Robert Randisi - You're nobody 'til somebody kills you

The limo took us to the Sahara.

“First we’re goin’ into the Casbah Room to give Rickles a hard time,” Frank said.

Frank liked Rickles, called him “Bullethead.”

As soon as Rickles came out he targeted Frank, Sammy and Dean. I just happened to be sitting with them.

“Hey, guys, make yourselves comfortable,” Rickles said. Then he held a make-believe tommy gun in his hands and went, “Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat.”

The guys started laughing, but then Frank stood up and said, “That’s it, I’m gettin’ outta here.”

“Take it easy, Frank,” Rickles said. “I have to listen to you sing.”

“Jokes aside, kid,” Frank said, “who’s your favorite singer?”

Rickles immediately shot back, “Dick Haymes,” and people were on the floor.

Suddenly Dean was on stage.

“I’ve got somethin’ to say.”

“Great,” Rickles said, “the Pope speaks.”

“Don Rickles is the funniest man in show business-but don’t go by me, I’m drunk!”

When we got to the Congo Room, Tony and Janet had already been shown to Frank’s booth. I found it hard not to stare at Janet Leigh. She was luminous. I’d had it bad for her ever since I saw her in The Black Shield of Falworth in 1954. Of course, Tony had the lead in that movie, and had uttered the famous words “Yonder lies the castle of my father,” only with his Brooklyn accent he’d said “fadduh.” Or so the joke goes. Actually, since I was from Brooklyn I knew he didn’t have a Brooklyn accent. He was from the Bronx.

Peggy Lee was playing the Congo Room that night but we’d missed her set.

The introductions were made and when I said “Glad to meet you,” to them I was, of course, looking at Tony, trying not to stare at his wife.

The night was enjoyable, to say the least. Excellent food, good conversation. I was very happy to be sitting among those stars while other diners looked on. This was, to say the least, auspicious company.

It was Dean who called it quits first, saying he was going to head back to his suite at the Sands.

“Mind if I hitch a ride?” I asked.

“Oh, no, Charley, not you, too,” Sammy said. “Come on, the night is young.”

“I’ve got some things to do tomorrow, Sam,” I said, “and I’ll need to get an early start.”

Sammy was going to tease me some more, but Frank put his hand on Sam’s arm. I had the feeling Dean had told Frank about me helping Marilyn.

“Hey, Sam, leave the guy alone,” Frank said. “Go on, Eddie. We understand.”

I said my good-byes to Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh and then walked out with Dean, who was lucky enough to get a good-bye kiss from Janet. Dean had been in a film called Who Was That Lady? with both of them before he made Ocean’s Eleven .

In the limo I told Dean about my conversations with Marilyn.

“You sendin’ your buddy Danny to California with her?”

“Not exactly,” I said. “He’ll probably just tail her to the airport, see if anyone else is followin’. Then if we need to, I’m sure he knows somebody in L.A. who can watch her for us, but …”

“But what?”

“Marilyn’s jumpy,” I said. “We put a man on her and she might see him and get the wrong idea.”

“That could push her over the edge.”

“Whataya mean, push her over the edge?” I asked. “Dean, is she drinkin’? Doin’ drugs?”

“To tell you the truth, Eddie, I’m not sure,” Dean said, “but I wouldn’t be surprised.”

I rubbed my hand over my face, then over my hair, frustrated.

“What’s on your mind, Eddie?” Dean asked. “There’s somethin’ more goin’ on here. I saw it at dinner.”

“Just family shit, Dean.”

“Like what?”

I hesitated, then said, “I got a call from my sister … my mother died.”

“Ah, geez, Eddie, I’m sorry, man. You didn’t have to come out to dinner with us tonight.”

“No, no, I wanted to,” I said. “Look, I haven’t seen any of my family in years. In fact, I haven’t even called my sister back yet. But I’m probably gonna have to fly to New York, like, tomorrow. I’ll make sure Marilyn can get hold of me if she has to.”

“You’re hooked, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Dean, I didn’t do anythin’-”

“No, no,” he said, “I didn’t mean that. I just meant hooked into her … vulnerability. Nothing sexual.”

“Yeah. It’s like you said it would be.”

We pulled to a stop in front of the Sands. The chauffeur opened the door on Dean’s side, but Dino signaled for him to close it again.

“Look, Eddie, you go to New York, do what you gotta do. Marilyn’s not your responsibility. She’s not anyone’s, really, we just … her friends are worried.”

“You asked me to talk with her and now I want to help her,” I said. “If I fly to New York tomorrow I’ll probably be back in three days. My family has never done anything slow, and I can’t see that they’ve changed over the years. Today’s Tuesday, my mother’s probably bein’ buried on Friday. Four days, then. No three. Ah hell, I’ll be back probably Saturday.”

“Look,” Dean said, putting his hand on my arm, “take it easy. Take care of family business and then come back. Everything will still be here. You comin’ in?”

“No, I’m gonna go home.”

“Billy’ll drive you. See you when you get back, Eddie. I won’t leave Vegas until Sunday.”

“Okay, Dean. Thanks.”

He slammed his door. The driver got back in, started the engine and pulled away. He turned on the radio. The sports report said Bob Feller and Jackie Robinson were being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame the next day.

I heard from Teddy Silver as I was scraping dried eggs off a plate into the garbage after breakfast. It was one of the few times I tried cooking for myself, penance for all the time I spent eating out.

“Eddie?”

“Hey, Teddy.”

“Hey, man, we got nothin’,” he said. “She flew in here, and then on to Tahoe. A lot of us saw her, but there’s no way we can tell if she was being followed. Just too damn many people.”

“Okay, Teddy,” I said. “That’s what I figured. Thanks for tryin’.”

“Sure, man. Hey, you gonna get to meet her?”

“Already have.”

“Wow, man, that’s, like, crazy. Is she as gorgeous up close and in person?”

“More, Teddy,” I said, “much more.”

“Damn-” he said, but I hung up before I could hear the rest.

Before I could make a move on my day the phone rang again.

“Eddie?”

“Hey, Danny.”

“I’m here, man. She’s inside. She never left the room all night.” I heard him yawn.

“How do you know for sure?”

“I talked to a desk clerk, and took a peek in a window,” he said. “I saw her there. She looks so small … so sad.”

Even Danny, I thought. Biggest hound I ever knew, and he could see it.

“Okay, Danny. She’s headin’ home today, I think.”

“You want me to go with her?”

“All the way to L.A.?”

“I thought you wanted her watched?”

“Just see if anyone follows her as far as McCarron,” I said. “From there you can make up your own mind.”

“Do you think she’s imaginin’ it?” Danny asked. “Or do you think it’s for real?”

“I talked to her for a while yesterday,” I said. “I’m afraid she’s imaginin’ the whole thing, Danny.”

“Maybe,” Danny said, “but it’s real to her, ya know?”

“Yeah, pal,” I said, “I’m afraid I do know. Look, man, I think I’m gonna be flyin’ home for a few days.”

“Home?” Danny asked. “You mean, Brooklyn? What for?”

“My mother died.”