John Burdett - Bangkok Haunts

Finally we hear sounds of life from the other side of the door. A couple of bolts are drawn back, and he opens a crack. Then he reveals himself in his full glory, wearing only a pair of cycling shorts: a surprisingly bony, masculine face with purple eyeshadow and lipstick, long ink-black hair drawn back in a ponytail in the ancient way, and a magnificent tattoo of a chrysanthemum adorning his hairless chest, where two small new breasts are budding. His gestures are exaggerated in the tradition of his tribe, but there's something else: it is not difficult to believe there is a real woman behind the prizefighter's features. When he drops the katoey posturing, he can seem genuinely female.

"Darling," he manages, and bends forward from the hips to allow Lek to peck him on the cheek.

"You're stoned," Lek chides.

"I'm in the middle of a major work, love. I need the meditation aid."

"This is my boss, Detective Jitpleecheep," Lek says with a slight pout.

"Ever so pleased to meet you," Pi-Oon says, and beckons us inside.

Now I'm thinking: Gauguin. Pi-Oon has used those same tropical purples, morbid mauves, and old golds to adorn the walls and roof of his wooden hut with images of katoey nightlife. A cabaret star with similar features to his is holding a microphone in the centerpiece of a triptych. I realize that every human depicted in his work is a transsexual. I'm most fascinated, though, by the frisson of his big boney tough-guy face, which seems to beg for love and tenderness. He gestures at the floor, which is unencumbered by furniture save for a few cushions. We all sit in semilotus with our backs against the wall. "We've come about the snuff movie," Lek says, still irritated.

The words cause a dreadful pain to corrupt our host's features. He places a palm against one cheek, his eyes great bulbs of horror. "Oh my Buddha, oh my, I never thought it was real, you know." Looking at me:

"It's was only when Pi-Lek told me you were investigating that I thought, oh, oh, oh, Pi-Oon has got himself into hot water here. Pi-Oon, I said to myself, Pi-Oon honey, you've got the biggest mouth in Krung Thep. I wish I'd never got drunk and told everyone. I never drink, normally, so it went straight to my head, and I just spilled my guts."

"Tell us what you saw," I say.

"Well, at first it was just a big yawn, don't you know, because the girl's a real girl, and who wants to watch a tart do it nature's way like a farm animal, you know, but my man's bi, so I watched it with him to be polite, you know. And of course it made him horny as hell." Glancing at Lek with a wink: "What a punishment he gave me afterward, you wouldn't believe." Turning back to me while Lek suppresses a smirk: "So it's some silly whore doing a fairly elaborate boom-boom with a dishy stud in a black gimp mask, and at the end he snuffs her with a rope around her neck, but it never occurred to me that it was for real, you know, I thought it was virtual. Of course I did. I mean, why wouldn't it be virtual in this day and age? Why go to the expense of snuffing the tart when you could fake it and use her again? Common sense says it's virtual."

"Who's your man?" Lek demands, drawing a scowl from both Pi-Oon and me.

Pi-Oon casts me a helpless glance. "Isn't our Pi-Lek direct? Doesn't mince words, comes straight to the point." Frowning: "You know I can't tell you that. It's against the rules."

"You've told the whole of Krung Thep everything about him except for his name." Turning to me, Lek says, "He's very big in advertising, practically runs the industry here. He's in his midforties and wears tons of gold. Keeps very fit, prefers katoeys to women but hates regular gays. Always uses a condom. Right?"

Pi-Oon seems genuinely put out. The palm presses the cheek again with the head on one side. "Oh my, did I really say all that?" Proudly: "It's true he's incredibly rich." He giggles and makes Lek smile despite himself. "Very well endowed. On the first night I said, darling, there's nothing for it, I'm going to have to charge you by the inch. Of course he loved that. Laugh? We have such a great time together, we're even thinking about marriage, maybe in Canada where it's legal. He's a tiger in bed but gentle as a lamb the rest of the time. I'm sure he didn't know it was a real snuff movie."

"Course he did," from Lek.

Stoned, Pi-Oon turns gray. "D'you think so? Oh my, I'm sure he didn't have anything to do with it. Some rich buddy of his must have loaned it to him, someone straight, you know, because let's face it, straight sex can be very very weird these days, what women will do with their bodies-well, I don't need to tell you, you're all cops."

"Tell us his name, or we'll whip you to within an inch of your life," Lek says, looking firm.

"Promise?"

Now both katoeys have collapsed with laughter, and I'm scratching my jaw, feeling out of place. When Pi-Oon has recovered, he says, "Would you two honor my humble home by smoking some export-quality stuff with me? My man gave it to me, and you know what they say about money? It attracts the best."

"I don't smoke," Lek says. "But he does."

"Do you, darling?" Pi-Oon says, looking at me. "Don't worry, I won't tell the cops." More giggles.

Naturally I refuse, but while Pi-Oon is getting his kit out from a box in the corner of the hut, Lek whispers to me that his friend is even more loose-tongued on grass than he is on alcohol. If someone doesn't smoke with him, though, he'll get self-conscious. I am also amazed to see Pi-Oon produce a homemade vaporizer, using a soldering iron stuck into the top of a large bell jar from which a long transparent tube emerges.

"I'm very health conscious," Pi-Oon explains. "My father was a chain-smoker, and I had to watch him die, poor lamb. I said to myself, Pi-Oon, you're never going to smoke anything in your life, ever again, but they say the vaporizer is totally safe. I got the instructions on how to make it from the Internet."

He plugs the soldering iron into a socket, and within seconds a little wire basket of marijuana has started fuming inside the jar. Pi-Oon takes a couple of tokes, offers it to Lek, who refuses, and passes it to me. I have never used a vaporizer before and simply suck as if it were a joint, taking it all down as far as the esophagus and beyond. There is very little odor or taste, so I think it cannot be very strong and is maybe not exactly export quality as Pi-Oon insists, so I take a couple more tokes, which amazes Pi-Oon. "Wow! Well, you're a real smoker, I can tell. Frankly, any one of those puffs would have been enough for me." He takes a surprisingly modest toke himself, before passing it back. To be honest, I'm a little frustrated that the stuff doesn't seem to have much effect, so I suck up a few more bottles of fumes, then sag against the wall. I know that I've misjudged the strength of the product when the guy in the mural starts to play the saxophone and I can hear one of the riffs from Blade Runner.

"Paul," I hear myself saying in English, "I'm so impressed with your decision to reject the materialism of contemporary culture in favor of a more spiritual lifestyle." Lek giggles while Gauguin seems to be giving me a perplexed look. "But tell me, how do you make them move?" It's true, the saxophonist on the wall is swinging his instrument up and down while he belts out the meanest version of "Bye Bye Blackbird" I've ever heard. Now I realize it is the colors that are playing the tune, the complex structures of tropical russets, extravagant sunsets, overripe jackfruit, heavy brown men and women who seem to have only half emerged from the earth, the cries of the human spirit that has trapped itself in matter-all are transmuted into an intense, tangible aural landscape by the sax on the wall. Then Damrong appears. By an extraordinary shake of the kaleidoscope the whole wall swirls and twists until her form emerges. She is topless in a sarong of Tahitian design, and her brown skin fits the color range of the painting perfectly; but her slim body is lithe and Thai, and a superior energy gives her power over those around her. Her black hair is flying, and there is a mystic gleam in her eye. Hello, Sonchai. What are you doing here?