William Rabkin - The Call of the Mild

But Shawn seemed to be taking his defeat in stride. He put out his hand for his father to shake. “You really won’t get fooled again,” he said. “They need you at the police station in the morning.”

Henry took his hand. “We’ll do right by you, son.”

“Just make sure you change first.”

Henry glanced down at his sweat-soaked rock and roll clothes. “I don’t know,” he said, “I’m getting to like this look.”

The cabin door banged shut and Henry was gone. Gus moved out of his corner, finally feeling free to fill his lungs more than halfway. “What do you want to do now?” he said. “Because if you don’t have any plans, there’s a bookstore in town with a tree growing in the middle of it. I’ve always wanted to see that.”

Shawn stared at him as if he’d suggested they pass the afternoon at a Wiggles performance. “Are you kidding?” he said. “We’ve got work to do.”

“On what?”

“On our case.”

Gus replayed the last few minutes of the conversation in his head. Shawn’s promise seemed as unweaselable as the nondisclosure agreement Gus’ pharmaceuticals employer had made him sign before they admitted to him that there really was no such thing as restless elbow syndrome and that the only reason they’d sold so much of their drug to treat the disease was a long series of “seminars” in Hawaii they’d paid doctors to attend.

“You just promised your father that we wouldn’t have anything to do with Ellen Svaco’s murder,” Gus said.

“And we won’t,” Shawn said.

“But that was our case,” Shawn said.

“Never was,” Shawn said. “No one hired us to investigate that.”

“Then what?”

“Ellen Svaco hired us to get her necklace back,” Shawn said. “That’s the case we’re working on.”

Gus and Shawn drove in silence back to the Psych offices. Gus assumed Shawn was lost in thought about how to find whoever was behind the theft of the necklace. But he couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen when Henry found out that he and Shawn were still working on the case. Because, despite Shawn’s rationalizations, Gus knew they were deliberately flouting the agreement.

It wasn’t until they were back in the office and Shawn was firing up the computer that Gus raised the point. “If your dad finds out that we’re working on this case, he’s going to be really mad.”

Shawn didn’t even look up from the computer. “I already told you; it’s not the same case.”

“Yes, as weasels go, this is as close to a ten as you’ve ever come,” Gus said. “But we both know that’s only going to make him even madder. All I’m saying is let’s make sure we stay out of the way of the official investigation.”

“We will be out of their way,” Shawn said. “Because Lassiter will be running his investigation his way and we’ll be doing ours the right way. Odds are we’ll never cross paths. Now come help me hack into the police department’s computer.”

“Shawn…”

“Okay, okay,” Shawn said. “It’s not like we’d learn anything that way, except that Lassie hasn’t won a game of solitaire in five years. What I really need you to do is to hack into the computers of the Descanso Gardens lost-and-found department. If we’re lucky they have a camera positioned above the booth to record the face of anyone dropping off or claiming an item.”

That was a task Gus didn’t mind tackling. Unfortunately there was one small problem he couldn’t solve.

“It seems that the Descanso Gardens lost-and-found department doesn’t have a computer,” Gus said after some time of fruitless searching. “Or, if they do, it’s not online.”

“How about the snack bar?” Shawn said. “Can you get into their computer?”

“Why?”

“I want to know if they’ve restocked their ice-cream sandwiches yet,” Shawn said. “If we’re going to have to schlep all the way down there again, I want to know there’s at least going to be a tasty treat at the finish line.”

Gus dropped into a guest chair. “This is crazy.”

“I know, I know,” Shawn said. “It’s much cheaper to buy our own ice-cream sandwiches at the supermarket and bring them with us, instead of paying the ridiculous markup they charge at tourist traps like Descanso. But even if we bring a cold bag, they’re still going to be pretty melty by the time we get to La Canada.”

“I don’t understand why we’re going to La Canada in the first place,” Gus said. “Do you really think the killer mime is still out there, waiting for someone else to walk by with a necklace for him to steal?”

Shawn was about to respond, but just before the first word left his mouth he cut it off.

“What?” Gus said.

“You’re right,” Shawn said. “Why La Canada?”

“Well,” Gus said, suddenly wondering if he’d been too hasty, as he always did when someone actually took his advice. “There might have been someone who saw the mime and can help us identify him. Better yet, we could get the names of all the people who paid their admission with credit cards that day, track them down, and see if they took any pictures that have the mime in them.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Shawn said. “Obviously we’d go to La Canada because that’s where the crime happened. The question is why did it happen there?”

“Because that’s where the necklace was?”

Shawn let out a deep sigh. “I’m going to try this one more time,” he said.

“Why?” Gus said.

“Why what?”

“Why are you going to try one more time?” Gus said. “Why are you going to drop one more vaguely suggestive clue phrased as an open-ended question? Why don’t you just come out and say what you’re thinking?”

“It’s called the Socratic method,” Shawn said. “It’s a form of teaching that involves asking questions to stimulate thought and debate. Although why Professor Kingsfield would name an entire method after some obscure alternative rock band from New Jersey is beyond me. Why are you staring at me?”

Gus was staring at Shawn-staring with a mixture of awe and horror. “How is this possible?” he said finally.

“What’s that?”

“How can one body contain such a mixture of arcane knowledge and sheer ignorance?” Gus said.

“That’s what they say about the Internet, and it’s doing all right,” Shawn said. “Didn’t you have a point a while back?”

“I didn’t have a point,” Gus said. “I was hoping that you did, and if that was indeed the case you would share it with me rather than asking a bunch of rhetorical questions.”

“Then how will you ever leave here thinking like a lawyer?” Shawn said.

“I’m about to leave here thinking like a pharmaceuticals salesman,” Gus said. “Not to mention a former detective.”

“Okay, okay,” Shawn said. “Let’s work this through together.”

“You already worked it through on your own,” Gus said. “Just tell me so we can get on with our lives.”

“Just tell you?”

“Yes.”

“Without any questions at all?” Shawn looked troubled.

“I’m sure you can handle it.”

“I can’t say I share your confidence, but I’ll try,” Shawn said. He took a breath. “Okay, here’s what I was getting at. The backstory, if you will. All the stuff that happened before we got involved. Some of which took place in La Canada. The question is-”

“Not an appropriate part of speech for this conversation,” Gus said.

Shawn glared at him. “You’re supposed to be my sounding board.”

“I’m supposed to be your partner,” Gus said. “You treat me as your sounding board. You say things to me so you can hear them echoed back to you louder.”