JASON STARR - Panic Attack

Shit, now what? The backyard had tall picket fences on all sides with no real place to hide, and Bloom’s car was going to turn into the driveway in maybe five seconds.

As a kid, Johnny had learned how to run away from the cops and kids who’d wanted to kick the shit out of him. He’d always been a great climber- fences, trees, he could climb anything. He leaped onto the fence and hoisted himself up. If he’d had more time he could’ve gotten over easily, but he couldn’t find any good support for his feet, and the top of the fence had pointy wooden spikes. He could hear the car getting close, probably right about to turn into the driveway. Using all his strength, he pulled himself up and in the same motion managed to lift his legs up and swing them over the top of the fence. Then he let go with his hands, but he wasn’t over yet. His leather jacket got caught on the top of the fence. He reached up, freed himself, and fell down hard on to his ass right as Bloom’s car was heading up the driveway.

His ass and lower back killed, but he was fine. More important, he’d managed to make it over the fence just in time, without Bloom seeing him.

What did see him was a German shepherd in the house next door to the Blooms. The stupid mutt was on its hind legs, clawing at the window, trying to break through the glass. Johnny was going to stay where he was- the dog was in the house; it couldn’t come after him- but, shit, what if somebody was in the house and came over to see why the dog was barking? The person would see Johnny in the backyard, huddled on the ground, in plain view.

Johnny got up, ran to the driveway of the house with the dog, and stayed as close to the house as he could, without moving at all, but the dog, the son of a bitch, had come to the side of the house and was barking, clawing against the window.

Then Johnny heard a woman’s voice inside the house- there must’ve been a screen on the window- saying, “What is it, Blackie?”

Johnny didn’t think the woman would be able to see him, but he wasn’t sure. She would definitely see him if she opened the screen and looked out. He couldn’t run away, because he didn’t know if Bloom had gone into his house yet, so he had to stay where he was and hope for the best.

“What? Where? I don’t see anything,” the woman said, but the dog was still barking insanely. Then the woman said, “Come on, just stop it… I said stop it right now.”

The dog wouldn’t shut up, but the barking sounding farther away, like the woman was pulling the dog away from the window.

Johnny stayed there for a couple of minutes longer, just to make sure Bloom had gone into the house, and then he went to the sidewalk and turned left, away from the Blooms’ house, and went back toward the commercial area of Forest Hills.

All in all, Johnny was happy with the way things had gone. He’d accomplished what he’d wanted to, anyway, and now it was just a matter of going back home and seeing how it played out.

And it played out all right.

At around two o’clock, as he was getting off the subway in Brooklyn, Marissa called him, sounding like a mess, saying that when she came home her parents were in the middle of a big fight. Johnny acted confused, saying, “A fight? What about?” Marissa said that her father had found out that her mother had been screwing her trainer and- get this- it turned out her father had been screwing somebody, too, the mother of Marissa’s best friend. Johnny thought, Man, what a fucked- up family. The parents were cheating on each other, and the daughter was an unhappy spoiled brat. It was like they were all just begging for somebody to come along and put them out of their misery.

Johnny insisted that Marissa come back to his place to “get away from all of that craziness.” Ah, was this beautiful or what? She was already so dependent on him, and they’d only known each other about a week. Johnny had pulled off some great hustles, but this time he was outdoing himself.

When Marissa arrived she hugged him tightly, like she never wanted to let go, and said, “I’m only happy when I’m with you.”

Later, after screwing a couple of times, Marissa was sleeping, resting her head on Johnny’s chest. But he was hyped up, wide awake, thinking about his plan, trying to work out every detail. This was so great, with Dana and Adam; now he had to make his big move, as soon as he could.

In the morning- it was Monday- Johnny suggested meeting Marissa later in Manhattan.

Johnny could tell Marissa loved the idea, but she said, “Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want you to get sick of me.”

“How could I possibly get sick of you?” he asked.

She blushed, then said, “Seriously, maybe it’s not such a great idea.”

“I want to see you again,” he said, “and I think it’s a good idea to give your parents some space, you know?”

This line had been unrehearsed, but it was so perfect.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said, “and I’d like to be around them as little as possible myself, but I just don’t want to impose on you.”

“Are you kidding?” he said. “I want to spend as much time around you as I can. I’d spend every second with you if I could.”

She loved this. After they kissed for a while, she said, “But I have to go home and shower and change and take care of some stuff first. I can meet you back here at around five.”

He knew she’d want to go home first. He said, “I have an idea. Let’s meet in the city at six thirty. We can grab a bite to eat, then go to a movie.”

She said this sounded great, and they arranged to meet outside the subway station at Fifty- ninth Street and Lexington Avenue.

Marissa left Johnny’s at a little before one o’clock. He wanted to make his move today, but he needed to find out her parents’ schedule. He didn’t want to do this half- assed. He wanted to take care of every last detail.

He went to a phone booth about ten blocks away- he didn’t want to make the calls from too close to his apartment- and called information and got the number of Dr. Adam Bloom, Ph.D., in Manhattan. He called and asked the woman who answered if he could speak with Dr. Bloom. The woman said that Dr. Bloom couldn’t come to the phone, he was with a patient. Of course Johnny would’ve hung up if Adam had been available; and he said, “That’s okay, I’ll call him later. What time will he be there till tonight?”

“His last patient’s at five.”

Shit, that was too early. That meant Bloom might leave at six and be home at seven.

“Okay, thanks,” Johnny said.

The woman was saying, “If you want to leave a number I’ll-” as Johnny hung up.

Later, back at his apartment, Johnny called Marissa and asked if they could meet at seven thirty instead of six thirty.

“That’s totally fine,” Marissa said. “I was just about to call you. My friend Hillary wants to meet me for drinks at five thirty, and I thought six thirty was cutting it too close.”

This was so perfect. She was pushing back the plans.

“Cool,” Johnny said. “There’s an eight thirty movie so that’s no problem at all.”

Actually, he had no idea what the movie schedule was, but he figured he could cover for this later if he had to.

“Great,” she said. “Oh, God, I can’t wait to see you. It’s been another nightmare day here.”

She told him that she’d found out her parents were getting divorced- more great news as far as Johnny was concerned.

“So is your mom home now?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “She was just in here asking me if I was okay with the divorce, if I was going to be traumatized by it.” She laughed, then asked, “Why?”

He didn’t think she was suspicious, she was just asking.