Hakan Nesser - Hour of the wolf

The boy who would soon die laughed, and sat up straight. Brushed the remains of some crisps off his shirt and stood up.

‘I must go now,’ he said. ‘I really must. The last bus is due in five minutes.’

‘Yes,’ said the girl, ‘I suppose you must. I daren’t allow you to sleep over. I don’t know what Mum would say, she’ll be home in a couple of hours. She’s working late tonight.’

‘That’s a shame,’ said the boy, pulling his thick sweater over his head. ‘It would be great to spend the night with you. Couldn’t we maybe… maybe…’

He hesitated about what to say next. She smiled and took hold of his hand. Held on to him. She knew he didn’t really mean what he said. Knew he was only pretending. He would never dare, she thought. He wouldn’t be able to cope with a situation like that… And for a brief moment she toyed with the idea of saying yes. Letting him stay.

Just in order to see how he reacted. See if he would go along with it, or if he would chicken out.

Let him think just for a moment that she would agree to lie naked in bed with him.

It would be fun, no doubt about that. It could have taught her a lot about him. But she dropped the idea: it wouldn’t have been fair, and she liked him too much to be as egotistic and scheming as that. She really did like him an awful lot, come to think about it, so sooner or later they would get to that stage no matter what. Lying in bed, both of them naked under the same duvet… Yes, that was what she had been feeling for the last few weeks, there was no point in shutting her eyes to the fact.

The first one. He would be her first one. But not tonight.

‘Another time, then,’ she said, letting go of him. Ran her hands through her hair to get rid of the static electricity from the silky cover of the sofa. ‘You only ever think of one thing, you bloody stallions!’

‘Huh,’ he said, trying to produce an appropriately disappointed expression on his face.

He went out into the hall, she adjusted her jumper and followed him.

‘We could be as quiet as mice and pretend you were asleep, then I could sneak out tomorrow morning before she wakes up…’ he said, not wanting to seem to give up too easily.

‘We can do it another time,’ she said. ‘Mum’s working nights next month — maybe then?’

He nodded. Put on his boots and started looking for his scarf and gloves.

‘Oh, shit! I’ve forgotten my French book. Could you fetch it for me, please?’

She went back to get it. When he had buttoned up his duffle coat they started hugging again. She could feel his erection through all the layers of cloth: he hugged her close, and just for a moment her head spun. It felt good — like falling without having to worry about landing, and she realized that the link between reason and emotions, between mind and heart, was just as weak as her mother had said it would be when they sat at the kitchen table speaking seriously about such matters only the other day.

Not something you can rely on. Your reason is nothing more than a handkerchief you can blow your nose into afterwards, her mother had said, looking as if she knew what she was talking about.

Which she did, of course. Her mother had had three men, none of whom had been worth keeping, if she understood the situation correctly. Certainly not her father. She bit her lip and pushed him away. He laughed, sounding slightly embarrassed.

‘I like you a lot, Wim,’ she said. ‘I really do. But you must go now, or you’ll miss your bus.’

‘I like you a lot as well,’ he said. ‘Your hair…’

‘My hair?’

‘You have such amazingly beautiful hair. If I were a little insect, I would want to live in it.’

‘Oh, come on!’ she said with a smile. ‘Are you suggesting that I’ve got nits?’

‘Of course not!’ He grinned broadly. ‘I just mean that if I die before you do, I hope to be resurrected as a little insect and come and live in your hair. So that we’d be together despite everything.’

She turned serious.

‘You shouldn’t talk like that about death,’ she said. ‘I like you so much, but please don’t talk so casually about death.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t think…’

She shrugged. Her grandfather had died a month ago, and they had talked for a while about that.

‘It’s okay. I still like you a lot. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.’

‘Yes, I’ll see you then. Anyway, I really must go now.’

‘Would you like me to come to the bus stop with you?’

He shook his head. Opened the door into the porch.

‘Don’t be silly. It’s only twenty metres from your front door.’

‘I like you a lot,’ said the girl.

‘And I like you a lot as well,’ said the boy who was about to die. ‘An awful lot.’

She gave him one last hug, and he hurried off down the stairs.

The man who would soon kill somebody couldn’t wait to get home.

To his bed or his bath, he wasn’t sure which.

Probably both, he decided as he stole a glance at his wristwatch. First a lovely hot bath, then bed. Why say either-or when you could have both-and? For God’s sake, he’d been sitting with these wimps for over four hours now… Four hours! He looked around the table and wondered if anybody else was thinking what he was thinking. Anybody who was as bored as he was.

It didn’t seem so. The expression on most faces was jolly and exhilarated — due to some extent to the alcohol, of course; but it was apparent that they enjoyed one another’s company. Six men in their prime, he thought. Successful and prosperous, reasonably so at least, by normal worldly standards. Perhaps Greubner looked a bit on the tired side, worn out; but that was doubtless because his marriage was on the rocks again… or maybe problems at work. Or why not both?

No, I’ve had enough, he decided, knocking back the remains of his brandy. Dried the corners of his mouth with the table napkin and made to stand up.

‘I think I ought to…’ he began.

‘Already?’ said Smaage.

‘Yes. Tomorrow is another day. There’s nothing else on the agenda, is there?’

‘Hmm,’ said Smaage. ‘Maybe another little conniyacky, how about that? Hmm?’

The man who would soon kill somebody stood up.

‘I think I really must, no matter what…’ he said again, purposely leaving the sentence unfinished. ‘I wish all you gentlemen a very good night — don’t sit up for too long.’

‘Your very good health,’ said Kuijsmaa.

‘Peace, brother,’ said Lippmann.

When he entered the foyer he suddenly felt he’d been right, he really had had enough. He had some obvious difficulties in putting his coat on, sufficiently obvious for the tattooed athlete behind the desk to come out and help him with it. It felt a little embarrassing, and he hurried down the steps and into the refreshing coolness of the night.

There was rain in the air, and the glistening black paving stones in the square bore witness to the fact that a shower had only just blown over. The sky seemed threatening; more rain was evidently on the way. He knotted his scarf, dug his hands into his pockets and started walking along Zwille towards Grote Square, where he had parked his car. A little walk is a good idea, he thought. A few hundred metres, and your head is a lot clearer. Just what the doctor ordered.

The clock on the Boodwick department store said twenty minutes past eleven as he passed by its lit-up entrance, but Ruyders Plejn was as dark and deserted as a forgotten churchyard. The mist had begun to settle on the Llanggraacht canal, and as he was walking over the Eleonora Bridge he slipped several times: the temperature must have fallen to zero or thereabouts. He reminded himself to be careful when he got to the car: slippery roads and alcohol in the blood was not a good combination. For a brief moment he considered hailing a taxi instead, but there was no sign of one and so he abandoned the thought. Besides, he would need the car tomorrow morning, and to leave it standing in Grote Square overnight was not an attractive prospect. Even if he had recently had a rather expensive alarm system installed, he had no illusions about what could happen. It would be a piece of cake for a few skilled thieves to break in, steal the stereo equipment and disappear into the night before anybody had a chance to stop them. That’s a fact of life, he told himself with a sigh of resignation as he turned into Kellnerstraat.