. The police car was still dark. “God, I hope he’s asleep or at least hard of hearing.” When I was sure he wasn’t on his way up to the house, I finished reading the pages.

NOVEMBER 1

Everything is in motion now. It is all happening so fast. I have removed a bad man. He was speaking evil things to a man named Edwin who is close to Alex. It is no accident that there is so much evil around here with all of the casinos and the men who gamble their souls away. It felt good to remove the man. Finally I can do something real. I called Alex on the phone because it turns out he actually got to see what I had done for him. He saw it with his own eyes. I am filled with happiness because this must be a good sign that he would see it. I wonder when I should tell him who I am now.

NOVEMBER 3

Everything is in a mad rush now but I feel total peace inside myself. I removed another bad man who was speaking the same evil as the first man. I can tell that they are gathering from all corners of the world but I am not worried. I know what must be done and I know that I can do it. I gave a note to Alex right on his door for him to see. I told him I am Rose and I am here for him now. Everything that has been promised will come to pass. I never knew that blood was so red. It is more red than a kiss and even more powerful.

NOVEMBER 6

I barely have time to write. Everything is coming together now just as it should. Even though Alex has so many walls around him I know it is all part of the plan. I know that the man named Edwin who was close to him was like Judas himself. He needed to be removed. I was even more careful with the blood this time. I gave another note to Alex and I even told him my new theory about the blood being more powerful than the microwaves and how Edwin is at the bottom of the lake where he will never stand in the way again. I think it is almost time to go to Alex. I must sleep now so that I will have strength and courage for the final task.

NOVEMBER 7

It is time. I can barely type I am so excited. It is time to go to Alex and to take him through the door. I know he must feel fear and even a little pain but I also know that in the end it will all be worth it. I know I can make it all happen the way it must happen. I know the gun he has is not a real gun at all. It is only an illusion meant to fool bad men and it can never hurt me. It is all part of the plan just like a dance with two parts. Now I will do my part and he will do his. And when it is over we will be together forever.

I read his last words and then I closed the folder. I wanted to see something else that would help me make sense of it. Drags, a needle, a syringe. Some chemical excuse for this utter madness. There was nothing.

“Let’s get the hell out of here,” I said.

“Make sure you put it all back the way you found it,” Prudell said.

“It is.”

“No, I mean exactly. The folders were right on top of each other before.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said.

“You know they took pictures,” he said. “They’ll notice if that top folder has been moved a few inches.”

“Just get out,” I said. “Go.” I didn’t care if anyone knew I had been here. They could have busted the door down right then, put me in handcuffs. As long as they got me the hell out of that place.

I hustled him out the back door. I stood there breathing in the cold night air as he carefully reapplied the police tape. “Come on,” I said. “I told you it doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t be a fool, McKnight.” He worked on it until it was perfect, and then we finally made our way back through the woods to my truck.

We got in. I started the engine and pulled away, retracing our way through all the tree-named streets and then the number streets, back to the highway. Neither of us said anything for a long time. There was only the sound of the wind rushing through the open window. It was cold enough to hurt, but I wanted it to hurt. I wanted to feel something real, something I could understand.

“What did it say?” Prudell finally asked.

I thought about it for a minute. I didn’t know what to say, so I just shook my head. He didn’t press it.

When we got back to his restaurant, he got out of the truck and went right to his car.

“Hey,” I said. “Aren’t you going back to work?”

“I think tonight was probably my third strike here,” he said.

“So you’re saying I got you fired from another job?”

“This one I don’t mind so much,” he said.

“Let me pay you your five hundred dollars, at least.”

“Forget it,” he said. “I don’t want your money.”

“For what it’s worth,” I said, “I appreciate your help.”

He came back to the window. “For what it’s worth,” he said, “I’m sorry I roughed you up the other night.”

“You mean at the bar? The night you swung at me twenty times and missed and then I put you down with one punch? That night?”

“One punch, my ass,” he said. “I slipped on the gravel.