Robert Randisi - I'm a fool to kill you

They each had plane tickets from Chicago to Las Vegas. They arrived the night before on a red-eye. Somebody had sent those two jokers to Vegas in a hurry.

‘Two guns from Chicago on a red-eye,’ I said. ‘We gotta get out of here, Jerry, before somebody comes lookin’ for these guys, or sends replacements.’

‘Hold up, Mr G.,’ he said. ‘Nobody’s gonna replace ’em until they’re found. We’re OK for now, but I agree we gotta get Miss Ava outta here soon.’

‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘soon, like tomorrow. But first we gotta find out if she did call her sister.’

‘She was still asleep last time I checked.’

It was later in the afternoon, and I could hear Jerry’s stomach growling.

‘That diner down the block still open?’ he asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘How about I go grab us some food?’ he asked. ‘I think better on a full stomach.’

‘Fine.’ I gave him some of the money Ava had given me. ‘Get whatever you want, bring me and Ava some burgers and fries.’

‘High class lady like her must be useta eatin’ better than we been givin’ her,’ he said.

‘She hasn’t complained about the food yet, Jerry.’

‘Maybe I’ll bring her a club sandwich,’ he said. ‘Classy people like club sandwiches.’

‘Whatever you think, pal.’

He grabbed my car keys. The Caddy had driven fine on the way home, betraying no damage other than some scratches to the back.

As the front door closed I thought I heard Ava stirring in the bedroom. She had been asleep for about three hours. I got up and walked to the doorway. She was moving around, then suddenly the blanket spread open and she rose up into a seated position.

‘What the hell happened?’ she asked.

I entered the room and approached the bed. She looked better, more color in her face and focus to her eyes.

‘You went into shock after the shooting,’ I said. ‘What do you remember?’

‘I remember Jerry shooting the shit out of those two bastards,’ she said. ‘Did you fire my gun?’

‘I didn’t have time,’ I said. ‘Jerry was too fast.’

I had the distinct feeling that she was happy her gun hadn’t killed anybody.

‘Don’t look at me,’ she said, suddenly. ‘I must look like shit.’ She leaped from the bed, ran to the bathroom and slammed the door.

I walked to the door and said, ‘Jerry went for some food.’

‘Good,’ her muffled voice said, ‘I’m starving.’

That, at least, was a good sign.

‘I’ll see you in the kitchen.’

No answer, so I left the room.

When she came into the kitchen she had applied her make-up and combed her hair, was still wearing the sweater and jeans from that afternoon but was barefoot. I couldn’t help thinking, the Barefoot Contessa is barefoot in my kitchen.

But I had to put aside all my feelings for Ava — lust, affection, awe — and be kind of tough with her, because I needed to know.

‘Ava, some coffee?’

‘Sure. Where’s Jerry with that food?’

‘Any minute.’ I poured a cup of coffee and she sat at the kitchen table.

As I slid it over to her I said, ‘I have to ask you a question.’

‘Go ahead.’

‘You told me this morning you wanted to call your sister,’ I said. No comment. I went on. ‘I have a feeling you already called her.’

She stared at me, then lifted her chin and asked haughtily, ‘What if I did?’

‘Then you may have almost got us killed today.’

She tried to hold my eyes, but in the end she looked away and bit her lip. I gave her a minute. Yeah, I know. Real tough guy.

‘OK,’ she said, looking at me, ‘OK, I called her yesterday.’

‘Did you tell her where you were?’

She hesitated, then said, ‘I didn’t tell her I was in your house.’

‘But you did mention Vegas.’

‘Yes.’

I shook my head.

‘She wouldn’t have told anyone,’ she said. ‘I swear!’

‘She might not have to, Ava. If someone is lookin’ for you bad enough, they may have bugged her phone, or her house.’

‘Jesus,’ she said, as that realization set in. ‘So it might be my fault those two men are dead?’

I was afraid she might get upset again. If she went into shock this time we might have to take her to the hospital.

‘Ava, those men got themselves killed,’ I said. ‘Anybody who pulls a gun on Jerry is an idiot.’

‘Eddie. . I’m sorry,’ she said, sincerely.

‘I know, Ava.’

‘So now what?’ she asked.

‘Tomorrow we’ll find someplace else for you.’ At that moment I heard Jerry come in the front door. ‘Right now, we eat.’

‘Should we warn Bappie?’ Ava asked while we were eating.

‘I don’t think so, Ava,’ I said. ‘She’s probably not in any danger. If they bugged her, they know everything she knows, and they realize she doesn’t know much.’

Ava looked at Jerry for reinforcement. He looked at me for permission. I nodded.

‘Mr G. is right,’ he said. ‘She’s OK. Just don’t call her again.’

‘I won’t,’ Ava said. ‘I just. . I didn’t want her to worry.’

‘It’s OK,’ I said.

Ava bit into her club sandwich and said to Jerry, ‘This is perfect, Jerry. Thanks for thinking of it.’

Jerry gave me a self-satisfied look as I bit into my burger.

I decided to stay in the house that night, so I got some blankets and a pillow and made myself a bed on the living room floor. Me and Jerry were roomies.

‘I think she’s unhappy,’ Jerry said, keeping his voice low.

It was dark, but we each knew the other was still awake.

‘You’re right about that,’ I said.

‘But why?’ he asked, ‘I mean. . she’s freakin’ Ava Gardner. Everybody loves her.’

‘Not everybody, Jerry,’ I said. ‘And she doesn’t love herself. She keeps talkin’ about how she looks.’

‘She looks amazin’,’ Jerry said.

‘To you and me,’ I said, ‘and maybe to most men, but to herself she doesn’t look the way she did at twenty-five, or even thirty-five.’

‘Oooh,’ Jerry said, getting it, ‘she’s afraid of gettin’ old.’ He lowered his voice even more when he said it.

‘Like most movie stars, I guess.’

‘But. . she can’t even be forty yet. She’s got lots of time.’

‘There maybe more to it than that, Jerry,’ I said. ‘There’s the break up with Frank, the drinkin’, she mentioned somethin’ about Papa dyin’.’

‘Her dad?’

‘No, I think she meant Ernest Hemingway,’ I said. I folded my arms, stared up at the ceiling. ‘They’ve been friends since she made The Killers . She must’ve taken it hard when he killed himself.’

‘So she’s got a lot goin’ on,’ he said.

‘Yup.’

‘And now a black out.’

We remained silent for a while, and then he said. ‘Mr G., you ever black out? I mean, lose some time like that?’

‘No,’ I said, ‘never.’

‘Me neither. Must be pretty scary.’

‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘must be.’

Ava was experiencing a lot of fear; fear of getting old, maybe fear of being alone, and now fear of what she might have done during those forty hours.

‘We have to find out for her, Jerry,’ I said. ‘We have to fix it so she at least doesn’t have to be afraid of that. She’s got enough to deal with.’

‘OK, Mr G.,’ he said. ‘I’m with ya.’

It bothered me that the two gunmen Jerry had killed had come from Chicago. The next morning in the kitchen, before Ava awoke and while Jerry was making some eggs, I mentioned this to the big guy.

‘Yeah, I know, Mr G. It bugs me, too.’

‘Think you can make some calls? Maybe find out somethin’?’ I asked him.