Peter Spiegelman - Black Maps

“First things first,” he said.

He made us lie on the bathroom floor while he took a leak and showered and shaved. My bathroom isn’t small, but even so it was cramped with the three of us in there, and the forced intimacy with Mills-the proximity of his white, hairless body, and his smell, and the sounds he made-was bizarre and repellent. I was filled with a sudden rage when he picked through my medicine cabinet, and I had to stop myself straining at the cuffs. Jane had grown very still. Her body was relaxed and her breathing was like clockwork, but her face was immobile and her eyes remote. I spoke to her softly while Mills was in the shower and we lay on the floor, our faces against the tile.

“I’m glad I had the cleaning lady in this week,” I said. She looked at me, but before she could speak, Mills kicked me in the head with a wet foot.

“Shut the fuck up, John.”

He made us lie on the floor in my bedroom while he rifled my closets. He put on a pair of corduroys and a button-down shirt. He was taller than me, and skinny, but they fit well enough. The shower and the fresh clothes made him look cleaner but not better. Staring out from his shaven face, his eyes looked somehow more crazy. He marched us out to the sofa and pushed us down on it again. He stood before us, tapping his bare foot.

“Cash,” he said. He looked at me, expectantly.

“There’s a hundred or so in my wallet, on the counter, and maybe three hundred in my top dresser drawer. If you want more than that, we need to go to a cash machine,” I said.

“I’m sure you’d love to make that trip, huh?” He looked at Jane. “What about you?” She turned toward him, but seemed to look right through him.

“There are two hundred dollars in my bag,” she said. Her voice was dead flat. He looked at her a while and nodded. He picked up her purse and looked through it. He pocketed the cash and put her cell phone on the counter. He looked at her driver’s license photo and back at Jane.

“It doesn’t do you justice,” he said. Shit. Then he went into the bedroom and came back quickly with a wad of cash.

“Six hundred twenty-seven dollars total. Not great, but a start,” he said. He looked at me. “Car keys.”

“I don’t own a car,” I said slowly. Mills’s pale face grew paler, and his wide, thin mouth twitched. He backhanded me with the gun. I saw it coming and flicked my head back, but not far enough. He caught me on the eyebrow. It started to bleed.

“You just keep fucking me up here, John. How can you not own a car? It’s not like you can’t afford to keep one. What are you, too fucking cheap?” He shook his head and said something to himself. He turned to Jane. “How about you?” She looked through him and shook her head. Mills looked at her, and for a moment I thought he was going to hit her too, and my whole body tensed. But he relaxed.

“Fuck it,” he said. “A car would’ve been nice, but it could’ve been a hassle too. What I’m thinking now is maybe a bus. What do you think, John? I take the PATH to Jersey City, hop on a Jersey Transit train to Trenton, connect over to the Philly commuter line, and catch a bus from Philly to Miami. And once I’m in Miami, John, I am gone, gone, gone.” He liked the story he was telling, and he liked telling it to us. He knew the implications, and knew that we did too. He smiled, and his eyes were shiny.

“So, good company, a good night’s sleep, and an early start in the morning. That sounds like a plan to me. But first, some dinner.” He went into the kitchen and started rummaging through the refrigerator and the cabinets. He muttered to himself about the pitiful state of my larder.

I looked at Jane and smiled what I hoped was a comforting smile. She stared back at me, uncomforted. Mills was crazy, and he was getting crazier by the minute, and we both knew it. He wasn’t pretending that we could walk away from this if we just cooperated; I wouldn’t have believed him if he had. He’d killed twice and liked it, and he was going to do it again. The only questions were when, and what would come first, and would he give me any opening at all.

He took his head out of the refrigerator suddenly, as if a thought had occurred to him, and he looked over at the paper bags near the front door. White cardboard containers had spilled out of them. One had burst open, and a pile of cold sesame noodles was growing colder on the wood floor. He walked over, knelt down, picked up a few noodles in his fingers, and ate them.

“Now, this is more like it. A little dusty, but definitely more like it,” he said, chuckling.

He sat at the kitchen counter, eating from the containers with the complimentary chopsticks. He ate quickly, but he was messy. He worked his way through the food in silence, staring at us-mostly at Jane-as he ate. He wiped his mouth and threw the napkin on the counter and sighed.

“That was good. A little cold, but excellent choices. My compliments.” He nodded to Jane. She was still and distant. “Now, shall we see what the future holds?” He broke open a fortune cookie and looked at the strip of paper inside and began laughing wildly. “Oh, this is priceless-really priceless,” he cackled. He held the fortune up. “You will receive an unexpected visit,” he read. His shoulders shook and his face reddened and little tears formed in his eyes. He was becoming hysterical, and he fought to control it. After a while he won. He took a deep breath and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.

“Must be the MSG; goes right to my head.” He focused on us again, and then on Jane. She was motionless and far, far away. “Hey, pearl of the Orient, do you ever talk? I know you’re miffed because I fucked up your cozy little evening with John-boy. Well, your honey fucked me out of a few million dollars, so you tell me, who’s worse off? But hey, maybe later we can make it up to one another, huh?” Jane gave him no reaction. He picked the gun off the counter and started tossing it lightly from one hand to the other. He was working himself up to it now. He looked at me.

“You like the inscrutable types, John? Is she a change of pace after the late Mrs. March? Hope to change your luck by changing models, maybe?” Mills paused, and said in a stage whisper, “I got a newsflash for you, pal, it’s not working.” He laughed wildly at his joke, and his laughter threatened to go over the edge again, but he pulled it back. Shit.

“It’s a pity Bernie can’t join us tonight. I know he would’ve loved this. And you made a real impression on him, John. I mean, he had a serious hard-on for you, and it just got worse when he read all that stuff about you. And of course, he always loved the ladies.” He looked at Jane, but she gave him nothing. He moved closer to her.

“And speaking of ladies, I saw the lovely and talented Helene Pierro come in and out of here this afternoon. First time I’ve seen her with clothes on; almost didn’t recognize her. Frankly, I like her better without. Very limber, and such a nice way with the language. I guess Bernie was right after all, about you working for Pierro.” He stood in front of Jane and put his hand on her shoulder, and my stomach lurched. Jane was perfectly still, her gaze beyond the horizon. He was getting to it now.

“Poor Bernie. I’ll miss him in a way. He wasn’t dumb, just a little crass. But he was inventive. And let me tell you, he could’ve had quite a career in adult entertainment. Did you ever get to see his work, John? Maybe with Jane’s help I could re-create some of his more memorable moments. For your viewing pleasure, and as a sort of memorial to Bernie. I know…”

I didn’t see it coming, and neither did Mills. Jane was fast. Her square boot heels hammered his bare feet like pile drivers, and while the scream was still forming in his throat, she twisted back and kicked up at his crotch. The angle wasn’t great and the sofa slid, and she caught him high, just at the beltline. Mills staggered backward, his feet bloody. He brought the gun up, and I launched myself low off the sofa. I caught him in the knees and he fell back against the kitchen counter and bounced off and scrabbled out from under me. Jane did some scissor thing with her legs and flipped herself off the sofa, coming up lightly on two feet.