Ed Gorman: Rough Cut

I pushed the door open and went in.

In the moonlight through the large living-room window, I saw him.

He stood silhouetted in the window, facing me, leaning against the ledge as if he were perfectly relaxed.

He held a gun and it was aimed directly at me.

"You're too late," he said. "She's dead."

His statement stopped me completely. Rage, disbelief, the first wave of shock-all moved through me at the same time.

I would have lunged at him, unafraid of his weapon, but I had no strength.

All I could do was stand and breathe and try to collect my thoughts into something coherent-but something that did not face what he'd just told me.

"You killed him," he said.

"I didn't," I said after a time. "I didn't have anything to do with it. Neither did Cindy."

"Just by being who you are, you killed him," Tommy said. "Your kind of people…" There was a rage in his voice that matched the rage in my heart. "They blackmailed him into helping with the robbery. They'd found out about a drunk driving rap he'd had one time-they threatened to tell his bosses."

Tommy had started crying.

"I'm sorry, Tommy," I said, and I was.

"He was the only thing that kept me going in the orphanage," Tommy said. "He would've taken me if he could've afforded it."

"I'm sure he was a good man, Tommy," I said. Then I thought of Cindy and my pity for him waned.

I wanted to kick him as I'd kicked Stokes earlier tonight. Only Tommy I wanted to kick to death.

"It doesn't matter anymore," Tommy said, "who lives or who dies. It just doesn't matter."

In silhouette I could see him raise the gun. I heard the safety come off.

I gathered myself enough to stall him a little.

"Another killing," I said.

"Like I said, it doesn't matter. It didn't matter to them about my uncle. They killed him, anyway."

"Tommy-" He raised the gun.

It happened so quickly I scarcely realized what he'd done. Turn the weapon on himself. Directly to his forehead. Squeeze the trigger. Once.

Which was more than enough.

I was in the bedroom by the time Tommy had fallen to the floor. There was nothing I could do for him, anyway. Cindy was sprawled on the bed.

There was no sign of blood. But neither was there any sign of breathing.

I got the table light on and saw immediately that he'd strangled her. Probably he hadn't wanted to waken the neighbors with gunshots.

Bonnell pounded into the room.

"Let me," he said, rushing over.

But I couldn't let go of her. I held on to her as if we would be embracing that way for eternity.

Bonnell wasn't impressed.

He wanted to help her, if that was still possible.

I can't ever recall being hit so hard in my life. He knocked me unconscious in a single punch.

Four hours later the young intern in the white smock signaled that I could go into the room. He held up three fingers-the three minutes I'd agreed to.

The window was smudged with overcast morning light. In her hospital bed she looked very white and very frail. I went over to her side and started to lean down and kiss her when her eyes came open.

"Hi," she said, after bringing me into focus.

I sighed. It was great to hear her talk. She could have read the phone book and I would have been delighted.

"Hi," I said back.

"I guess it all got resolved, didn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Poor Tommy. Before he started choking me, he told me about himself. I can't help it, I feel sorry for him."

I thought of Tommy the last way I'd seen him-virtually without a head. "Yeah," I said, "poor Tommy."

She smiled up at me. "You still thinking about giving up your bachelor status?"

I smiled back. "Thinking about it, yes." Then I said, "Last night, when I was helping you up the steps to my apartment, I told you that I loved you."

"I hope I had the grace to be appreciative." She reached out her hand. "I love you too, Michael."

An intern came in looking very serious.

"I'll be back tonight," I said to Cindy.

"You'd better be," she said.

I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and left. She was dozing off before I got out the door.

Bonnell was in the lobby.

"I figured I'd find you here," he said.

"I have to fill out evidence forms or something?" I said.

"Not that I know of. It's wrapped up. We found the gems in Denny Harris's basement." He smiled. "Just thought I'd buy us both a little breakfast. My wife hates cooking, so I thought I'd do her a favor and eat out."

"Sounds great," I said.

I paused, looking back at the room.

"Nothing's ever easy, is it?" I said, thinking of the last few days, then thinking of Cindy.

"Nothing worth having," he said, leading the way down the hall to the elevators.