Quintin Jardine - Pray for the Dying

‘So tell me why,’ she whispered. ‘Although I think I can guess, having seen this before.’

‘I killed someone,’ he whispered, ‘one of the South Africans. His name was Gerry Botha. He probably didn’t murder Toni Field, not personally, but he was part of the team that did: not just her, but three other people in the last forty-eight hours, and God knows how many more in other places, before that. I’ve shot people before in the line of duty. .’ He sighed. ‘Christ, darlin’, most cops never handle a firearm, but I’m always in the firing line. At the time it’s a decision you have to make in a split second. I’ve never been wrong, or doubted myself afterwards, but there comes a time when you have to think that however evil the life you’ve just snuffed out, someone brought it into being.

‘Gerry Botha and his sidekick Francois Smit, they probably have mothers and fathers still alive, and maybe wives and maybe kids who see completely different men at home and who’re not going to have them to take them to rugby and cricket or the movies or to the beach any more, like I did yesterday with ours before all this shit happened, and when I start to play with all that in my head I start to think, “Oh God, perhaps that man wasn’t all that different from me, just another guy doing the best he can for those he loves.” And that’s when it gets very difficult.’ He leaned back against the headboard, and she could see that his eyes were moist.

She kissed his chest. ‘Yeah, I know, love. That’s why you, of all people, understand why I prefer to be a pathologist, rather than to work with people with a pulse. But,’ she said, ‘if I was a psychologist, I’d be telling you to take that thought and apply it to Botha’s victims and to imagine how their nearest and dearest are feeling today, then to ask yourself how they’d feel about you if you’d funked your duty? Toni Field, for example; did she have a family?’

‘No, she’s never been married,’ he told her. ‘According to the Human Resources director, her next of kin was her mother, name of Sofia Deschamps. He was able to get the mother’s details from her file; he accessed it from home. I’m not too happy about that, but it’s an issue for later.

‘Mother lives in Muswell Hill; a couple of community support officers broke the news to her last night. Apparently there was no mention of a father on her file. The mother was a single parent, Mauritian. Antonia must have Anglicised the name at some point, or maybe the mother did, for she graduated as Field.’

‘I guess now they can confirm that she’s the victim.’

‘Yeah. The press office is going to issue a statement at twelve thirty, after the Police Authority’s emergency meeting. That will ratify my. . temporary. . appointment, and I’ll be paraded at another media briefing at one.’

‘What about your own Police Authority?’

‘Good question. The chairperson’s a Nationalist, one of the First Minister’s cronies. He was going to talk to her last night, but I’ll have to give her a call as well, to ask for her blessing, and to get her to nod through Maggie as my stand-in and Mario’s move up to ACC Crime.’ He took a breath.

‘And I’ll have to talk to Maggie myself; I can go and see her, since she doesn’t live far away. Then I’ll need to call in on Mario. . not to tell him about his promotion, he knows about that. . but to see how Paula is the day after. And I suppose I’ll have to go to Fettes and change into my fucking uniform. .’

Sarah rolled out of bed and grabbed her dressing gown from the floor. ‘Then what the hell are you still doing lying there? Get yourself showered. . but don’t you dare put my Venus leg shaver anywhere near your chin. . then dress and come downstairs to surprise our children. I’ll make you breakfast and then you can get on the road.’

‘Yes, boss.’ He grinned.

‘You’ll see,’ she added, ‘it’ll be good for you, this new challenge.’

‘If I’m up to it.’

‘That’s bullshit. You do not do self-doubt, my love.’

Bob frowned. ‘No, you’re right, not when it comes to work. In everything else though,’ he sighed, ‘I’m a complete fuck-up. Three marriages; soon to be two divorces. Are you sure you want to get close to me again?’

She put her hands on his shoulders, and drew him to her. ‘Even in our darkest moments,’ she whispered, ‘even across an ocean, I was never not close to you. You see us? We’re each other’s weakness and strength all rolled into one. This time, strength comes out on top.’

He nodded, stood, took hold of her robe, and kissed her. ‘Sounds good to me.’

He headed towards the bathroom, then stopped. ‘Will you keep the kids here tonight?’

‘Yes. Will you come back here?’

‘Mmm. What do you think? Do you want me to, I mean? What will the kids be thinking? This has all happened pretty quick; Aileen being gone, you and me. .’

‘What do I think?’ she replied. ‘To be brutally honest, I think that Mark won’t bat an eyelid, that James Andrew will be pleased. . he didn’t like her and, believe me, I never said a word against her to him. . and that Seonaid will barely notice she’s gone.’

He nodded. ‘Okay then. I’ll see you later.’

He was stepping into the en-suite when she called after him. ‘Hey, Bob?’

He looked over his shoulder. ‘Yeah?’

‘If you did walk away from the job,’ she asked, ‘do you have the faintest idea what you’d do?’

‘Sure. I could collect non-executive directorships, get paid for sitting on my arse and play a lot of golf, but that wouldn’t be my scene. No, if I do that I’ll become a consulting detective; I’ll become bloody Sherlock.’

He looks tired and tense , Paula Viareggio thought. But he also looks more alive than I’ve seen him in a couple of years .

‘I am perfectly fine, Bob,’ she assured him. ‘Honestly. The police doctor checked me out last night and he said exactly that. He checked both of us out in fact. The baby’s good too. For a while afterwards I did wonder if he’d stick his head out to find out what all the fuss was about, but it seems he’s keeping to his timetable.’

‘You’re some woman, Paula,’ Skinner chuckled. They were sitting around a table on the deck of the prospective parents’ duplex. The sun was high enough to catch the highlights in his steel-grey hair.

‘No, I’m just like all the rest. I had my few moments of sheer terror, and I know I’m never going to lose the memory, of the noise more than anything else, the sound of the bullets hitting the poor woman.’

‘Hey, enough,’ her husband said quietly.

‘No, Mario, it’s all right; I yelled my head off at the time, because I was afraid. . I was scared for two, as well. But once something’s happened, it’s happened. You can’t go back, you can’t change it, but the danger’s over and talking about what happened won’t bring it back. So no worries, big fella; I won’t be waking up screaming in the night.’

‘I’m glad you feel that way,’ the chief constable said, ‘because there is a formal murder investigation going on in Glasgow and it would be useful if you could give my DI a statement, for the record.’

‘I won’t have to go through there, will I? I couldn’t be arsed with that.’

‘No, of course not. You don’t need to leave home. Knock it out on your computer, print it, sign it with Mario as witness, then scan it and send it to DI Charlotte Mann.’ He dug a card from his pocket and handed it to her. ‘Her email address is on that.’

‘Will do. Is Aileen having to do the same?’ She paused. ‘That is the one thing that gets to me, Bob: the idea that she was the real target.’