Mark Gimenez - The Common Lawyer

Andy said, "Large."

"Like I don't know, three thousand straight days I've made your coffee."

Guillermo Garza. Every morning since Andy had first moved into SoCo ten years before, he had stopped at Jo's and bought a large coffee and a muffin, two since his dad had transferred guardianship of Max to him.

"Banana nut muffin for me and a…"

Max was fixated on the freshly-baked muffins behind the low glass display; the intoxicating smell had him salivating only slightly more than Andy.

"Max, you want banana nut or blueberry?" Max barked. "Blueberry?" Another bark. Back to Guillermo: "Max is going for a blueberry this morning."

Guillermo bagged the muffins and nodded at the Huffy.

"You steal a kid's bike?"

"Crashed the Schwinn."

"You land on your face?"

"Several times."

Guillermo pointed down the street.

"I saw that stunt you just pulled coming off Nellie. One of those SUVs hits you, dude, you're a piece of history… and Congress Avenue."

Andy shrugged. "Nothing like a little adrenaline rush to get your day going."

"First step to recovery, Andy, is to admit you're a junkie."

"Never denied it."

"Brother, you got more guts than brains." Guillermo Garza knew of what he spoke; he had an M.A. in political science. "Any progress on the Slammer?"

Andy threw a thumb at the Huffy.

"You're looking at it."

They fist-punched through the open window.

"Keep the faith, bro."

Andy paid, grabbed the coffee and muffins, and walked over to the tree-shaded patio. Max slinked by the Great Dane as inconspicuously as possible. Andy sat at a table and placed Max's blueberry muffin and the coffee lid on a napkin on the ground; he poured coffee into the lid. Max tasted the coffee and barked.

"It is good."

Andy leaned back, took a long sip, and felt his body come alive when the caffeine hit his system; Jo's brew was double-strong. He bit into the muffin and glanced around at the other regulars.

"Keep Austin Weird" was the official slogan of the City of Austin. North of the river in downtown, it was just a marketing tool; but south of the river in SoCo it was a daily reality-and weird you would find at Jo's. Young men and "womyn"-you spell it "women" in SoCo and they'll castrate you like a stray dog-were savoring a morning java at Jo's: Ray, tapping on his laptop, a Ph. D. in anthropology who was writing the Great American Novel when he wasn't driving a cab… Darla, Masters in psychology, with her tattoos and wild rainbow hair and Pippi Longstocking leggings and red high-topped retro sneakers; she dished out ice cream at Amy's across the street… Oscar, B.A. in art, grabbing a large Jo's before he started his shift at Guero's two blocks away… George, strumming his guitar and enjoying a latte before commencing his twelve-hour work day playing for tips on the curb… Dwight, blogging his life on his laptop, recording every thought that crossed his mind for all the world to enjoy; he averaged two hits per day… and an assortment of other tattooed-and-pierced oddballs.

SoCo was like a can of mixed nuts. Fortunately, the cashew of the neighborhood, Queen Leslie, wasn't present that morning. The sight of a middle-aged man wearing a black bra and a pink thong first thing in the morning always made Andy nauseous. The Queen was a harmless homeless transvestite and a SoCo fixture. He was also a serial mayoral candidate; he had once gotten three thousand votes despite campaigning in women's lingerie. His mere presence assured that SoCo would retain its perfect ten rating on the Weird-Shit-O-Meter-of-Life.

But weird was normal in the thirteen-block stretch of South Congress that constituted SoCo. The people, the shops, the music, the tattoos. Especially the tattoos. Getting a tattoo inked into your skin was a tribal ritual in SoCo, like Mayan Indians who had scarred their bodies to declare their tribal identity. No tattoo and you were marked as an outlander in SoCo, a tourist, a pale-skinned spectator in this multicolored extravaganza called life. Andy Prescott was a member of the tribe. The tattoo on his upper arm was a steel-gray horse head, the American IronHorse motorcycle emblem. He had gotten stupid drunk one night and let Ramon ink it in.

And most of all, SoCo was about slacking off. Austin had always been a city of slackers; difference was, SoCo's slackers were credentialed, boasting B.A.'s and M.A.'s and J.D.'s and Ph. D.'s from the University of Texas. But UT graduated ten thousand such students every year, and none of them wanted to leave Austin. Consequently, the Austin job market was tighter than Queen Leslie's thong. So they drove cabs and waited tables and served coffee and wrote novels that would never be published.

And they all hung out at Jo's.

Andy stood, grabbed the Chronicle, and walked over to the pickup window. He paid again, and Guillermo handed him a small paper bag.

"Later, dude."

He saddled up, folded the Chronicle lengthwise and tucked it inside his back waistband, put the helmet on, and whistled to Max. He steered and held the bag with his left hand and the coffee with his right hand. He rode up a gentle slope for two blocks past the San Jose with the tall agave plants lining the sidewalk and Guero's where Ronda was sweeping the front porch. He crossed over Elizabeth Street and pedaled down the sidewalk past Lucy in Disguise with Diamonds with its facade of faces from Jesus to the Beatles and Uncommon Objects with a metal sculpture of a cowboy riding a jackrabbit above the marquee.

Andy braked to a stop in front of a storefront at 1514 South Congress with BODY ART BY RAMON in neon script across the plate-glass window. The door was locked; Ramon didn't open until noon. Intoxication was a prerequisite to obtaining a tattoo; consequently, most of his clientele stumbled in between the hours of 10:00 P.M. and 2:00 A.M., closing time. Hence, Ramon Cabrera did not work mornings, except by appointment. Floyd T. was manning the stoop and writing in his Big Chief notebook.

"Morning, Floyd T."

Andy got off the bike and removed the Chronicle from his waistband.

"Hello, Andy. How's the world treating you today?"

"A few too many Coronas last night."

"I feel your pain."

"You doing okay?"

Floyd T. shrugged. "For a homeless person."

Floyd T. was the 1500 block's resident homeless person. The business owners had adopted him. They watched out for him, they paid for his heart medicine, and once a week someone drove him over to the downtown homeless shelter for a shower. Andy hoped today would be that day because the August heat had ripened Floyd T. His hair was wild, his beard thick, and his eyes blue. He looked up at Andy over the red reading glasses he had recovered from a dumpster.

"You need a haircut, soldier."

"You need a bath."

Floyd T. frowned then sniffed himself.

"Has it been a week already?"

Andy handed him the paper bag. Floyd T. shut his notebook and tossed it into his grocery cart stationed next to him. He opened the bag and removed the coffee and muffin.

"Banana nut. My favorite. Thanks, Andy."

Floyd T.-no one knew what the T stood for-was one of five thousand people who called the streets of Austin home. He was sixty-two years old and a Vietnam vet, like Andy's father. But while his father had come home intact, Floyd T. had come home without his left leg below the knee and addicted to heroin. He had been clean and sober for several years now, but his world did not extend beyond those few blocks of South Congress Avenue. He still wore his green Army jacket, ratty after forty years, and his Army boots.

Through a mouthful of muffin, Floyd T. said, "You crashed again?"

"Yep."

"See a medic?"

"Just flesh wounds."

Floyd T. pointed the muffin at the Chronicle in Andy's hand.