Hakan Nesser - The Weeping Girl

‘You’re crying.’

The words came without her thinking about them. Tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them, and she wondered whether Mikael Bau had been right after all when he’d suggested she should wear an efficient sun hat. Something with a wide brim to provide protection against the sun — the high pressure was a strong as ever today.

The girl looked up at her briefly. Then blew her nose. Moreno sat up, and waited.

‘Yes. I’m having a bit of a cry.’

‘That’s what we need to do sometimes,’ said Moreno.

My God, she thought. What am I doing? I’ve just started to look after a teenager in crisis. . A young girl with a broken heart running away from her boyfriend. Or from her parents. But running away in any case. . I should start reading again and pretend I’d never spoken to her. Just ignore her until we get to Lejnice — haven’t I got enough to worry about with Lampe-Leermann? Why the hell can’t I hold my tongue?

‘I’m crying because I’m afraid,’ said the girl, looking out of the window at the sun again. ‘I’m on the way to my dad.’

‘Really?’ said Moreno non-committally, scrapping the running-away theory.

‘I’ve never met him.’

Moreno put her book down.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’ve never seen him before.’

‘You’ve never seen your dad? Why?’

‘Because my mum thought that was best.’

Moreno thought that over. Took a deep drink of mineral water. Offered the bottle to the girl. The girl shook her head.

‘Why would it be best for you not to meet him?’

The girl shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’

‘What’s your name?’

‘Mikaela Lijphart.’

‘How old are you? Sixteen, seventeen. .?’

I’m interrogating her, it suddenly struck Moreno. She tried to smooth things over by holding out a pack of chewing gum. Mikaela took a couple of pieces and smiled.

‘Eighteen,’ she said. ‘I had my eighteenth birthday yesterday.’

‘Many happy returns!’ said Moreno. ‘Of yesterday. .’

‘Please forgive me. I’ve interrupted your reading.’

‘That doesn’t matter,’ said Moreno. ‘I find it hard to concentrate when I’m on a train anyway. I usually read things I’ve read already. If you want to tell me about your dad, I’ll be happy to listen.’

Mikaela sighed deeply, and looked as if she were discussing that prospect with herself. It took three seconds.

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘No, I’ve never met him. Not since I was tiny, at least. I didn’t really know who he was until yesterday. His name’s Arnold Maager — my mum told me that because I’m eighteen now. A nice present, don’t you think? A dad.’

Moreno raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. The train started to slow down noisily as it approached the next station.

‘He’s in a psychiatric hospital. Something happened when I was only two years old. That’s why she kept it secret from me until now, my mum.’

My God, Moreno thought. What on earth is she sitting there telling me? For an awful moment she wondered if she’d come up against a young mythomaniac — a somewhat neurotic teenager who took pleasure in making herself interesting to total strangers. It was not unusual for young ladies in trouble to indulge in such escapades, she knew that from experience. The years she’d spent in the police unit with special responsibility for young people had taught her that. Two-and-a-half years, to be precise, that she hadn’t exactly hated, but which she would prefer not to live through again. Like all the other years she had thrown on the scrapheap in the last few days. .

But it was hard to believe that Mikaela Lijphart was making it all up. Really hard. She seemed more like an open book, Moreno thought — with those big, bright eyes and straightforward features. Obviously, she could be mistaken — but she was hardly your blue-eyed innocent.

‘So now you’re on your way to meet him, are you?’ she asked. ‘Your dad. Where does he live?’

‘Lejnice,’ said Mikaela. ‘He’s in a home just outside the town. I’ve rung and spoken to them — they know I’m coming. So they were going to prepare him. . Yes, that’s what they said. Prepare him. Ugh, I’m scared stiff. But I know it’s got to be done.’

Moreno tried in all haste to find something consoling to say to her.

‘You have to do what you have to do,’ she said. ‘Is it really the case that you didn’t know you had a dad until yesterday?’

Mikaela smiled briefly again.

‘Yes. Obviously, I know that a virgin birth isn’t all that common nowadays. But I’ve had a stepfather since I was three, and known that he wasn’t my real father since I was fifteen. And then. . Well, I had to wait for another three years until my mum told me who my real father was. Arnold Maager. . I don’t really know if I like that name or not. .’

‘But why?’ Moreno couldn’t help herself from asking. ‘I mean, it’s nothing to do with me, but. .’

‘I don’t know,’ said Mikaela.

‘You don’t know?’

‘No, I don’t know why she couldn’t tell me. Or didn’t want to tell me. She went on and on about responsibility and maturity and all that, my mum did, but. . No, no details at all. Something happened when I was very young, that’s all I know.’

Moreno looked out of the window, and saw that they had now come to Boodendijk. Not far to go to Lejnice. A couple more stops, probably. Behind the row of buildings she could already see the sand dunes. The sky seemed almost hysterically blue.

What the hell can I say to her? she wondered. The poor girl must feel completely abandoned.

‘Did you consider taking somebody with you?’ she said. ‘If you feel worried about it. A friend. . Or your mum. .’

‘I wanted to meet him on my own,’ said Mikaela. ‘My mum didn’t want me to go to see him at all — but once you’re eighteen years old, you do what you have to do.’

‘Quite right,’ said Moreno.

A few seconds passed. The train set off again.

‘I don’t understand why I’m sitting here, telling all this to somebody I’ve never seen before,’ said Mikaela, trying to look a little more cocksure. ‘You must think I’m a real crackpot. . Not to mention my mum and dad. A real crackpot family. Maybe we are, but I don’t usually-’

‘It can be a good thing to talk to strangers now and then,’ said Moreno, interrupting her. ‘You can say whatever you like, without having to take other things into consideration. I often start conversations like this one.’

The girl’s face was consumed by a smile, and Moreno registered that she was even more charming when the all-pervading worry dispersed momentarily.

‘You’re right! That’s exactly what I think about my dad. About meeting him, I mean. We’re strangers, after all. I don’t want to have anybody else present when I speak to him for the first time. It would be. . It wouldn’t be right, somehow. Do you see what I mean? It wouldn’t be right as far as he’s concerned.’

Moreno nodded.

‘So you’re getting off at Lejnice, are you?’

‘Yes. Where are you going?’

‘I’m getting off at Lejnice as well. It’ll all turn out okay, trust me! That business with your dad, I mean. I can feel it.’

‘So can I!’ said Mikaela optimistically, sitting up straighter. ‘I think we’re nearly there — I’d better go to the toilet and wipe away my tears. Thank you for letting me talk to you.’

Moreno suddenly felt that she needed to blink away a few tears as well. She tapped Mikaela’s thigh and cleared her throat.

‘Do that! I’ll wait for you. Then we can go into the station together, okay?’

Mikaela stood up and headed for the toilet at the far end of the carriage. Moreno took a deep breath. Put her book back into her bag and established that you could see the sea through the window.