Микки Спиллейн - The Erection Set

“Don’t, kid.”

It was like the first time I had seen her, with Raul bending over her giving the big pitch and she read him off so beautifully. She threw the rain away from her face and smiled. “I’m only a two-way woman, Dog, I’ve known men, I’ve gone down on them, I’ve had it backward, I’ve experimented in women... but I’m still a virgin. Isn’t that terrible?”

“Get lost.”

“Unh-uh. I’ve been waiting.”

“Then wait for your guy. He may not be dead.”

“I really don’t care anymore.”

“Then you’d better start because something decent’s got to be left in this fucking world.”

“Who’s going to kill you, Dog?”

“Everybody,” I said.

“Can I watch?”

I had held my pack of cigarettes in my hand too long. They were soaked and I tossed them into the mud. She was smiling and I smiled back.

“With pleasure,” I said.

The rain had stopped, but the storm took over and it was wild outside. What had been rain was a slashing downpour, angling against the world like the creations of men were its enemy, trying to wash it down the drain so the earth could start over without all the needless ruination and I agreed with nature and went back outside to do what I had to do.

She met me in Tod’s and I knew everything had gotten all screwed up when I sat down and said, “Hello, Rose.”

Instead of answering she looked into her coffee cup and fiddled with a lone pretzel beside the saucer. “What happened?”

“You ask a lot,” she finally said.

“I know. I pay for it, too.”

There was no reason to push her. I let Tod bring me a beer, waited until he left and took the top off the glass, wiping the foam from my mouth with the back of my hand.

“What happened?”

Her eyes finally crawled up into mine. “They really your family?”

“Only partly.”

I reached out and grabbed her hand. “You hurt?”

“No.”

“Everything work?”

“Oh, you got your pictures, if that’s what you wanted. I couldn’t believe people could be like that.”

“What the hell happened to you, Rose?”

She sipped her coffee, took the cigarette I offered and let me light it for her. “You’re all Barrins, right?”

I said Yes.

“Buddy...”

“Keep talking.”

“He’s a shit.”

“I knew that a long time ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me what kind of a shit he was?”

“I set up the escape route, kid.”

“Thanks. Really thanks. I damn near didn’t make it.”

“Apparently you did though.” I sat back and grinned at her.

“Dammit, stop that smiling, Dog. Just because I’m a total professional whore doesn’t mean you have to smile at me like that.”

“It’s because I like you, kiddo.”

“Go ball yourself.”

“Not right now.”

When she looked up there were tears in her eyes and they weren’t new at all. “Lee’s going to hate me,” she said.

“Your fault.”

“Dog... I’m not as tough as you.”

“But you’re as soft,” I said.

“What good does that do?”

“Remember... I told you to marry my buddy... he needs somebody like you?”

“Yes.”

“Do it.”

“Will he have me?”

“You must be out of your cotton-picking skull. He needs you.”

“But he doesn’t need you anymore, does he?”

“The sky is empty, Rose. It’s all over. Believe?”

“I believe.” She put the cup down and tried hard to smile until it finally worked. “You’ll really let us alone?”

“I will.”

“The bastard tried to kill me,” she said. “I went all the way with the bum and then he wanted to kill me. He never got screwed like what I gave him and then some more plus, but he got wound up so damn tight over something he was going to wipe me out. You know, Dog, I’m a big broad and I’ve been against these types before, but this guy is homicidal. If you hadn’t set everything up, I would have been over the terrace and a lump on the concrete.”

“You’re here now.”

“I should say ‘no thanks to you’... but it happened.”

“Enjoy it?”

“The slob couldn’t even get a normal erection.”

“Help him?”

“All I could for the photos.”

“Good.”

“By the way... not like I never had pictures taken of me before, but what do you do with the negatives?”

“You can have them.”

“I couldn’t care less. Lee knows me.”

“Then let’s not leave any residue behind.”

“I told him, Dog.”

“What did he say?”

She smiled and opened her hands in a gesture of bewilderment. “They shot down the Red Baron too, that’s what he said.”

“He’s been reading too many Peanuts cartoons,” I told her.

“Is it over now?”

I nodded. “For you, yes. All over.”

“Elliot has the films ready. I hope they help.” She picked up her cup and sipped the last of her coffee. “I understand you’re big D now.”

“Big D?”

“Dead.”

“How true,” I told her.

“Somebody’s being suckered in,” Rose said. “Aren’t they?”

“All the way, baby,” I told her.

Sharon gave me a punch in the gut, hurt her hand and I kissed her knuckles for her. If she had hit me an inch higher it would have been a laugh, but she contacted the buckle of the gun belt and wiped the skin off her fingers in a fruitless gesture that made me smile at the femaleness inside her. “You’re a dirty bastard,” she said.

“Why does everybody call me that unless it’s true?”

“I wish I had a gun!”

I gave her mine.

She didn’t know how to hold it so she gave it back.

“All you can do is watch, baby,” I said.

“You big fucking pig you!”

“Shut your mouth and kiss me.”

She came at me like a tiger with a mouth so hot and wet, so damn demanding I had to grab her while we ate each other alive until it got so fierce we had to stand off and look at each other with that wild surprise in our eyes and I said, “Not like that, puss, not like that.”

“Like that,” she smiled.

The rain came down and slashed us apart again, but for a little bit we didn’t even realize it.

Finally she licked the raindrops from her lips and crinkled her nose at me. “Things happen in strange ways, don’t they, Dog?”

“Sometimes.”

“Why did you make me wait so long before you told me about yourself?”

“I had things to do.”

“There were times when I was pretty angry. I even told myself that maybe I’d be better off not having known you at all.”

“Maybe you would at that.”

“But then who would teach me all the things I have to learn yet?”

“There can’t be that much left, puss.”

She gave me a make-believe glare and almost threw another punch at me until she remembered her sore hand. “There’s one thing.”

“Loss of virginity is a natural function,” I told her. “Nature provides the joy to soothe the pain and love to replace the regret of having lost the irretrievable.”

“You don’t have to be so philosophic about it. You forgot the fun part.”

“Just keep it in mind.”

A sudden burst of lightning turned the dusky day a dull blue and we waited for the clap of thunder. It came, echoed off into the distance and she reached for my hand. “What can I do to help?”

“Can you get to the personnel records of the movie company?”

Sharon nodded. “Of course.”

“Good. I want you to run a check on everybody who hired on. Forget anyone under... say, seventy. Make a personal check of their social security cards and if any of them has a new-looking one, or one that looks like it might have been deliberately aged, note it down and check back with me. If they ask any questions, tell them it’s because of your company insurance policy.”