Кен Бруен - Tower

Todd had pleaded with me to stay at his dad’s house. “Makes my dad happy, watching over you and the kid,” he said, rubbing my belly. “You are the only things that have made him smile in years.”

“I’m coming with you,” I said.

“But—”

“I want to meet Shannon. I’m coming.”

He’d lived with me long enough to recognize I couldn’t be swayed once my heart was set on something. Even I couldn’t do much about it. When we were living together in Philly, I tried to not fall in love with him. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but it didn’t seem to matter. Then I tried staying away.

The plan was to meet Nick and Shannon for coffee on Chambers Street and then walk down to the Trade Center together. But as Todd kept reminding anyone within earshot, Nick operated on a different schedule than the rest of the known universe.

“There’s Eastern Standard Time, Greenwich Mean Time, and Nick Time. Fuck!” he said, exasperated. “Let’s go.”

As we got near Vescey Street, somebody started yelling, “Hey, Detective Rosen, slow the fuck down.”

Nick was darting through the crowd, a pissed off looking red head trailing a few feet behind. Todd tried to keep going, but I yanked his arm and we stopped.

“Yo, bro, I’ve missed you.” Nick embraced Todd and whatever anger there was melted away.

“Ah fuck, me too. Christ, it’s good to see you, man.”

I introduced myself to Shannon.

“Look at you!” Nicky said, rubbing my belly. I didn’t mind. You get used to it after awhile.

Shannon was more reserved. She hadn’t had the months with Nick that I’d had with Todd. The ground upon which she walked was less stable. And my guess was that as much as she loved her boy, she had to suffer mixed feelings in the presence of a pregnant woman, her heart a jumble of resentment and concern. I didn’t much like how she was looking at Todd. She seemed angry at him somehow, as if she blamed him for taking Nick away from her. I don’t know, maybe I was reading too much into it. She had to know that, in his way, Todd had saved Nick’s life. For that, I suppose, she hugged him fiercely.

Todd checked his watch. “Shit, it’s time we get up there. Come on.”

I gasped in pain. I mean pain like I was shot. Shannon grabbed my arm and held me steady.

“What is it? Todd asked, latching onto my opposite arm.

I’m gonna have a fucking baby right here in the fucking street. “Nothing.”

Shannon said, “Bullshit! It’s a contraction.”

“I’ll be okay,” I lied. “They’re just Braxton-Hicks contractions, like a false start. I’ve has these on and off for weeks. You guys go on ahead. Get this stuff over with already. I don’t want it hanging over our little boy’s head.”

“Little girl,” Todd disagreed.

“Go!”

“Go!” Shannon seconded. “I’ll take care of her.”

“You sure?”

“She’s in good hands, bro,” Nick said, leaning over to kiss Shannon’s forehead.

“Okay,” Todd agreed, but not eagerly.

I watched until they were swallowed up by the thickening crowds.

“They’re gone, right?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Good, get a fucking cab.”

“Shit!”

Shannon had seen my skirt soaking through and the puddle at my feet.

Ten minutes later, as the cab jerked along West Street, Shannon said something about me looking fully dilated. I was way too busy screaming “Fuck, it hurts!” to remember exactly what she said. The shadow of a giant bird darkened the cab’s windows.

“What’s that noise?” I remember asking that.

The sun warms my face only so much these days and I grow weary of pointing across the river. I never get tired of looking into the depths of the blue sky. One day, I too will float weightlessly to heaven and see God’s eager face. “Come on Nicky, let’s get back to the house.” There had never been any argument. If the baby was a boy, we were going to name him Nick. And Todd was clear that if it was a boy and if we named him Nick, that he would always know why and never have to question who he was.