Ed Mcbain: The Frumious Bandersnatch

When the elevator came, Ollie put out his arm to hold the doors open for her.

“Goodnight, Oll,” she said, “I had a wonderful time.”

“So did I, Patricia.”

“May I take you to dinner this Saturday night?” she asked.

He looked at her.

“Well, you said I should invite you.”

“Ah yes,” Ollie said, doing his world-famous W. C. Fields imitation. “I would be delighted, m’little chickadee.”

“Well good then,” she said, and raised herself on tip-toes and kissed him on the mouth.

Smiling, she stepped into the elevator.

She waggled her fingers at him as the doors closed.

She was still smiling.

In the softly falling drizzle, Ollie walked back to his car. Sitting behind the wheel, he closed the door against the rain, and put the key into the ignition.

Then, for some reason he could not quite understand, he put his head on the steering wheel and began weeping.

“I KNOW IT’S LATE,” Hawes said into the telephone.

“What time is it, anyway?”

He looked up at the squadroom clock.

“Almost twelve-thirty,” he said. “But we just wrapped up here, and…”

“Anything I should know?”

“Well, I don’t know who’s going to release this, us or the Feebs.”

“You cracked it,” Honey said.

“Well…”

“Come on over,” she said. “We’ll discuss it here.”

“It’s not too late?”

“I don’t have to be in till six tomorrow night.”

“Me, neither,” Hawes said. “Quarter to eight, in fact. Should I come over?”

“Sure,” she said. “This might turn into a scoop.”

“It very well might.”

“ ‘Boy Detective Cracks Kidnapping Case.’ ”

He visualized her spreading her free hand on the air.

“So…uh…should I come over?” he asked.

“Must be an echo in this place,” she said.

“Are you hungry?”

“Are you?”

“Shall I bring some sandwiches?”

“If you like.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“I’m here,” she said, and hung up.

TEDDY WAS AWAKEwhen Carella got home at almost two in the morning. She turned on the bedside lamp, and then opened her arms to him, and he went to her and kissed her, and held her a moment longer before he began undressing. Looking at his face, she knew there was something. Everything this man felt showed on his face. She waited until he was in bed beside her, and then she signed What is it?

“He thought I was the weakest link,” Carella said. She was watching his lips. He saw on her face that she hadn’t caught it all. Everything this woman felt showed on her face. This time, he signed it.

He thought I was the weakest link.

Who did? she signed.

“Barney Loomis,” he said, signing and speaking simultaneously.

I don’t know what you mean.

“He asked for me on the case because he thought I’d never in a million years tip to what was going on. He couldn’t trust The Squad to be fools…”

The Squad?

“The Joint Task Force. So he picked the weakest link. Me. Detective Steve Carella. His insurance policy. To make sure they got away clean.”

Does this mean you cracked it?

“It means we cracked it.”

Then Mr. Loomis made a mistake, didn’t he?

“I guess he made a big mistake,” Carella said, and took her in his arms. “Right from minute one.”

What time do you have to be in tomorrow? she signed.