Reginald Hill: Death Comes for the Fat Man

Andre looked at him steadily till he straightened up.

Then he said, “Bad intelligence. It happens. Hugh says sorry. But look on the bright side. It certainly made a bang!”

“Jesus Christ!” exclaimed Geoff B. “It put two cops in hospital. One of them critical, the news says.”

Andre shrugged and said, “My info is, the stupid sods were grandstanding. If they’d followed instructions and stood off…”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? I’m giving notice; if one of them dies, that’s me finished, understand?”

You’re finished anyway, son, thought Andre. One strike and out. Returned to unit.

Geoff O spoke before he could respond.

“Was the cop who came into the shop one of those injured?”

Andre flickered an approving smile. No bother there. First rule of combat, be prepared for collateral damage. Can’t get your head round that, might as well stay home.

He said, “That would have been tidy, but no, he wasn’t. Pity.”

“For God’s sake!” exclaimed Geoff B, determined not to let go of his anger. “Is that all you’re concerned about? Whether there was a witness?”

Andre looked at him coldly.

“Mebbe you’d be more concerned if you’d been the one he clocked,” he said.

That shut the bugger up. He pressed on, “Anyway, the cop showing up didn’t stop you from opting to go ahead, did it?”

In the planning the bugger had needed to act like he was in charge, so now let’s see if he could carry the can.

Geoff O rescued him, saying, “I made sure he didn’t get a good look at me.”

“Course you did. Clever thinking. But sometimes being clever’s not enough. You’ve got to be lucky too. Word is that Constable Hector, who wandered into the shop, is half a loaf short of a picnic and would have trouble giving a good description of himself. So no problem there. In fact, things could be a lot worse. Mission accomplished, so let’s keep our fingers crossed and hope the cops don’t die.”

Geoff O said, “I presume you’re holding back the press release.”

Andre nodded approval of the move from personal feelings to practicalities.

“Yes. Hugh agrees that a cop on the critical list isn’t what we want associated with our opening statement. Shame. Really starting with a bang that would have been. Still, what me and Archambaud have got planned should make ’em sit up and take notice.”

“Need any help?” asked Geoff O.

Definitely getting a taste for it, thought Andre. Enthusiasm was good. Impatience might be a problem. Needs watching?

He said, “No, it’s sorted. Don’t worry. We’re just starting. Lots of work for an energetic youngster. Just be patient. Good intelligence, careful planning, that’s what makes for successful ops.”

Geoff B snorted incredulously, but that was to be expected. It was Geoff O’s disappointed frown that Andre focused on.

He said, “War’s like fishing. Hours of empty fucking tedium punctuated by moments so crowded they burst at the seams. Learn to enjoy the emptiness. Now I’m going to pack up before these fucking midges chew my face off. I’ll be in touch.”

He rose and began to reel in his line.

Geoff B said, “Tell Hugh, if that cop dies, I’m out. I’m serious.”

“Let’s hope the poor sod makes it then,” said Andre indifferently. “See you.”

The couple started to walk away. Geoffrey O glanced back. Andre gave a conspiratorial wink but got nothing in return.

Didn’t bother him.

What did bother him was the weight of the discarded backpack.

He checked no one was close then opened it.

Like he’d thought, one weapon missing.

He looked after the two Geoffreys. No prize for guessing which one had hung on.

He recalled a training sergeant once saying to him, “You’ve earned yourself a big kiss for keenness, a big bollocking for stupidity. Which do you want first, son?”

He smiled, dropped the backpack into his basket, slung it over his shoulder, gathered up the rest of his gear, and set off along the towpath.

Peter Pascoe was still having trouble with time.

He opened his eyes and Ellie was there.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” she said. “Pete, how are you?”

“Fine, fine,” he said.

He blinked once and her hair turned gingery as she aged ten years and put on a Scottish accent.

“Mr. Pascoe. Sandy Glenister. Feel up to a wee chat?”

“Not with you,” said Pascoe. “Sod off.”

He blinked again and the face rearranged itself into something like a Toby jug whose glaze had gone wrong.

“Wieldy,” said Pascoe. “Where’s Ellie?”

“At home making Rosie’s tea, I expect. She’ll be back later. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine. What am I doing here? Oh shit.”

Wield saw Pascoe’s face spasm with remembered pain as he answered his own question.

“Andy, how’s Andy?” he demanded, trying to push himself upright.

Wield pressed the button that raised the back of the bed by thirty degrees.

“Intensive care,” he said. “He’s not come round yet.”

“Well, what do they expect?” demanded Pascoe. “It’s only been…a couple of hours?”

His assertion turned to interrogation as he realized he’d no idea of the time.

“Twenty four,” said Wield. “A bit more. It’s four o clock, Tuesday afternoon.”

“As long as that? What’s the damage?”

“With Andy? Broken leg, broken arm, several cracked ribs, some second-degree burns, multiple contusions and lacerations from the blast, loss of blood, ruptured spleen, other internal damage whose extent isn’t yet apparent-”

“So nothing really serious then,” interrupted Pascoe.

Wield smiled faintly and said, “No, not for Andy. But till he wakes up-”

He left the sentence unfinished.

“Twenty-four hours is nothing,” said Pascoe. “Look at me.”

“You’ve been back with us a lot longer than that,” said Wield. “Bit woozie maybe with all the shit they pumped into you, but making sense mostly. You don’t think Ellie would have taken off if you’d still been comatose?”

“I’ve spoken with Ellie then?”

“Aye. Don’t you remember?”

“I think I recall saying hi.”

“Is that all? You’d best hope you didn’t make a deathbed confession,” said Wield.

“And there was someone else, ginger hair, Scots accent, maybe the matron. Or did I dream that?”

“No. That would be Chief Superintendent Glenister from CAT. I was there when she turned up.”

“You were? Did I say much to her?”

“Apart from sod off, you mean? No. That was it.”

“Oh hell,” said Pascoe.

“Not to worry. She didn’t take offense. In fact, she’s sitting outside in the waiting room. You’ve not asked what’s wrong with you.”

“With me?” said Pascoe. “Good point. Why am I in here? I feel fine.”

“Just wait till the shit wears off,” said Wield. “But they reckon you were lucky. Contusions, abrasions, few muscle tears, twisted knee, couple of cracked ribs, concussion. Could have been a lot worse.”

“Would have been if I hadn’t had Andy in front of me,” said Pascoe grimly. “What about Jennison and Maycock?”

“Joker reckons he’s gone deaf but his mates say he were always a bit hard of hearing when it came to his round. Their car’s a write-off though. Andy’s too.”

“What about number three? Was there anyone in there?”

“I’m afraid so. Three bodies, they reckon. At least. They’re still trying to put them together. No more detail. The CAT lads are going over the wreckage with a fine-tooth comb, and they’re not saying much to anyone and that includes us. Of course they’ve got a key witness.”