Reginald Hill - Death Comes for the Fat Man

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Pressing Death or Hector even closer to his chest, he rises onto his toes and goes whirling round the room, once more the leader not the led, faster and faster, till he leaves the wild music trailing in his wake. And this time, instead of blurring out his surroundings, the speed of the dance seems to bring them back into focus. First the high windows with their multicolored lights, and then white-clothed tables laden with provender, and finally he becomes aware that the brittle bones in his arms are once more clothed in the warm and yielding flesh of Tottie Truman from Donny.

8

BLAME

He’s stable now, but it was a close-run thing,” said Dr. John Sowden. “With anyone else I’d have called it after the fifth shock. But I looked down at the fat old bastard lying there and I thought, I’m not going to risk being haunted by you! And I gave him one more go.”

Dr. Sowden was an old acquaintance of the Pascoes, a relationship which had started way back in a close encounter with Andy Dalziel under suspicion of causing death by drunk driving.

“And that did the trick?” said Ellie Pascoe.

“It started his heart beating again. Which is something, but don’t get your hopes up. He’s only back to where he was. Still showing no sign of regaining consciousness. And we’ve still no idea what state he’ll be in if and when that happens. You, Peter, on the other hand are looking remarkably spry, considering.”

“So when can I go home?” said Pascoe. “I feel fine.”

It was almost true. The anxiety caused by the news about Fat Andy, the relief at hearing they’d got him back, and the pleasure of having Ellie sitting on his bed had seemed to combine as a sort of tonic. John Sowden ought to be showering praise on him for his resilience rather than pursing his lips.

“Let’s see how you are in a couple of days,” said the doctor dismissively. “Ellie, nice to see you again. Make sure he behaves himself.”

He went out.

“John ought to brush up his bedside manner, don’t you reckon?” said Pascoe.

“I think he’s a bit worried there may be some delayed emotional reaction,” said Ellie carefully.

“He’s been talking to you, has he? Don’t tell me he actually used those tired old words post-traumatic stress disorder !” Pascoe laughed harshly. “Listen, if ever I start feeling sorry for myself, I just have to think of Andy lying up there in a coma.”

Ellie took his hand and squeezed it.

“I know, I know,” she said. “I often wished the earth would open up and swallow the fat bastard, but it’s almost impossible to imagine a world without Andy, isn’t it?”

“Not almost,” said Pascoe. “You said you’d seen Cap. How’s she taking it?”

“Hard to say. She once told me that the only worthwhile thing she learned at St. Dot’s Academy was to deal with crisis and catastrophe by not letting it mark your upper crust. While us plebs scream and shout and run about, people of Cap’s class maintain an even keel and look to the practicalities.”

Pascoe smiled at us plebs. Ellie’s family were irremediably petit bourgeois despite all her efforts to downgrade them to acquire street cred in the class war. By contrast Cap Marvell, while making no effort to deny her upper class background and education, had been much more successful in her efforts to disoblige her old connections. Having a secret weapon like Andy Dalziel you could produce at will can’t have been a disadvantage either.

Pascoe liked her in a cautious kind of way. She was good for Dalziel emotionally and intellectually and, one presumed, physically, but her readiness to strain the law in pursuit of her animal rights causes was a ticking bomb for a working cop. On the other hand it struck him as one of God’s better jokes that after many years of heavy-handed jesting about Ellie’s unbecoming behavior as a political activist, Dalziel should find himself hoist with the same petard.

“What are you grinning at?” demanded Ellie.

“Just smiling with pleasure at having you here,” he said.

“I hope so. I can’t stay long. Rosie’s rehearsal finishes at seven.”

Pascoe shuddered. Public performances by the school orchestra in which his daughter played the clarinet were bad enough. He couldn’t bear to think what a rehearsal must sound like.

“Didn’t she want to visit me?” he asked plaintively.

“Of course she did. But no point in traumatizing the kid. I wanted to be sure you weren’t going to be too much of a shock to the system so I told her the hospital had banned child visits till tomorrow.”

“I’ll be coming home tomorrow,” protested Pascoe. “I really do feel fine, no matter what the amateur psychiatrists say.”

“Let’s wait and see what John says,” said Ellie. “They may need to do more tests.”

“You know me,” said Pascoe confidently. “Show me a test, I sail through it.”

“Yeah? Well let’s try this one,” said Ellie.

She leaned forward and kissed him long and hard, at the same time slipping her hand beneath the bedsheet.

After about thirty seconds she pulled back and said, “Yes, you seem to be making firm progress.”

“Better than you imagine,” said Pascoe rather hoarsely. “Test me again.”

“I think once is enough at this stage in your convalescence,” she said primly.

“You reckon? Do you think the NHS trains its nurses in this technique?”

“Yes, but you need private insurance for that. By the way, that nice matronly woman with the Scottish accent, who is she exactly?”

“Sandy Glenister? She’s a Chief Super from the antiterrorist unit.”

“I thought that’s what she said, but I wasn’t paying too much attention.”

“So what did you talk about?”

“I don’t know. You I suppose.”

“Me?” said Pascoe, alarmed. “What did you tell her?”

“What do you think I told her?” retorted Ellie indignantly. “Where you’ve stashed all that drug money you’ve stolen? I was upset, believe it or not, and she was kind.”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” said Pascoe placatingly. “She does seem very kind. All the same, better check your purse and change your PINs.”

Ellie smiled the smile of a woman confident that no one of either sex could sweet-talk her out of anything she didn’t want to give.

“I’d better go,” she said, looking at her watch. “Last time I was late picking Rosie up from rehearsal, I found her sitting on the school wall, playing her clarinet. There was some change on the ground in front of her, but I suspect she’d put it there herself.”

“Pity,” said Pascoe. “Nice if she could be self-supporting. Give her my love. And tell her I’ll see her tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Pete, what shall I tell her about Andy? I think she needs to know how bad things are, just in case…”

“In case what?” snapped Pascoe. “Sorry. Tell her the truth, that’s what we’ve always tried, isn’t it? But keep it cool, yes?”

“Sure,” she said. “By the way, they gave me what was left of your clothes. I went through your trouser pockets before I dumped them. Found a dental plate.”

“It’s Andy’s,” he said. “Clean it up, will you? He’ll want it when…”

His voice creaked into silence.

“I’ll clean it,” said Ellie, stooping to kiss him. “Now I’ve got to dash. But you won’t be lonely. I think I spotted another visitor lurking.”

She grinned as she spoke and a few moments later Pascoe realized why. The door slowly opened and a dolorous visage appeared, its brow puckered with uncertainty, like a sheep contemplating a gap in the hedge which separated its field from a busy motorway.

“Hector,” he said. “Nice of you to visit. Or are you just looking for the lavatory?”

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