Dave Zeltserman: Fast Lane

“I know,” I said. “It was a barrel of laughs. I’ll be seeing you around.”

He pulled himself out of his chair, still glowering. When he got to the door, he turned back to me. “I’m sending out a reporter to Carson City to see if we can find out anything about Bertram Debbles. If you want to go with him, I’ll have the paper pick up your expenses.”

“I don’t know,” I answered slowly. “To be honest, I’m getting sick of your hunches. Anyway, if your man got a hangnail or something while I was with him, I’d hate to think what I’d be made to look like by your paper. Don’t slam the door too hard behind you.”

He chuckled softly. “I’ll be seeing you, Johnny.” I didn’t even hear him close the door.

I was puzzled by the way he acted. There was no reason for him to have those suspicions about me. Well, he’d been put in his place and made to see he was acting like a danged idji-damned idiot. Still, there was something behind it. And why did he say Mary “tried to commit suicide”? That was an awful funny way of putting it. She didn’t just try-I SAW THE HOLE IN HER HEAD, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!

Someone was banging on the office door. Eddie must have come up with another needle or two that he wanted to shove into me. Well, let him-a hell of a lot of good it was going to do him. I opened the door and saw Max Roth grinning from ear to ear.

“Sorry, Max,” I mumbled. “Nothing’s come up yet. I’ll call you as soon as something does.”

“That’s okay,” he said. He moved his body so it blocked the door. “Mind if I come in?”

“No, not at all,” I stepped aside and let him through. “How are things going for you?”

“I can’t complain.” He sat down, still grinning.

“I’m glad to hear it. How’s the wife?”

“Terrific.” He beamed. “She’s been feeling great lately. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happier, and it’s really-”

“Yeah, well, I’m happy for you, Max. And how about your boys, they causing too many problems for you?”

“Not at all. I’m so proud of those boys, Johnny. Stevie just made his football team, and Ben is an awfully good kid. You ought to come over sometime and see them. The whole family would like it. Anytime you want, Johnny.”

“I’d sure like to, but-” But why the hell was he grinning? “But I just don’t have time right now. I appreciate the offer, though.”

“Why don’t we set a date? How’s next Friday?”

“We’ll see,” I muttered. A dull throbbing started in my temples. There was a reason he was grinning like that. What the hell was it? “What do you want to talk about?”

“One of my cases-”

“That’s good,” I nodded. “See what happens when you listen to me? You take a little responsibility for yourself, and everything works out fine. So you need some help on it?”

“Well, sort of.”

“ Be glad to help,” I said. “It’s good seeing you standing on your own two feet.”

“Thanks. It’s not exactly help I need. I just need some information.”

“Yeah?” I asked, puzzled.

“Mary Williams hired me to find her parents.”

The other shoe dropped. So that was why he was grinning like a bastard. A sneaky, underhanded bastard. He had gone behind my back and talked Mary into hiring him. She was going to fire me-why shouldn’t she if she already hired another detective? And . . . .

And if I was going to start looking for coincidences, I had an awful big one right under my nose. There was a reason Eddie was acting the way he was. There was a reason the two of them came to my office, one right after the other. Someone had shaken a hornet’s nest and tossed it down Eddie’s pants. And the son of a bitch was sitting across from me, grinning like there was no tomorrow.

“So that’s it, huh?” I asked.

“So that’s what?” he asked right back, playing dumb.

“You went behind my back and . . . .” And if he didn’t wipe that grin off his face I was going to do it for him!

“I still don’t understand what you’re talking about,” he said, still playing dumb, still grinning from ear to ear.

“I think you do. I’m disappointed in you, Max. I thought we were friends. I thought you appreciated all I’ve done for you, making you just about a partner and all. But, well, if you’re going to show it by sneaking behind my back, well, I’m just disappointed.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I don’t suppose there’s much you could say, after what you’ve done.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Johnny. I didn’t sneak behind your back, though. Mary wasn’t happy with the way you were doing the job so she hired me.”

“I got to disagree with you.” I stared at him, my eyes starting to water from the unfairness of it. From the underhandedness and disloyalty and treachery. I turned away from him, choking back the pain. “I don’t think we can do business anymore. I think you better leave while you still can.”

“If that’s the way you feel, okay. I still need to talk with you.”

“About what?”

“I’d like to know what you found out about Mary’s case. I’m still working for her, and maybe you have some information that can help me.”

I shook my head. “Max,” I said, sadly. “You shouldn’t have treated me like that, because you didn’t get anything from it. Or maybe you got exactly what you deserved. You don’t have a case anymore. Your client’s dead.”

“Is that so?”

“She committed suicide. She put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. Eddie Braggs, the editor at the Examiner, just told me.”

“I didn’t know she was dead, though,” he said. “I just came back from Denver Memorial and she was doing fine. I think you must have misunderstood.”

I sat back in my chair. A coolness made me lightheaded. “She’s in a coma,” he said, pursing his lips. “But the doctors think she’ll be coming out of it any day now. It’s remarkable, it really is, Johnny. She was shot in the head, right by the temple, and the doctors think she’ll make a full recovery. She’ll be able to tell us what happened.”

I could hardly believe it. It did something to me-took kind of a weight off my heart. Because, after all, she was my own flesh and blood, and she was going to have a second chance. I was so choked up hearing it, I almost started bawling. “That’s wonderful,” I gushed, fighting to keep the tears held back. “She’s such a sweet kid. I hated to think of her dead.”

He stopped grinning, completely. There was something in the way he was looking at me, like he was disappointed. Disappointed that I’d feel glad for Mary. That I’d want her to be okay. But, how could she be? I saw the hole in her head. I saw her brains leaking from it. At least, I was pretty sure I did.

Anyway, having Max look at me that way made me sore. I realized why he’d been grinning before. I understood what he was trying to do. I felt the blood pushing into my head. I could feel the hotness of it. I shoved my hands in my pockets, hoping they’d stay there. Hoping I could keep from tearing that heartless son of a bitch apart.

“She’ll be okay.” He nodded, still staring at me. “The doctors think she’ll be coming out of the coma any time now. Well, I-”

“What did you come here for?”

He tried bringing back his grin, but couldn’t. “I-I th-thought you could help me. According to her adoption records, she came from an Oklahoma City hospital. Mary told me you went out there and didn’t find anything?”

“Yes sir,” I said. “Why don’t you give it a try and see if you have any better luck.”

I almost laughed out loud thinking about it, because there was nothing for him to find. Even if he met up with Rose, she wasn’t going to say anything to him. How could she? She’d have a tough time saying much of anything the way her tongue had swollen up. When I left her, it was thicker than one of those store-bought salamis. Anyway, he’d have to dig her up to find her, and six feet is a lot of digging.