Rex Stout - The Cop Killer

“What did you say to Mr. Cramer?”

“Practically nothing. Just answered a civil question.”

“What did you say to Mr. Stebbins?”

I thought I knew now where he was headed and hoped to God I was right. “Oh, just asked what was going on, and he told me. I’ve told you about it.”

“Not verbatim. What did you say?”

“Nothing, damn it! Of course Purley wanted to know what brought me there, and I told him I — say, wait a minute! Maybe you’re right at that! He asked me if I had seen Carl or Tina this morning, and I said sure, I had put them here in the front room and told them to wait, and if he would step on it—”

“Ha!” Wolfe snorted. “I knew it! Your confounded tongue. So that’s it.” He looked at Cramer. “Why have you waited to pounce?” he asked, trying not to sound too contemptuous, for after all Cramer was drinking his beer. “Since Archie has rashly disclosed our little secret, it would be useless for me to try to keep it. That’s what we use the front room for mainly, to keep murderers in. You’re armed, I suppose? Go in and get them. Archie, open the door for him.”

I went to the door to the front room and pulled it open, not too wide. “I’m scared of murderers myself,” I said courteously, “or I’d be glad to help.”

Cramer had a glass half full of beer in his hand, and it may well be that that took the trick. Bullheaded as he was, he might have been capable of getting up and walking over for a look into the room, even though our build-up had convinced him it was empty, not caring how much we would enjoy it or how silly he would look coming out. But the glass of beer complicated it. He would either have to take it with him or reach first to put it down on the little table — or throw it at Wolfe.

“Nuts,” he said and lifted the glass to drink.

I swung the door to carelessly, without bothering to see that it latched, and yawned on the way back to my chair.

“At least,” Wolfe said, rubbing it in, “I can’t be jailed for harboring a fugitive — one of your favorite threats. But I really don’t know what you’re after. If it was those two you’ll get them, of course. What else is there?”

“Nothing but a little more evidence.” Cramer glanced at his wristwatch. “I’ll get down to my office. That’s where I started for, and this was on the way so I thought I’d stop to see what you had to say. We’ll get ’em all right. It don’t pay to kill a cop in this town.” He stood up. “It wouldn’t pay for anyone to hide a cop-killer in their front room, either. Thanks for the beer. I’ll be expecting those affidavits, and in case—”

The phone rang. I swiveled and got it. “Nero Wolfe’s office, Archie Goodwin speaking.”

“Inspector Cramer there?”

I said yes, hold it. “For you,” I told him and moved aside, and he came and took it. He spoke not more than twenty words altogether, between spells of listening. He dropped the phone onto the cradle, growled something about more trouble, and headed for the door.

“Have they found ’em?” I asked his back.

“No.” He didn’t turn. “Someone’s hurt-the Stahl girl.”

I marched after him, thinking the least I could do was cooperate by opening another door for him, but he was there and on out before I caught up, so I about-faced and returned to the office.

Wolfe was standing up, and I wondered why all the exertion, but a glance at the wall clock showed me 3:55, nearly time for his afternoon visit to the plant rooms.

“He said Janet got hurt,” I stated.

Wolfe, finishing the last of his beer, grunted.

“I owe Janet something. Besides, it could mean that Carl and Tina are out of it. We ought to know, and they would like to know. I don’t usually get shaved twice a day, but there’s no law against it. I can be there in ten minutes. Why not?”

“No.” He put the glass down. “We’ll see.”

“I don’t feel like we’ll seeing. I need to do something. I lost ten pounds in ten seconds, standing there holding that doorknob, trying to look as if it would be fun to watch him coming to look in. If it wasn’t for our guests I almost wish he had, just to see what you would do, not to mention me. I’ve got to do something now.”

“There’s nothing to do.” He looked at the clock and moved. “Put those folders back, please?” Halfway to the door he turned. “Disturb me only if it is unavoidable. And admit no more displaced persons to the house. Two at a time is enough.”

“It was you who fed—” I began with feeling, but he was gone. In a moment I heard the sound of his elevator.

I put the folders away and took the beer remains to the kitchen and then went to the front room. Tina, who was lying on the couch, sat up as I entered and saw to her skirt hem. She had nice legs, but my mind was occupied. Carl, on a chair near the foot of the couch, stood up and asked a string of questions with his eyes.

“As you were,” I told them gruffly. I heartily agreed with Wolfe that two was enough. “I hope you didn’t go near the windows?”

“We have learned so long ago to stay away from windows,” Carl said. “But we want to go. We will pay the fifty dollars gladly.”

“You can’t go.” I was irritated and emphatic. “That was Inspector Cramer, a very important policeman. We told him you were in here, and so—”

“You told him—” Tina gasped.

“Yes. It’s the Hitler-Stalin technique in reverse. They tell barefaced lies to have them taken for the truth, and we told the barefaced truth to have it taken for a lie. It worked. You were within a hair’s breadth of getting flushed, and I’ll never be the same again, but it worked. So now we’re stuck, and you are too. You stay here. We’ve told the cops you’re in this room, and you’re not going to leave it, at least not until bedtime. I’m locking you in.” I pointed to a door. “That’s a bathroom, and there’s a glass if you want a drink. It has another door into the office, but I’ll lock it. The windows have bars.”

I crossed to the door to the hall and locked it with my master key. I went through to the office, entered the bathroom in the corner, turned the bolt flange on the door to the front room, opened the door an inch, returned to the office, locked that door with my key, and went back to the front room. Carl and Tina, speaking in low tones, fell silent as I entered.

“All set,” I told them. “Make yourselves comfortable. If you need anything don’t yell, this room is soundproofed; push this button.” I put my finger on it, under the edge of the table. “I’ll give you the news as soon as there is any.” I was going.

“But this is hanging in the air on a thread,” Carl protested.

“You’re damn right it is,” I agreed grimly. “Your only hope is that Mr. Wolfe has now put his foot in it, and it’s up to him to get both you and him loose, not to mention me. He can’t possibly do it, which is an advantage, because the only things he ever really strains himself on are those that can’t be done. The next two hours are time out. He doesn’t let anything interfere with his afternoon session, from four to six, with his orchids up on the roof. By the way, there is a small gleam. Inspector Cramer beat it back to the shop because he got a phone call that Janet had been hurt. If she got hurt with scissors with you not there, it may be a real break.”

“Janet?” Tina was distressed. “Was she hurt much?”

I looked at her suspiciously. Surely that was phony. But she looked as if she really meant it. Maybe with some people who have been hurt plenty and often themselves, that’s the way they react when someone else gets it, someone they know.

“I don’t know,” I said, “and I’m not going to try to find out. Curiosity can be justified only up to a point, and this is no time to stretch it. We’ll have to sit it out, at least until six o’clock.” I glanced at my wrist. “That’s only an hour and twenty minutes. Then we’ll see if Mr. Wolfe has cooked up a charade. If not, he may at least invite you to dinner. See you later.”