Микки Спиллейн - The Erection Set

“You’re a dirty old man.”

“I’m a sexy senior citizen, remember?”

“Will they?”

“A man of my age is thankful for all he can get and they Seem to be grateful for all I can give them that they could not get otherwise. Funny enough, my clientele seems to think more of me now than before. Do you remember my receptionist...”

“Don’t tell me you banged her!”

“No, but she caught me screwing the Polack and dropped her glasses and stepped on them.” He got up grinning. “As a matter of fact, when I leer at her, certain physical, ah...er...”

“She comes.”

“Precisely,” he said.

“Sexy senior citizen hell,” I told him. “You’re a dirty old man.”

“Isn’t it nice?” Leyland said.

“I hope you miss me,” I said.

“That I will, Dog, that I will. Just do me a favor.”

“Anything, Counselor.”

“You’re not dead yet.”

I repeated his words. “Isn’t that nice. Barely a consolation, but a pretty thought nevertheless.” I lit up a butt and sucked the smoke out of it. “When does Cross deplete Barrin?”

“The raid?”

“Yes, sir.”

For the first time I saw him take out a silver cigar holder, select a long, thin cigar and snip the end off it. It was very studied and very new, like something a Polack broad might teach him. “Quickly,” he said. “Maybe when all the publicity dies down. It’s bound to come, you know.”

“No, I don’t know.”

“What do you think you can do?”

The teeth in my grin were big and fat and I don’t have any unfilled cavities. “Suppose I give him a little more publicity,” I said.

“I don’t like your tone of voice.”

“Nobody does, Counselor. It’s one of those things I keep in reserve.”

“Trouble?”

“Absolutely. Or maybe not. Depends on circumstances.”

“Which ones?”

“Everybody fucks, mighty Hunter.”

“You’re scaring me again.”

“I intend to,” I said. “Incidentally, the house is beautiful. Thanks.”

My lawyer shrugged. “Your money.”

“My Polacks too,” I said. “Have fun.”

They had rewritten the script to take advantage of the rain. The prognosis called for three solid days of downpour before the front moved out into the Atlantic, and a small army of slicker-clad figures were hustling between canvascanopied areas protecting the cameras and sound booth to get ready for the next setup. The principals were all snug in a forty-foot trailer laughing over the clink of glasses while bit players, extras and those in the crowd scene were milling around under a carnival-sized tent.

A snow fence had been set up around the area and even in the rain with nothing special to watch, the curious from town were standing around, some with cameras ready to get shots of the cast when they came out of the trailer. A pair of prowl cars were drawn up to the curb and a half-dozen local cops were in idle conversation with friends outside the barricade.

It took me a half hour before I spotted Hobis and The Chopper. Somehow they had gotten hold of S. C. Cable Production slickers and were policing the area with nail-pointed sticks. The old army game. Nobody bothered you as long as you were busy working. I told them to meet me beside the honey wagon in five minutes, circled the trailers and wardrobe truck and joined them there.

Hobis wasn’t a bit happy. He cupped a cigarette, lit it and let the match sizzle out in a puddle at his feet. “Too damn quiet, Dog.”

“That’s good,” I said.

“It ain’t good at all. It’s got a bad smell to it.”

“Like how?”

He looked past me at the people around the fence and nodded. “Somebody’s here. I can feel it.”

“Do better than that.”

“Faces. I never saw them before, but they’re a type. They move different and they look different. Know what I mean?”

“I know what you mean.”

“So somebody’s here.” He took another drag on the butt, pinched out the light and stuck the stub in his shirt pocket.

“Maybe you know.”

“I have an idea, but it’s not part of your assignment. You two stay with Lee and Sharon.”

The Chopper grunted and wiped the rain off his face with a finger. “Nobody’s after them.”

“I know. They want me.”

“Maybe we ought to lay a cover around you then.”

“Forget it. Let them spot you two and they’ll play it cute. I’d sooner have a direct frontal attack when it comes.”

“Crazy, man,” The Chopper said. “You ought to know better. They know you too. Who the hell’s gonna move in frontwise?”

“I think they will.”

“Your funeral.”

“Maybe theirs.”

“At least we’re paid in advance,” Hobis told me. “Trouble is, I enjoy earning my pay. By the way, that your bust the other night? Like with the Guido bunch?”

I nodded.

“Neat.” He gave me an approving look and grinned. “Couldn’t do much better myself.”

“Thanks. Now stay close to my buddies. The storm’s just beginning to build up.”

“Okay. If we make any of these characters we’ll buzz you.”

“Do that.”

I waited until they were gone, then went back into the rain and the wind that was teasing the earth into a muddy slop before it mustered its forces for the full-scale barrage that was waiting just behind the low scudding clouds. It was early afternoon and seemed like late dusk. At least everybody was miserable together.

Except Dick Lagen who sat in the back of an air-conditioned Cadillac and didn’t seem a bit surprised when I slid beside him. “You’re a hard man to locate, Dog.”

“Not really.”

“I’ve been here almost” — he checked his watch — “two hours.”

“Waiting for me?”

“I knew you’d be curious.”

He held out his pack of cigarettes. I took one and held it to the gold lighter he offered. I cranked the window down an inch and let the smoke drift out with the cold air. “You were wrong, buddy. I’m only interested in your methods. Something I can do for you?”

“In a few moments. I’m waiting for your... friend.”

“My friends are few and far between.”

“This one’s rather special. As a matter of fact, here she comes now.”

In the oversize slicker Sharon looked like some forlorn waif. She threw the hood back and droplets of water glistened on her hair. She laughed, tugged the door open and jumped in beside Dick before she saw me, then her face went through a small contortion of expressions before she smiled again.

“Hello, Dog.”

“Hi, doll.” I grinned at her and flipped the cigarette out the window. “I like you better in a miniskirt.”

She shrugged out of the slicker, tugging the folders of papers from the folds, tossed them on the seat beside her and sat back with her dress halfway up her thighs. “Better?”

“Much.”

Then she stared at the two of us a moment, frowned and brushed the rain away from the strands of hair that stuck to her face. “Am I interrupting a conference? When you sent for me...”

Dick Lagen patted her leg paternally and chuckled. “No conference. I expected to speak to both of you separately, but since you’re both here...”

“What’s on your mind, Dick?” I asked him.

“No need to be so abrupt, old boy. After all, I’m simply a reporter doing a job in the public interest, and if you’ve been following the papers, all this activity certainly is in the public interest. We have a reactivated Barrin Industries, a motion picture being made on the premises, a new spirit coming alive in a town supposedly dead, and for those close to the scene, a specter of doom hovering over the new enterprise in the form of Mr. Cross McMillan. The splash, when it comes, will certainly be newsworthy.”