Линда Ла Плант - Cold Heart

Jake leaned out into the corridor. ‘Bill, you want to come in? I’ll just take five minutes, go to the John.’

Rooney came in, sweating as usual, wanting to take off his jacket, but not sure that he should.

‘Sit down, Billy, before he gets back. We got to talk — he doesn’t seem to take me seriously, but I think I cracked the Nathan case. I’ll need help, and there could be big bucks in it if we can recover the stolen art work. It’s worth millions and I have a damned good idea where it is. Germany. I also know Sonja Nathan killed her husband.’

‘Rosie’s with me, she won’t be a minute.’

‘Okay. Let me get this sorted out before she comes in. First you have to check out Nathan’s fake passports, there’s a letter in my purse he sent to his mother from Germany. I think — in fact, I’m sure — Sonja Nathan was working with her ex-husband on this art fraud scam. It’s big money, Bill, not a few hundred thousand dollars, but millions.’

He looked at her, lying so still, eyes closed as if she was sleeping.

‘You look beautiful, darlin’,’ he said softly.

‘Oh, quit with the flattery. Listen to what I’m saying. We trace those paintings, we’ll all be in for a few bucks to retire on, Billy. I’m out after this case, and all I want to do is crack it — you know the way I am. Now, I need you first to contact Feinstein, then get my briefcase out of the apartment, Bill. Then you and Rosie do another trip to Europe. I want this case cleared before I quit, know what I mean? I get married to Jake and... You like him, don’t you? He’s an okay guy, isn’t he? And I’m going to tell you something. I was so scared, Bill — you know, I didn’t think I had any right to love or be loved. He loves me, Billy.’

‘We’re taking care of Tiger,’ Rooney said, trying to think of something to say, then told her how the dog had already destroyed their new sofa.

Lorraine laughed, that big, bellowing laugh of hers. ‘Hey, Bill, did you ever tell Rosie about that guy, remember him? With the lottery ticket? God, that was funny.’

Rosie came in, smiled at Bill, and drew up a chair.

‘Hey, Rosie, did Billy ever tell you about Chester Brackenshaw? When we were working together. Well, this guy Chester was a real pain in the butt, always going on about what he would or wouldn’t do when he won the lottery, and he was a real practical joker, wasn’t he, Bill? Anyways...’

‘She looks beautiful,’ Rosie said.

‘Thank you, but my nightdress is on back to front. Anyway, Chester goes every Friday to this club, an’ me and the guys work this scam out — like I said, he was a real practical joker — and we get his lottery ticket numbers. It was you, wasn’t it, Bill? You got ’em out of his wallet. Anyway, hasn’t Bill told you this, Rosie?’

‘She’s got her nightdress on back to front,’ Rosie said, fussing.

‘I know, I know... but listen, he goes to the club, right? And we get the DJ in on the joke and tell him to announce the winning lottery numbers. So he stops playing records and he announces all Chester’s numbers, and we all expected him to start buying drinks for the house. After we’d got him to spend his wages, we were going to let him in on the joke, but... he did nothing. Like, we saw him check his card, but he puts it back in his wallet, right, Bill?’

‘Shall I comb her hair?’ Rosie said to Bill.

‘Leave it, just leave it, and listen... we all think he knows he’s been had, and we’re all waiting for him to get back at us some way, but he doesn’t, but then as we’re all leaving the place, he suddenly throws his car keys at his wife, Sandra — her name was Sandra, wasn’t it, Bill? Yeah, “Sandra,” he says, “take the car, it’s yours, and you can have the house. I hate your guts and I’ve been screwing your sister for two years, but I’ve won the lottery, so fuck you!”’ She roared with laughter, seeing all the guys lined up behind Chester trying to make him shut up.

Lorraine fell silent then as Sissy, Mike’s wife, appeared in the doorway. ‘Mike’s coming, he’s in court,’ Sissy said, ushering in the girls. Just hearing her daughters made Lorraine feel so emotional she couldn’t joke any more. The two girls took Rooney and Rosie’s chairs, side by side, and she was so proud of them.

‘Come on in, Sissy, don’t be embarrassed, I’m not. In fact, I’d like to say something to you. It’s... well, it’s thank you. You’ve taken such care of my girls, and I want you to know I don’t resent you. I did, but I don’t now. In fact, I’d like to kiss you.’

Sissy leaned over the bed and kissed Lorraine’s cheek. ‘I’ll be outside if you need me,’ she said to the girls, then left them alone with Lorraine.

Julia was the first to reach out to the still, cold hand. ‘I’m wearing the bracelet you got for me.’ She hesitated and then said softly, ‘Thank you, Mom.’

‘Oh, now, don’t you cry — I don’t want to see you crying,’ Lorraine said, but then was so close to tears herself she couldn’t continue.

Julia turned to Sally: ‘Say thank you to Mommy, Sally, go on.’

Sally gently touched Lorraine’s fingers. ‘Thank you, Mommy.’

Lorraine burst into tears: she had never believed she would hear them call her that again. She told them how proud she was, that she knew Julia was a great tennis player and Sally was a gold medalist at her college for swimming. ‘One day, maybe you’ll understand — I wasn’t really me for such a long time, but all the times I wasn’t with you, all the times I should have been there, I never stopped loving you both with all my heart. I want you to have a good and happy future, and I know you’ve got a good father... because I loved him too. Hey, Mike, I was just talkin’ about you.’

Mike came and stood between his daughters, then took Lorraine’s hand and kissed it.

‘Say goodbye to your mom.’

Both girls whispered goodbye, and Lorraine was upset that they were crying — she didn’t want them to cry. She watched them leaving the room, and called after them, called each daughter by name, and they turned and looked at her.

‘I love you, babies. I love you.’

She wanted Jake again, needed him, in fact wanted him to be there more than Mike or the girls. She felt so light, as if she were floating, and she wanted him to hold on to her. She had the eerie feeling she was going somewhere, and she called out his name.

He stood in the doorway, and she sighed with relief. For a few moments she had thought he had gone, but he came to her side. ‘I’m here, darling, I’m here,’ he said softly, and she began to relax, knowing he was holding her hand.

‘I want you to know, I don’t care how long it takes, but I’ll get him. We even had him in custody, but we had nothing to hold him on — there were no prints on the baseball bat, nothing.’

She was confused for a while, not understanding what he was talking about, but then he said the name. Eric Lee Judd. Where had she heard that name before? Then she remembered the alley and the moment she had shouted at the boy to stop. She remembered it all now, all the years she had tried to bury the guilt with drink and wanted to pay for what she had done: now she knew that at long last she was paying the ultimate price.

She knew then that it was over, and the last thing she heard, and would ever hear as she floated free of pain was Jake’s voice, filled with love, the love that had given her a happiness she felt she had no right to enjoy, and that now absolved her of guilt and gave her final release. She began to float, way above the bed, and the pain stopped. It was such a relief when the awful pain in her head stopped, and she felt at peace. Hearing him say that he loved her had freed her soul: it was the best way to go.